• Memory • An Initiate In The Making

[Avrae Kyric]

50th of Ashan, 715

Dear Sir Kyric,

It is my regret to inform you of the passing of your uncle, Rayvar Kyric, on the 4th of Ashan, 715. Rayvar perished after the dousing of his combustion. As found in his last will and testament, his house, belongings, and all his savings have been bequeathed to you as his last blood kin. We urge you home to Sirothelle to claim his property. If you do not…

It was at this point in reading that the parchment in Avrae’s hand was crumpled in his fist, until it was a mere ball. The ginger haired Aukari angrily tossed it into the distance, watching it roll in the wet grass.It was Ashan, and the snow had begun to melt, leaving patches of the white substance that had only began to wash away from the recent rains. In fact, it had rained that very morning, and as Avrae sat outside Mal’s cave, he could see the angry gray clouds rolling overhead. His breath still came out in little foggy white clouds, and he could taste the rain in the air, despite the small break. Avrae hated being out in the rain, or near any water- such as the creek that was nearby. His amulet’s red eyes had been glowing the entire season he’d been staying here. Avrae had suspected he’d have to leave now that the worst of winter was over, but he didn’t know leaving would take him back to Sirothelle. His time as Mal’s guest had been overall pleasant, and Avrae found himself enjoying the time he spent with the strange yet kind young human male. He would not have stayed much longer, but he found himself sad to go.

Alluin was asleep still in the cave. It was around dawn, earlier than many would be up, but Avrae found it hard to sleep when he was troubled. The other day he’d made the journey to Ne’haer, only two days away from Mal’s cave. There, he’d found the letter waiting for him, that changed everything. He wasn’t sure how he felt, and that was a dangerous thing for an Aukari. Taking a few calming breaths, Avrae tried to still shaking hands, biting into his bottom lip as he looked across the beautiful scenery. He loved traveling, but the idea of going back to Sirothelle bothered him. Or was it the thought of leaving his newfound cave companion?

[Mal]

From the treeline, Mal’s lupine eyes met Avrae’s form. The multi-faceted blend of shadows and grass hid him well enough, though from a distance all he could see was the rare emotional discomfort of his Aukari friend, the male’s breath piercing the veil of the cold air. Without warning, that parchment in Avrae’s hand was tossed in his direction, settling into the grass nearby. It was this action that spurred him to leave his cover behind the tree, ears peeled back as he approached Avrae.

With that string of totems around his neck, there was no mistaking him for another wolf at this point as he trotted up and silently sat next to the Aukari, looking up at him. Calling to his human totem, he latched into the ‘echo’ of human speech with his mind and tore it out, his throat adjusting to accommodate the change slightly. A fair bit more practiced at speaking through the form of a wolf, his lips raised and moved as he enunciated his words carefully.

“Avrae…” he first said, tail curling around his friend’s shin. “Are you alright? I don’t think I’ve seen you this upset before… if you wish to talk about it.” For more than the past season, Mal had freeloaders residing in his cave. At first, it began with them taking shelter to avoid the cold, but it quickly progressed into an ‘I live here now’ sort of situation. It made things uncomfortable for everyone at times, and at other times it was welcome… Mal had never had such a close friend in this dangerous wilderness. Even Taarserilla did not spend as much time with Mal as Avrae. He’d formed an attachment to Avrae and his Tunawa ‘slave’ - an aspect he still didn’t agree with - more out of the time spent together than what they actually had in common.

Still, it didn’t change the fact that Mal suspected something was afoot, and grew worried that his friend had possibly received dire news from that slip of paper. The clouds overhead further bothered him, the thick scent of wet rain that Mal had grown familiar with telling him that rain would soon come to the wilderness surrounding Ne’haer.

[Avrae Kyric]

Avrae was exhausted. That was the easy way to explain how he looked now, deep circles under his emotion filled eyes, his stubbled beard a little longer than he usually let it get. Drawing a hand over his face, he let out a shuddering breath, slouching slightly where he was perched on a rock outside the cave. As he removed the hand, however, he saw the wolf approaching. “Faldrun!” He cursed, jumping slightly, reaching for his dagger- until he noticed the totems. A season with him, and Avrae still wasn’t used to Mal walking around in animal form. Nor did he entirely understand how it worked, but he had been polite enough to not ask. As he relaxed once more, his eyes trailed across the form of the wolf he had come to call a friend. Absently, as Mal neared, he reached out to run his hand down his head, his long fingers stroking down his fur to the soft reaches of his ears. For a moment he scratched Mal there, curling his nails into the wolf’s softest spot. He knew it might have been demeaning, given that Mal was indeed human, but it was more to comfort himself than to comfort Mal. Besides, who didn’t enjoy a good itch? And it wasn’t as if Mal wasn’t comfortable enough with him to allow him to do so, his tail curling along his shin as they sat together.

As Mal spoke, Avrae’s hand paused in its motion. After a second of silence, he ran his hand along the length of Mal’s sturdy back, just feeling his fur, before he removed it. As he moved his gaze from Mal to the cloud covered sky, Avrae contemplated what to tell him. Was he upset? Or was it another emotion? He had never intended to stay with Mal over the cold season, but somehow he was still here. It was far past the time to move on, and he knew it. But…

“I’m not upset.” He said finally, running his hand through his hair in that flustered, nervous way of his. “I… I have to return to Sirothelle. My uncle died.” He paused, before clarifying, “He was a bastard and I’ve wished him dead for years- so that isn’t particularly upsetting.” His arms crossed his torso, hugging himself as he peered with unease at the impending rain clouds. Water was never an Aukari’s favorite thing, especially when out in the open like this. “Now that the snow has cleared, it’s time to travel once more, and back to a place I had hoped to leave behind.” He swallowed hard, turning his golden eyes back to Mal, and gave a somewhat tense, forced smile. “Though I have appreciated the hospitality. I owe you for this, Mal.”

[Mal]

An attempt from someone like Mal to comfort another was often poorly conceived, but somehow the wilderboy had found success. He didn’t think much of Avrae’s initial exclamation of ‘Faldrun’, whatever that meant. They had never talked of religion, and for the most part they rarely revealed details about their lives to one-another. Secretly, Mal dreaded the day Vuhl’mathi would return, and worried himself with the fear that his former master might slay his new friends… but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. It hung about his mind like a thick fog, always.

When that hand descended between his ears, the Becomer grew slightly agitated, rolling his head to the side in reflex to avoid it. He fell silent, though he sighed, a high-pitched noise of malcontentedness reverberating through his nose. He knows I don’t like this… but if he’s feeling this way… just this once. It did feel… nice, however, as those sharp bands of keratin shoved temporary gullies into his pelt, valleys of soft fur parting as they coursed along him. I’m not sure what disturbs me more, being treated like a pet or actually enjoying it?

Suddenly, a snort left his nose, masking his bestial attempt at chuckling. That echo had long since dissipated, for even that seemed to drain his energy a small amount when placed into action. It seemed like magic was a muscle… use it too much, and it might snap - Use it to a healthy extent, and it will improve. One of the reasons he had gotten along with Avrae so long was the male’s lack of questions regarding his magic.

Abruptly, that hand stopped, and shifted down to his back for a brief moment. The sudden change caused an electric bristle of static to run down his frame, a tingle up his spine as he turned his head to stare up into Avrae’s eyes, ears wide open. What are you going to say, Avrae? he wondered. Are you just going to keep quiet about what ails you, or are we finally going to have a heart to heart?

And then came the declaration. He’s not upset? If not that, then what else? He knew Avrae was rather… cold, emotionally. Then, his ears splayed back when he heard the next bit of news. Tapping into his totems for that echo, he spoke; “I’m sorry to hear that-” Avrae clarified that he wasn’t in mourning. “Then why do you have to go to Sirothelle?” Mal asked, listening further. “...You don’t owe me anything, Avrae. You’re the only… true friend I’ve had in my short life thus far.”

“I’ve never told you about my magic,” he admitted. “Where it comes from… who forced it upon me, what sort of person he is.” His voice cracked, straining with pained emotions that welled within as his ears flattened out, head lowering in angle until he was looking at the ground with those bestial eyes. “My mentor doesn’t treat apprentices like people, he sees them as, well… pets.” His brow contorted, puzzling out information before his voice resumed. “Nearly two Arcs ago, he left saying he would one day return. I didn’t want to mix you up in this, but know that any day now I may suddenly be gone. In fact, I’ve been considering leaving for Etzos ever since I met you… you’re the only thing that has kept me from doing so.”

“I hope he’s dead, that man… if you ever meet him, tell him everything you know about me. He will kill you otherwise, in the blink of an eye. He’s terrifying!“ Mal’s eyes grew heavy, wetness pooling up as his emotions ran their course. Blinking, the fur around his eyelids grew damp and matted, but he sighed away his fears. “All I can hope to do is Become far more than I am, to acquire the totems of greater beasts than he who has traveled the world and accomplished far more than I…”

“It’s all so… impossible. I fight until I break, every time, but I improve so little” he said. “Have you ever wondered what we give up to Become something else?” he placed his left forepaw on Avrae’s thigh. “That toe I’m missing… we give a part of ourselves as a part of the Initiation. Only, I had no choice. He ripped my finger off with his bare hands while I was chained to him by the fear of his threats. He thrust Ether into it, as you do when creating a Totem, and made me meditate with it. I had no choice but to comply. When he finally left, I abandoned the totem for my original form and took up the visage of the human boy you’ve seen me assume...” his voice trailed off, silence hinting at his despair.

“And yet Becoming is a part of my life I could no longer live without. It… sickens me, I feel as if I’ve become greedy…” at that moment, he had nothing else to say. Dismissing the echo, he fell silent. I really took over the conversation there… maybe I’m just afraid of losing Avrae? I don’t want him to go to Sirothelle… but at the same time I do, since he’ll be safer.

[Avrae Kyric]

Cold. Unemotional. Heartless. This was what Avrae had strived for, wished for, prayed for. He’d do just about anything not to feel. Feelings hurt. Feelings got you in trouble. Feelings like the ones that was causing Avrae to take very deep breaths at the moment. It was easier, however, as he began to listen to Mal speak. He had to disagree. If not for Mal, he hated to think of how he and Ailluin would have ended up in that snowstorm, or where they would have gone for the rest of Cylus. Avrae took that kind of thing seriously. He owed Mal, with whatever he would ask of him. One thing, but it could have been anything, should Mal ask for it. Avrae opened his mouth to tell him so, but fell silent once more as Mal continued to speak about the one subject that Avrae thought of often- Magic. He watched the Becomer begin to open up, more than a little surprised that he was doing so. But what was truly surprising was Mal’s confession of Avrae being his friend. A friend… I don’t have too many of those, either. When he thought of the word, three faces popped into his head. The first being Kabkadu, his deceased mentor. The second being Ailluin, and the third being… Mal. It was strange to think about having friends, something Avrae tried to stay away from.

Listening to Mal, he couldn’t help but shiver. That must be why he doesn’t like when I pet him… being treated like a pet must be an awful lot like being treated like a slave. But moreso, hearing Mal tell him he had stopped him from going to Etzos, and even going so far as to nearly plead with him to tell this man what he knew about Mal. Instantly, Avrae was tempted to shake his head. I couldn’t do that. Not to you, not to Ailluin… not to a friend. I’d rather take what he gives than to put everything on you. He would have said so, but instead he let his eyes close, listening to Mal. To Become something else… Opening his eyes, Avrae looked down at the paw Mal put on his thigh. Reaching down, Avrae took the paw carefully, examining the missing toe as Mal explained how he felt. As he finished, Avrae paused for a second, thinking of how to word his response.

“In Aukari control, we’re taught control from a very young age… so that we don’t combust, yes, but also… I’ve always interpreted it as stopping from losing myself. But I…” He hesitated, looking away from Mal as he admitted softly, “I would give anything to Become something else. To stop being in constant fear of combustion- or even just a fear of losing control. To be something else, whether it’s another race, or an animal… I would die for that chance. I know that sounds insane but… I don’t think it’s greedy at all. I think it’s… freeing. You may not have Become by your own choices, or the way you might have wished, but that doesn’t mean you can’t like who you are now. Mal, you are… unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Whatever happened to you, I won’t say I’m glad it did because it made you as you are, but I will say that you shouldn’t… let it make you live in fear. Of him, or of what you are. You shouldn’t dislike who you are now, Mal, not because of how you got to here and now.” He released his paw, and gave an extremely rare genuine small, albeit small, “It’s too bad you tossed that first totem, though… I would have liked to have seen what the real Mal looks like.”

Standing, he sighed and stretched lightly, taking a few steps. But he paused and looked back at Mal, eyeing him thoughtfully. Finally, he asked, “How does it feel? To be something else… something where… there are no expectations?”

[Mal]

The heavy sway of Mal’s emotionally unhinged mind let him reach several highs and lows as Avrae spoke, the wolf’s ears flickering as he looked up at the Aukari as a sign of respect, that he cared and was paying attention. He waited patiently, listening, lending his powerful ears as he flexed his paw in Avrae’s grip, letting those eyes look over the shorn, scarred flesh.

Reaching into his totem to pull out that Echo again, the power of speech came back to him. “Maybe you would be free, Avrae…” he said, in response to the male’s musings. “But I… I have someone who seeks to keep me bound to them in chains. Still, the Aukari seemed to want to know more about Becoming… and Mal understood the need to be something else. The cost, however, was great. He knew it to be all-too-well.

Those eyes of his picked up Avrae’s smile, his head cocking in surprise. He realized, then, that he’d never seen the Aukari smile before. “I was just a dirty vagrant boy as a child. I couldn’t get away from my form fast enough when my captor left for his business… it made me feel liberated, leaving that body behind. Why should I grow attached to a particular form when I can be anything I can acquire a totem for? Still, I cannot agree with you there. Unlike your Tunawa, I do not wish to be beholden to anyone, and I cannot underestimate the power of the man who holds my… leash, so-to-speak.” Mal left out details about the Coven purposefully, knowing full-well that there had to be something far more sinister at work with this organization he’d been taught about. Mages, a despicable lot… he hoped he’d never become so impossibly clout, rude, arrogant, and… evil.

“The nature of magic is seemingly corrupting. I have yet to experience anything too strange, but even as a Human I can now consume raw meat as if I were a wolf… and even more disturbing, I prefer it now, to the cooked variety. My… master was predatory, he moved and reacted like a wild thing, monstrously inclined.” his dispensation of information tapered off as he finished justifying his fear of what Becoming truly meant. “

Realizing he had neglected to answer Avrae’s question again, he answered. “It’s peculiar to be something other than the typical races. You can Become something so obsolete that you have value to those who seek that simplicity, rendering them ignorant of your intentions, blindly pursuing you for affection. That is why, on the streets of Ne’haer, I commit thievery as a Ne’haer Husky. Sometimes I will outright receive gifts, other times people will try to abduct and sell me though it never ends well…” he chuckled briefly.


“As to how it feels… it’s a whole world of senses that the races simply do not have. I can scent blood on the wind from a mile away though sometimes I get overwhelmed distinguishing between the hundreds of other scents in any given breath. At first I could even smell myself before I grew used to it.” he said, moving on to the next subject. “I can hear even the bugs skittering on blades of grass nearby, or the wind before it reaches me. I feel warm without clothes, because my fur protects me from the elements. Admittedly, I feel superior out here, in my own element.”

Mal stood too now, padding forward and turning to position himself a small distance in front of Avrae. “And yet there is the pain of Becoming that I fear I will never quite enjoy. To a new student, it is agonizing and unbearable, and if you pass out and fail the initiation you will die. Even now, when I change forms, I chase that halfway point between what I was and what I want to be, where I can feel nothing. All of my worries and concerns fade away as if I were given a drug. It helps me get through the pain, and sometimes I find myself shifting just to achieve that sensation… an escape.”

“Yes…” he said. “Becoming is escaping what you are, your frailties, even your mind… I understand the temptation, but having an interest in Becoming something else shouldn’t be taken lightly.” He was surprised at how clear his thoughts were on this subject, that he was able to describe in length something like this. Those Arcs spent ruminating and theorizing in deep introspection had apparently given him a wealth of opinions on the subject.

[Avrae Kyric]

Of course, the cost was great. Nothing in life was cheap, and the best things, such as the freedom of Becoming something else, had the biggest price of all. Avrae knew this, and as he listened to Mal explain just how it was to Become, he found that it was… scary. He would never openly admit to being afraid, but he would be a fool not to be afraid when dabbling in magic. Reaching up, he absently clasped his hand around the wolf’s head pendant that was forever around his neck, swallowing hard as he let Mal’s explanation sink in.

“None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.” Avrae murmured, gazing off into the distance for a moment. It brought back plenty of memories, but he’d never forgotten that quote. Taking a breath, he spoke, “When I was little… I was a slave. Only for a short time but it isn’t something you forget. I was… fortunate to get out of slavery when I did. But I remember one day, I… I cried. In front of my slave master. And he slapped me, and as I sat on the ground, he crouched down and told me that. He said it was… merciful, that I had a master. Because freedom- false freedom- is true slavery. He told me how Aukari are hated, how they’re monsters who burn everything they touch… and he told me that I would never be free, even if I no longer had the shackles of a slave. At least this way I had one person who would see I had clothes and food… and he said that was more than I deserved.”

Avrae shivered as his amber gaze returned to his Becomer friend. “I understand that Becoming is… strange magic. I know it must be so, to walk in animal form. To eat and sleep and fight as an animal… but you seem… content with it. Happy, even, to be a beast rather than a humanoid species. I… I can see myself looking to be content in much the same way.”

Glancing back at the cave, his thoughts turned to Ailluin. She won’t approve. She’ll say it’s too dangerous. That magic is something I shouldn’t mess with… but this isn’t her choice.

Avrae fell silent for a moment, thinking it over, before he raised his head to lock gazes with Mal. A new determination burned in his amber orbs, and he moved to stand. “I would like it. To learn to Become. I can handle pain… I can handle this. My only wish is that Ailluin doesn’t know. At least, not now. I don’t want her to know until I can Become for real. And if I die in the process… someone can tell her it was an accident, that a beast came after me in the woods, or that I… burst into flames.” He wouldn’t have lied to Ailluin unless he felt it was necessary.

Looking down at his Becomer friend, Avrae was set in his wish to learn. “Perhaps... someday we'll be equals, Mal.” He asked softly. It was a lot to wish for, but as Avrae turned away from Mal and began walking back to the cave, he knew he anted to learn someday. Luckily, Avrae was stubborn enough that now, having made up his mind, he’d find a way to Become, whether Mal was his teacher or not. He may have to go back to Sirothelle now but... someday, he hoped to meet Mal again, with new abilities under his sleeves.

[Pegasus]

Avrae

Points!:

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5

Knowledge:

Mal: Can look like a wolf
Mal: Considers you his true friend
Mal: A Becomer
Mal: Very eloquent about Becoming
Uncle: Reyvar has died.

Loot:

NA

Fame:

NA

Devotion:

NA

Magic:

These points may NOT be used for arcana

Mal

Points!:

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5

Knowledge:

Avrae: Aukari
Avrae: Has a Tunawa slave
Avrae: Your only true friend?
Avrae: Curious about Becoming
Avrae: Wants to be more than he is, different than he is.

Loot:

NA

Fame:

NA

Devotion:

NA

Magic:

These points MAY may be used for arcana

Overview:

General comments. Hey guys - I'm just a little confused by the timestamp here? The thread is dated 715, which means I assume it's a memory thread. Yet, the Uncle died in 716. Please check that kind of thing to make the internal story consistent. Thanks! Also, in the first post, Avrae, you talk about an amulet's eyes glowing? I can't find that on your CS, please could you make sure that you deduct the gold and identify the item? Apologies if I'm missing it in the CS revamp, but I've searched!
Story A lovely little story, a nice relationship here. The ending was a little rushed, but it was an ending and the pc's were well written. A cohesive piece and fun to review - thanks!
Structure All good, no issues.

Please do PM me if you think I've missed anything or you have any questions!