• Information • The House of Venora

[Pegasus]

Post 1: History

Quote: Saintivelle.
This led me to "what is the/ a Saintivelle" question. Which is answered lower down. I see absolutely no reason why Venora would be the "spymaster" house? This isnt born out in RP, at all. In fact a search on the boards finds references to them only in the following:
A WIP in 2017.
A 2017 Thread where they are mentioned in passing as something Ali thinks about.
Then it's 2 IC threads in Quacia in February this year. Again - talked about, nothing more.

This group will need a separate write up and will need major discussion as to it's allegiance (if any).


Para 1:
In the approved history, Verne Andaris died from wounds in 202. The Sheor article talks about it very differently - and in a more confused timeline - but gives no mention of how Verne Andaris died. We can't have some information in one place, different in another - and a new bit of information here. You need ONE, factual timeline. And it needs to be consistent.
This whole premise is not borne out in the history.
Aim to keep this stuff factual, so in this para - lose the purple prose / opinion words - things like "legendary loyalty" become "loyalty".
Lose the last sentence "So great was the loyalty of Cyrene that - upon her final moment - she willingly drank from a cup of poison, to warn her husband of the treachery of his cabal of courtiers. " - it's not in line with the history.

Para 2:
"But these values were not always ascribed to the House of Venora, a House that existed long before Rynmere; a family native to the western coastline of the Kingdom of Sheor, ruling over the great lands of Marsoleine." - cut down to factual. Which is - they are an old family hailing from the Kingdom of Sheor. Marsoleine exists literally nowhere in the lore - lose it.

"Before, and even during the lifetime of Cyrene, the House was known as a source of haunting enigma. It was said then that the Venora were cursed with beauty and vainglory by An Galeth, a duplicitous deity of the Sheoran paganism." - purple prose - not needed.

"For this reason, the Venora of Sheor wore masques to conceal their faces, sparing the common men from their haunting beauty -- and concealing the machinations of the cunning God they so dutifully served." - all this Sheor stuff belongs in the Sheor article, not here. But again, this is not mentioned in the Sheor write up, other than to say that An Galeth wears a mask. A whole family of mask-wearing people seems a little odd to me.

Para 3:
None of this is giving any additional information, just giving opinions. Lose it.

Para 4:
Ok. So.
"But to understand the history of Venora, one must know of the two great pillars of the House; the Founder, and Mother . . . separated by two gulfs of history, yet conjoined in their pragmatism and bold natures. These two individuals were Antonaris, and Cyrene." - the History of Venora is based around two people; Antonaris and Cyrene. Remember - you are writing this to INFORM people, and need to keep it straightforward, clear, non-purple-prose.
And who is Antonaris!?
A search for this person across the boards shows that this name is mentioned in two threads. This one, and the Sheor one - where he's mentioned once. Need to keep this accurate. Lose him.

Ok. I'm going to ask you to go through this - lose the purple prose - and make it factual.

The next few paragraphs - the portrayal of Cyrene as a spymaster - thus making Venora a house which provides intelligence to all the others - is not in the lore or history and will need re-writing. None of this has been written in any approved lore / used by a mod that I'm aware of. If I'm wrong there, please provide links. I'm going to stop now, after post 1 - but I suggest the following:

1. Re-write with an aim to lose purple prose. Remember the function of this document is to provide information, which needs to be clear and specific.
2. I would suggest that you (all) have a single, central timeline and a simple rule. NOTHING is named / dated in any other write up unless it's there. Therefore, that timeline should be created first.
3. Any NPC needs a clear write up and approved history.

Hope that's helpful!