• Solo • Motive (Graded)

13th of Cylus 720

Etzos, ‘The City of Stones’ is a fortress against the encroachment of Immortal domination of Idalos. Founded on the backs of mortals driven to seek their own destiny independent of the Immortals, the city has carved itself out of the very rock of the land. Scourged by terrible wars of extermination, they've begun to grow again, and with an eye toward expansion, optimism is on the rise.

Moderator: Basilisk Snek

User avatar
Neronin
Posts: 411
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:34 pm
Race: Human
Profession: Mage
Renown: 210
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Personal Journal
Templates
Wealth Tier: Tier 5

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Motive (Graded)

Image
13th Trial of Cylus -720

Dank and despoiled, the Underground was the same hive of danger in Cylus as it was any other trial. The passageways were lit y the same torches and the corners and curves held the same unknown menace. It was familiar, and it was comforting in its own way. Neronin tugged the rough homespun cowl down over his face even further. If it was familiar to him, he was familiar to it.

People knowing the old Al’Angyryl necromancer was alive and back in town was not particularly healthy for him. As he walked alone down the passage in his grimy laborer disguise he was acutely aware of his lack of assets. He had no corpses, no bones, not even a few dead dogs to use. The growth of his necrotic spark meant he was used to a buffer of undead to protect himself with. He would have to find suitable candidates soon if he meant to reestablish himself here.

Of course, he was never truly alone. His shadow stirred as he walked, the dual haunts clawing at its edges, ready to maim. It was part of the reason he had decided to visit one of the seedier Underground taverns. Less questions, less light, more knowledge of the real goings on in Etzos. He was careful to choose the Dogged Limb, a small sewer tavern outside Hessia’s domain. He did not know if she was still a player down here, but her people would recognize him sooner than someone in another territory of the Underground.

Neronin pushed aside the dank curtain that served as a front door to the Dogged Limb and stepped through. He nodded silently to the lean, leather clad man who slouched just inside the doorway. A smattering of ratty tables, stools, and benches crowded the storage room-turned tavern. Neronin surveyed the room as he stepped carefully.

He found a table of what looked like drunken soldiers and moved away from them. Instead he sat in a shadowy corner beside a pair of men bent over their liquor. The costumed Necromancer set a nel down on the table and settled back in his chair. To the casual observer it was the set of a man ready to focus on his drinking. He had seen his father settle that same way countless times. The server brought a wooden tankard and deftly swiped the coin.

Neronin sipped and listened.

“Oh yea, pulled the whole company off the Muster march. We’re doubling up on patrols here in the city.” One of the soldiers said.

There was a bark of laughter. “She does make the drinking more convenient.” The soldier raised his cup in mock salute. “Seems pretty concerned with watching the people. But I’m not complaining, the whores are better here than Muster.” Muster, Neronin knew, was one of the townships with the strongest Etzori army presence. Army movements there were common. What was happening in Etzos that would cause a change in the regular changing of the guard and more presence here in the city?

“Aye, better whores. Don’t like the officers breathing down our necks though.” Another older soldier muttered. His deep and rough voice was full of malcontent. There was a pregnant silence at the table and Neronin saw the two men from the other table stiffen and turn slightly. Tension charged the air, but the man who was speaking had his back to the pair. “Of course, all you need for a commission nowadays is a stinking Sintra spider hanging around your neck.”

The two men slammed back their chairs, standing up and staring over at the soldiers. The man on the left leaned forward and the brass spider fell out of its folds. The table of soldiers seemed to fixate on it. “Got a problem, boys?” The gruff soldier who had made the comment asked, shifting his weight forward on to his feet, though he remained seated. Neronin stilled in his seat.

“Boys? We’re Defiers in Sinatra’s Black Guard. I think you ought to change your tone, soldier.” The other man said. He made a gesture and the dirt and grime of his coat coalesced into a stone orb in his hand. Neronin felt his skin prickle. These were mages.

The necromancer quickly invoked the vibrating ether of his Abrogative spark. The power seeped through his body and out of his pores, creating a layer of ether around him that he focused on briefly. The there changed it’s frequency subtly and he finished the Muting spell, hiding his own magical signature as best he could. Perhaps it was too late, he should have done it from the beginning. The two mages, however, did not seem to be paying him any attention as they squared off against the group of soldiers.

Neronin sat between the two groups, but against the wall. This might be exactly what he had been looking for. Tensions were clearly high between the zealous Sintra followers and the ordinary man, but what did it mean? Was that why Sintra was keeping extra soldiers in the city?
word count: 856
User avatar
Neronin
Posts: 411
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:34 pm
Race: Human
Profession: Mage
Renown: 210
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Personal Journal
Templates
Wealth Tier: Tier 5

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Re: Motive

Image


“Aye, better whores. Don’t like the officers breathing down our necks though.” Another older soldier muttered. His deep and rough voice was full of malcontent. There was a pregnant silence at the table and Neronin saw the two men from the other table stiffen and turn slightly. Tension charged the air, but the man who was speaking had his back to the pair. “Of course, all you need for a commission nowadays is a stinking Sintra spider hanging around your neck.”

The two men slammed back their chairs, standing up and staring over at the soldiers. The man on the left leaned forward and the brass spider fell out of its folds. The table of soldiers seemed to fixate on it. “Got a problem, boys?” The gruff soldier who had made the comment asked, shifting his weight forward on to his feet, though he remained seated. Neronin stilled in his seat.

“Boys? We’re Defiers in Sinatra’s Black Guard. I think you ought to change your tone, soldier.” The other man said. He made a gesture and the dirt and grime of his coat coalesced into a stone orb in his hand. Neronin felt his skin prickle. These were mages.

The necromancer quickly invoked the vibrating ether of his Abrogative spark. The power seeped through his body and out of his pores, creating a layer of ether around him that he focused on briefly. The there changed it’s frequency subtly and he finished the Muting spell, hiding his own magical signature as best he could. Perhaps it was too late, he should have done it from the beginning. The two mages, however, did not seem to be paying him any attention as they squared off against the group of soldiers.

Neronin sat between the two groups, but against the wall. This might be exactly what he had been looking for. Tensions were clearly high between the zealous Sintra followers and the ordinary man, but what did it mean? Was that why Sintra was keeping extra soldiers in the city?

“Right.” One of the soldiers said, clearly caught off guard. It was one thing to pick a fight with another soldier in a bar, but a fight with an officer and a mage was probably quite a bit more than he bargained for. “Sorry, gents. Didn’t mean no disrespect.” He nudged his friends and stepped away from the table. “We’ll uh, just leave you in peace.”

Neronin and the mages watched the soldiers make their way out of the bar. Neronin felt a sinking disappointment that he would not glean more. The two did not sit, he saw. They conversed in low, harsh whispers. Then the one who had addressed the soldiers threw down coinage on the table and began shoving his way hastily towards the door. The other glanced around the room at the studiously incurious patrons and the bar man who had watched the whole exchange beadily. He moved after his compatriot quickly. Neronin set his drink down and watched until the second man had reached the entrance.

He stood and followed without looking at anyone. The Underground corridor beyond was almost silent, but he could hear the scrapes of footfalls from the left. He did not hesitate to follow. He stepped carefully so as not to make a noise. Soon he could make out the pair of figures by torchlight ahead. They were speaking and absorbed in their conversation. The necromancer followed behind them, carefully probing his Mute to ensure his own safety. He doubted these mages were a match for him though. Few were nowadays. But complacency would be the death of him, so he took no chances.

“Where did they go?” One man hissed as they walked. “We can’t let them get away with disrespecting the Lady Sintra. After all she plans to do for the city.” He was hunched and long of stride. It was the pose of a man consumed with fury.

“Also, if we are to put our lot with Sintra we want as few dissidents in our midst, Colum.” The other answered shrewdly.

“Aye, dissidents.” Colum answered.

They walked on in silence for a few moments. Neronin followed.

Soon they came to a wide crossing of tunnels with an abnormally high ceiling. The two paused and Colum cursed.

Neronin was tiring of the ploy and thought that what he had assumed to be promising sources of information on the new regime where actually just a couple of peons. He thought it might be better if he changed tack.

“You know, I thought I saw Etzori mages come this way...” Neronin stepped out of the shadows, pulling ether up around him from the three sparks as easily as a man would draw a sword. “But all I see are craven mutts.” He was not one to take risks in uneven fights, but he had the drop on them.

“Who the fuck-“ Colum began, raising a hand that seemed to coalesce with earth. But Neronin was quicker. Not for nothing was he a master of two magic disciplines by the age of twenty three.
word count: 856
User avatar
Neronin
Posts: 411
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:34 pm
Race: Human
Profession: Mage
Renown: 210
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Personal Journal
Templates
Wealth Tier: Tier 5

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Re: Motive

Image


Neronin unleashed both the sparks at the same time. The Rupturing spark crackled with power, sending a thundering clap reverberating. There was a hazy fizzing of black and green ether and phantasmic claws tended the space below the mage Colum. At the same time a deadly swirling nimbus of necrotic ether gathered around Neronin’s hand. Before his friend could raise a hand to help, Colum had fallen into the portal beneath his feet.

He descended out of its twin to slam into the ground next to Neronin. The necromancer flicked a finger and the miasma of his Sap hit the mage in the chest. To feel the Sap spell was to feel a draining of your energy, a lethargic slowing of your breathing and reaction. To feel a Sap from the spark of a true master of necromancy was to be crumpled without even the energy to break your fall. At least for those who were not of stout enough constitution.

This man was no warrior, nor farmer, nor laborer of any kind. Neronin’s Sap hit the man like a physical weight and he collapsed to the ground. Neronin again twinned his power, though both instances were of the most basic uses of his sparks. Now he cast a Barrier before him angled slightly downward while also pulsing his necrotic will towards the haunts of his shadow. The other mage was hurling a spinning torrent of ice shards towards him. Another Defier.

His Barrier spell was bolstered with Nemesis power, though he had never applied it to this particular use of Defiance. Still, the spell held, if only. The defiance spell impacted and shattered against it, showering the whole tunnel with frost and cracking the Barrier visibly.

Meanwhile the two haunts had manifested into a mass of writhing claws and teeth and limbs. The wretched shadowy manifestation was tearing into the one called Colum with a hunger only the undead could possess. The necromancer stepped sideways through another portal and came out behind the remaining Sintra loyalist.

He kicked the back of his knee with a clumsy boot. Then he did his best to smash the man’s head into the wall. But Neronin, for all his power and eldritch invocations, was no warrior. He succeeded in doing little more than knocking the man to his knees and shoving him further to the ground. The other man rolled and slashed out with a wicked looking dagger. Neronin leapt backwards clumsily and fumbled at his belt for his own dagger.

Of course the mage had other deadly weapons, but a small part of his human mind wanted to meet steel with steel. The hilt in his hand was a comfort, despite his lack of knowledge. He watched the man move, gathering his own ether as he did. They were clearly thinking the same thing.

Magic was a much more powerful tool.

The mage gestured and icy spikes erupted from the ground in a path towards Neronin. The necromancer did not hesitate. He charged forward. As he did so there was another crack of time and space being wrenched open and he disappeared into an eldritch opening of nightmarish ghouls. Neronin spent a heartbeat inside that wretched void that served as the between space of his own portals. In that moment his gaze fell on a darkness within the darkness, a spot that brought chills to his soul. He stared at the spot as his body charged through the intervening space and he could feel it staring back. Then he was through.

He came out behind the mage and slammed into the man’s back. But this Sintra mage was at least was capable in a scrap. He turned the impact and slashed out with his dagger. It was all Neronin could do to block the strike. But his masterwork dagger was knocked from his hand as he did so.

Neronin began to back up to where the haunts had tore Colum apart. The mage was grinning now, walking towards him. Neronin watched his hands warily.
word count: 676
User avatar
Neronin
Posts: 411
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:34 pm
Race: Human
Profession: Mage
Renown: 210
Character Sheet
Plot Notes
Personal Journal
Templates
Wealth Tier: Tier 5

Featured

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Miscellaneous

Re: Motive

Image


“It is foolish to attack superior numbers.” The mage said, panting heavily. “Though Colum is dead, I am still here and you have no one.”

Neronin reached out with both his hand and his ether. He could sense the mangled and fractured body of Colum, the tissue and the bone. He sensed the wet blood pooling below and inside the corpse. It was his to wield. His ether fused with what had once been called Colum. In life he had been a man, in death he was the clay Neronin crafted with. Nothing more.

The bones fused and the blood boiled. The tissue hardened and spiraled up. Neronin transformed the corpse to his needs. His hand clasped around the shaft of the newly crafted bone spear. He jerked his arm forward and the weapon ripped free from the mess of flesh. He stepped forward and lunged the jagged spear into the mage’s belly. It had all taken only a few heartbeats.

The mage gasped and Neronin put his weight behind the spear. His enemy fell to the damp Underground floor and Neronin released the spear. Neronin squatted next to the man and pressed the palm of his hand against the wound. The mage cried out.

“Tell me what she had you doing? Why does she reinforce the guard on the city?” Neronin asked in a calm voice. The man just stared up at him. “Tell me and I will ease your passing.” He leaned into the wound.

“She is...” the man gasped, grabbing weakly at Neronin’s arm. “Collecting children... I do not know... why.”

“Children?” Neronin’s mind raced through the admittedly narrow field of magic that he did know. Nothing in necromancy, abrogation, rupturing, nor even his rudimentary knowledge of alchemy called for materials of human children. At least not explicitly.

“What happens with the children?” He asked.

“I don’t know. She just-“ But the man began coughing blood and his eyes faded out of focus. Neronin in hastily reached down to stem the flow of blood, but found the mage had lost too much. He was dying and his usefulness had depleted.

Neronin stood and pulled the bone spear from him, tossing it back over his shoulder. Then he collected his dagger. The spark released a surge of pleasure as Neronin reached out with his mind and animated the recently dead mage. The husk shambled to it’s feet and moved to follow him.

The necromancer lead his newest thrall along the corridor, lost in thought. As he walked he redoubled his Muting spell. Who knew what new dangers came to Etzos with Sintra.

word count: 439
User avatar
Strange
Prophet of Old
Posts: 1105
Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2019 1:43 pm
Race: Undead (Ghost)
Renown: 999
Character Sheet
Templates
Point Bank Thread
Wealth Tier: Tier 1

Contribution

Milestones

RP Medals

Staff

Re: Motive


Image
Thread Review

Neronin

Neronin
Skill Points: +10 (can be used for magic)
Magic XP: Yes (Abrogation or Rupturing or Necromancy)

Renown: None.

Injuries/Overstepping: Some light overstepping, through the Abrogation Spark, he'll deal with some nausea and dizziness for about three trials.
Wealth Points: None
Loot: None

Skill Knowledge:
  • Necromancy: Corpse Molding: Crafting a spear
  • Abrogation: Nemesis: Water Defiance
  • Abrogation: Barrier: Angling to divert force
  • Abrogation: Muting used to stay incognito
  • Discipline: Controlling two sparks in tandem
  • Rupturing: Using portals to maneuver around a battle
Non-Skill Knowledge:
  • Immortal: Sintra
  • Sintra: Leader in Etzos
  • Sintra: Collecting Children?
  • Location: Dogged Limb
Notes: A good portion of the first post's text got repeated in the second post.

Please consider if it comes up again, adding that the plot/mage NPCs got approved by the city mod in the Notes/Warnings section to avoid having to wait for a check on that.

On the Wealth Skill, there didn't seem to be any way that money was made, even though the Wealth Skill was used, so it wouldn't count for additional WP.

Consider adding some skill points to Tactics, Combat: Blades, and Combat: Unarmed; or to similar skills.

Skills Used: Necromancy: Master, Rupture: Master, Abrogation: Competent, Blades-Dagger: like zero.
Skill Review:
Magic is Appropriate to level.
Mild-Moderate Overplay of Tactics (0-unranked).
Mild Overplay of Unarmed Combat (acknowledged in use of words like "clumsy" and not succeeding entirely, but still used more than a 0-unranked stat in it).

The evocative atmosphere set through the descriptions of the Underground set up an engaging story here. Epic, given how it involved mages, and not only that but higher level mages who knew how to fight and also work for an Immortal like Sintra. That Neronin has gotten powerful, but still maintains caution serves as a great sense of his personality and perspective.

Not only that, but Neronin uses his magic in a tactical and precise approach. Using the Rupture portal underneath the man's feet, and things like that, very interesting and also fun to read! I appreciated the descriptions of the specific spells (like Sap), they came across as both engaging and clear through the use of metaphor (such as with the constitution of warriors/farmers/etc). Also, impressive how he went from Rupturing to Necromancy to Abrogation with hardly a beat missed of channeling his ether through each spark. Neronin came across as highly proficient in magical combat!

Also, liked the use of "heartbeats" as a literary form of keeping time instead of saying "trills" or "a moment" or something like that. Overall, a very well-written and entertaining fight that uniquely included a lot of different magical techniques but felt seamless and suitable to Neronin's character.

Great job and enjoy your rewards!

PM me if you have any questions, issues or concerns.

Total Word Count: 2,517 words.
Review Request Link: viewtopic.php?p=149040#p149040
stampcodehere

word count: 492
Post Reply Request an XP Review Claim Wealth Thread

Return to “Western: Etzos”