All of his words and all of his thought put into their meaning wasn't anything he just blatantly said, at least not compared to the usual cocky humor that Patrick liked to project. No. They were an expression of the genuine affection he felt for him, something that never really died even throughout the Arc. Buried somewhere deep down inside him sure, but never did those feelings he once had go away. Now that Alistair, or Keiran, was quite literally back into his arms though, there was no need to keep such strong and innate feelings tucked away.
Albeit it was never easy to show them like this either. As much as he would've wanted to back then, he could never come to cope with feelings at all. Mostly because sorrow and misery were the first he easily recognized, not this intimate and deep profound love that still lingered. After being so isolated for so long however, one could easily determine that they neglected to consider what they had. And that was exactly how Patrick lived. Every waking moment spent alone save for his secret companion, that was never really visible to anybody but Patrick. Even then he still felt a loneliness inside nothing could replace, not even the large amounts of booze he liked to down; when the pain was too much to bear alone some nights.
Now however there did seem to be something worth holding onto, and that something rested right within his arms at this particular moment. Patrick considered himself the better fool for never realizing it sooner. When he warned of the bowl of course Alistair eagerly reacted, insisting that he'd finish the stew with a vacant smile on his face. Patrick laughed. Even after they were busy spilling all their guts out, all their hurt and wretched misery; they could still find reason to laugh and admire one another somehow. He watched the man take in the stew and grinned, another brief kiss placed on his shoulder once Alistair leaned back into him. He had their cups now and one of them held for Patrick to grab, with a few more words to say about his other beloved. Surprisingly however it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, when Pat heard those words leave the mage's lips.
Instead there was a sense of comfort within them, an assurance that he did have someone special. Someone who looked out for him and made him happy, someone that could shoulder the world for him when it proved too heavy. Tears streamed down his face and for a moment Pat just rested his head into the side of Alistair's head, silently listening to the good words the mage had to say about him. Patrick admired him somehow. For someone to effect this man so, it truly had to have been a special sort make that kind of difference. "To Fridgar." He repeated in a whisper as their cups clinked together, a sip to follow as he realized just how insecure he really felt about all this. Pat... had never been clear about his feelings before, and even know just trying to be open about them was hard.
Yet he held a gentle smile to bravely hide away those worrisome thoughts, a chuckle escaped from his lips when his lover proposed a second toast. Not before they had a brief kiss together, a reassuring sign that he wasn't completely too terrible with the emotional support thing. "To keepin' alive." He mused with another final tap of the glass together, before they would both finish off the alcohol within their cups. For just a little while longer however, Patrick kept his head close to his lover's in a quiet but happy mood for once.
Much later after the hardships shared with one another, the conversations were more lighthearted as they went home. Patrick told him about the many escapades he had over the remaining Arc that passed, how he figured out ways to deal with the Sessfiend on his own. How he used a room filled with mirrors at Rharne's Lightning Cathedral to keep it contained, and how he also somehow made an interesting 'acquaintance' after screwing over a drug dealer's shipment. How he managed to meet Ymiden and partake in this game known as The Labyrinth, and his meeting afterwards with Ymiden and Moseke after their failure to carry out the game. And then of course Orimar and all the shenanigans involved with that, practically all of Patrick's previous Arc's experiences were told in one interesting story.
Much of it of course humorous with a bit of suspense where he could throw it in, but overall just the general outline with a few side topics to digress from the stories. Overall the time spent discussing all this helped Patrick reconnect with the man, and sure enough come nightfall they retreated back to Alistair's own abode. Where they'd fall asleep together with Patrick still holding that same dear man within his arms.
Albeit it was never easy to show them like this either. As much as he would've wanted to back then, he could never come to cope with feelings at all. Mostly because sorrow and misery were the first he easily recognized, not this intimate and deep profound love that still lingered. After being so isolated for so long however, one could easily determine that they neglected to consider what they had. And that was exactly how Patrick lived. Every waking moment spent alone save for his secret companion, that was never really visible to anybody but Patrick. Even then he still felt a loneliness inside nothing could replace, not even the large amounts of booze he liked to down; when the pain was too much to bear alone some nights.
Now however there did seem to be something worth holding onto, and that something rested right within his arms at this particular moment. Patrick considered himself the better fool for never realizing it sooner. When he warned of the bowl of course Alistair eagerly reacted, insisting that he'd finish the stew with a vacant smile on his face. Patrick laughed. Even after they were busy spilling all their guts out, all their hurt and wretched misery; they could still find reason to laugh and admire one another somehow. He watched the man take in the stew and grinned, another brief kiss placed on his shoulder once Alistair leaned back into him. He had their cups now and one of them held for Patrick to grab, with a few more words to say about his other beloved. Surprisingly however it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, when Pat heard those words leave the mage's lips.
Instead there was a sense of comfort within them, an assurance that he did have someone special. Someone who looked out for him and made him happy, someone that could shoulder the world for him when it proved too heavy. Tears streamed down his face and for a moment Pat just rested his head into the side of Alistair's head, silently listening to the good words the mage had to say about him. Patrick admired him somehow. For someone to effect this man so, it truly had to have been a special sort make that kind of difference. "To Fridgar." He repeated in a whisper as their cups clinked together, a sip to follow as he realized just how insecure he really felt about all this. Pat... had never been clear about his feelings before, and even know just trying to be open about them was hard.
Yet he held a gentle smile to bravely hide away those worrisome thoughts, a chuckle escaped from his lips when his lover proposed a second toast. Not before they had a brief kiss together, a reassuring sign that he wasn't completely too terrible with the emotional support thing. "To keepin' alive." He mused with another final tap of the glass together, before they would both finish off the alcohol within their cups. For just a little while longer however, Patrick kept his head close to his lover's in a quiet but happy mood for once.
Much later after the hardships shared with one another, the conversations were more lighthearted as they went home. Patrick told him about the many escapades he had over the remaining Arc that passed, how he figured out ways to deal with the Sessfiend on his own. How he used a room filled with mirrors at Rharne's Lightning Cathedral to keep it contained, and how he also somehow made an interesting 'acquaintance' after screwing over a drug dealer's shipment. How he managed to meet Ymiden and partake in this game known as The Labyrinth, and his meeting afterwards with Ymiden and Moseke after their failure to carry out the game. And then of course Orimar and all the shenanigans involved with that, practically all of Patrick's previous Arc's experiences were told in one interesting story.
Much of it of course humorous with a bit of suspense where he could throw it in, but overall just the general outline with a few side topics to digress from the stories. Overall the time spent discussing all this helped Patrick reconnect with the man, and sure enough come nightfall they retreated back to Alistair's own abode. Where they'd fall asleep together with Patrick still holding that same dear man within his arms.
