Luvi decided fairly on in the morning that she wasn't going to be going to lessons that day. She snuck out through her window so that nobody would be able to find her. She just needed a break, a chance to clear her head and refocus. She didn't want to disappoint her father, but she felt like she was on the verge of burnout. The thought of swinging a sword all day just made her exhausted. Then there were all the other things she was expected to do as a young woman who was meant to learn the ways of the world.
“Let’s see if I can find something to do that can beat sitting inside all day,” she murmured.
Luvi wandered around the town for a bit, stopping at her favorite bakery for a pastry. She sat on a bench and watched people go about their day, feeling a sense of peace wash over her. She was free from the pressure of training and she could just enjoy the moment. After a while, Luvi started to feel guilty about ditching her lessons. She knew her father would be worried about her and she didn't want to cause any unnecessary stress. With a heavy heart, she made her way back home, ready to face the consequences of her actions.
When she walked in the door, her tutor was waiting for her. He had a stern look on his face, but Luvi could see the relief in his eyes. They talked, and while he was upset with her for not showing up to lessons, he also understood where she was coming from. They agreed that it was important for her to take breaks and find ways to refresh and recharge, as long as it didn't interfere with her training. Luvi was grateful for her tutor’s understanding. She knew that she still had a lot to learn, but she was also determined to find a balance that worked for her. She was ready to get back to training, but she was also looking forward to exploring other interests and finding new ways to challenge herself.
Unfortunately for Luvi, a break simply meant she would be forced to do something else that she didn't like. She was told to practice math. Math. Luvi wondered what in the world she'd ever need math for. She sighed and sat down at the kitchen table, staring at the pages filled with equations and numbers. Luvi had never been particularly good at math, but her tutor was insistent that she needed to learn. The hours passed by and Luvi's mind wandered. She thought about how much she'd rather be outside, exploring the town or hanging out with her friends.
As she scribbled down an answer, she couldn't help but feel that there must be something more important she could be learning. Math seemed so pointless. The tutor, however, was pleased with her progress and gave her a break. Luvi took the opportunity to escape to the garden, where she spent the a couple hours playing around. Eventually, Luvi realized that perhaps she couldn't escape learning altogether. She was determined to find something that she was good at and that she enjoyed. She couldn't help but feel like her life was being controlled by her father and her tutors, but she knew that she had to try to make the best of it.
When Luvi finally wandered back into the home, her tutor was livid. He told her, "I gave you a chance to prove your discipline and you let me down. We're going to train whether you like it or not." He brought her out to the back yard and tossed a practice weapon at her. Luvi picked up the weapon, feeling the weight of it in her hand. She knew she wasn't going to be able to dodge this one. The instructor had her go through the same warm up exercises she'd done before, but this time she was more focused. She was determined to show her tutor that she was capable of learning and improving.
As she swung the weapon, Luvi felt her muscles starting to burn. The instructor shouted at her to put more power behind her swings, and she tried to comply. Despite her efforts, the weapon felt like it was getting heavier with each passing moment. Her tutor soon had her practicing different forms and movements, including the horizontal slash she'd struggled with the day before. This time, Luvi put all of her focus into each swing and soon she found that her form was much improved.
The instructor continued to push Luvi to the limit, until she was drenched in sweat and exhausted. When the lesson finally came to an end, Luvi was proud of herself for not giving up. She knew she still had a lot to learn, but she was determined to keep practicing until she was a skilled swordsman. As she made her way back into the house, Luvi was met with a surprise. Her relative had been watching her lesson and was impressed with her progress. He told her that he was proud of her and that he would consider rewarding her in the future.
Before her tutor left, Luvi went over to him and pulled him to the side. She asked him, "so what happens if I get attacked and defeat them with a blade? Like what am I supposed to do?"
Her tutor looked at her with a stern expression. "You're supposed to defend yourself, Illuvia," he said. "And it's not just about defeating them, it's about understanding when to use force and when to avoid it. It's about being able to read a situation and act accordingly. It's about being prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. You'll understand that with time and practice." He paused for a moment, then added, "But if you do find yourself in a situation where you need to defend yourself, it's important to be able to do so effectively. That's why we train."
Luvi furrowed her brow and asked, "so am I supposed to kill them? What does defending myself actually mean?"
The tutor sighed and said, "it means that you need to be able to protect yourself, your family and your community. You should always avoid violence, but if it's the only way to ensure your survival, then you have to be prepared to act. It's not about killing someone, it's about making sure that you're able to protect yourself and those you care about." The tutor then continued, "remember, the goal of training is to help you become a skilled warrior, not a killer. It's up to you to use your skills wisely."
Luvi was naïve and still learning about the ways of the world so she asked, "but I hear stories about people killing all the time. If someone attacks me, they deserve to die." It made sense to her. The importance of the justice system didn’t mean much to her. In her heart she felt like any judge would side with her. An eye for an eye, if you will.
He said, "the world is not so black and white, young one. It is never that simple. Killing someone should always be a last resort.”
Luvi felt like they were talking in circles. Clearly her tutor wasn’t going to give his blessing to kill someone, but Luvi knew if it came to it, she had it in her to do it. People died in battle. It was just a part of life in the military which is where she hoped she’d eventually end up. She decided to drop the subject and allow her tutor some reprieve from her line of questioning. She’d had a similar conversation before, but with someone in the military who had completely different views. They’d said that killing dangerous people should be something to strive for, even if it wasn’t the last option. She didn’t know which side she agreed with yet.
Luvi thought about what the man had said but she couldn’t think for long. She was made to go help clean up and help make supper. There were always chores to do for a child with nothing to do. As she went about her chores, Luvi's mind was filled with conflicting thoughts and emotions.
Luvi sat back, taking a break from her work. She felt envious of the bird soaring in the sky, unencumbered by the constraints of everyday life. She wished she could escape her own worries and fears, to live life with the same wild abandon that bird displayed. Luvi wondered in times like these if she was going down the right path. The expectations she put on herself were endless, and the thought of it all was overwhelming. The bird continued to soar in the distance, a symbol of freedom to Luvi. She watched it until it disappeared from sight, and then went back to her chores.
