Name: Freya
Knowledge:
Arbiter Crew: Untrustworthy
Common: Sentence structure
Location: Ne’haer
Location: The Arbiter
Ne’haer: Slavery free
Slaves: Deserve respect
Wendell: Slave
Wendell: Slave tattoo of your clan
Wendell: Hates you
Wendell: Gets seasick
Wendell: Scares you
Wendell: Complainer
Wendell: Makes you angry
Wendell: Ungrateful
Wendell: “Bartender”
Wendell: Companion
Wendell: Attractive
Wendell: Hard to trust
Wendell: Makes a lot of nel
Wendell: Will suffer because of tattoo
Loot: Please deduct the cost of Rhakahi to Common from your ledger if you haven’t: -10gn
Injuries: Body aches that will last 4 trials
Cheek bruise that will fade in 7 trials
Fame: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
Name: Freya
Knowledge:
Arbiter destination: Rhakros
Strength: Pull Ups
Strength: Push Ups
Strength: Sit Ups
Freya: Scab, thief, pirate, scum
Freya: Trying to protect you
Freya: Speaks broken Common
Freya: Captain?
Freya: Promises to return you to Rharne
Freya: Small chested
Freya: Attractive
Freya: Was a barmaid
Freya: From Ne'haer
Gorroc: Bully
Cosmetology: Whore bath
Cosmetology: Brushing teeth is essential
Location: Freya’s Private Chambers
Location: Ne’haer
Location: The Arbiter
Ne’haer: Slavery free
Rose: Will miss you
Seafaring: Fish is the available meat
Seafaring: Changes your body
Seafaring: Seasickness
Seafaring: Hygiene is difficult
Slavery: Mark comes with consequences
Loot: Toothbrush, soap, apples, your clothes, small knife
Injuries: Wrist burns that will heal in 15 trials
Headaches that will fade in 2 trials
Seasickness that will fade in 2 trials
Fame: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
Comment:
Excellent thread! I really enjoy the tension between these two characters. They kind of despise each other but at the same time they kind of like each other and they are definitely stuck with each other.
Freya, your writing flows really well and your descriptions are lovely. I really like the life you bring to Freya, she has a wonderfully complex personality. There were a few minor structure errors, but nothing abnormal. Small things like missing commas or extra ones.
Wendell, I love your descriptions and your writing is always very easy to read and enjoy. Wendell is starting to show some of the more complex aspects of his personality and I really enjoyed reading it. Very few structure issues here and there- just a few things I noticed that could have been autocorrect mistakes.
Knowledge:
Arbiter Crew: Untrustworthy
Common: Sentence structure
Location: Ne’haer
Location: The Arbiter
Ne’haer: Slavery free
Slaves: Deserve respect
Wendell: Slave
Wendell: Slave tattoo of your clan
Wendell: Hates you
Wendell: Gets seasick
Wendell: Scares you
Wendell: Complainer
Wendell: Makes you angry
Wendell: Ungrateful
Wendell: “Bartender”
Wendell: Companion
Wendell: Attractive
Wendell: Hard to trust
Wendell: Makes a lot of nel
Wendell: Will suffer because of tattoo
Loot: Please deduct the cost of Rhakahi to Common from your ledger if you haven’t: -10gn
Injuries: Body aches that will last 4 trials
Cheek bruise that will fade in 7 trials
Fame: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
Name: Freya
Knowledge:
Arbiter destination: Rhakros
Strength: Pull Ups
Strength: Push Ups
Strength: Sit Ups
Freya: Scab, thief, pirate, scum
Freya: Trying to protect you
Freya: Speaks broken Common
Freya: Captain?
Freya: Promises to return you to Rharne
Freya: Small chested
Freya: Attractive
Freya: Was a barmaid
Freya: From Ne'haer
Gorroc: Bully
Cosmetology: Whore bath
Cosmetology: Brushing teeth is essential
Location: Freya’s Private Chambers
Location: Ne’haer
Location: The Arbiter
Ne’haer: Slavery free
Rose: Will miss you
Seafaring: Fish is the available meat
Seafaring: Changes your body
Seafaring: Seasickness
Seafaring: Hygiene is difficult
Slavery: Mark comes with consequences
Loot: Toothbrush, soap, apples, your clothes, small knife
Injuries: Wrist burns that will heal in 15 trials
Headaches that will fade in 2 trials
Seasickness that will fade in 2 trials
Fame: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
Comment:
Excellent thread! I really enjoy the tension between these two characters. They kind of despise each other but at the same time they kind of like each other and they are definitely stuck with each other.
Freya, your writing flows really well and your descriptions are lovely. I really like the life you bring to Freya, she has a wonderfully complex personality. There were a few minor structure errors, but nothing abnormal. Small things like missing commas or extra ones.
Wendell, I love your descriptions and your writing is always very easy to read and enjoy. Wendell is starting to show some of the more complex aspects of his personality and I really enjoyed reading it. Very few structure issues here and there- just a few things I noticed that could have been autocorrect mistakes.