Knowledge:
Teaching: like someone's life depends on it. Because it does.
Teaching: Encouragement!
Surgery: Tourniquet for lessening blood supply
Surgery: Applying stitches
Surgery: Managing a pierced liver
Philosophy: If you did your best, you didn't fail
Meditation: Clear your mind of bad feelings, they won't help you
Medicine: Use physics to your advantage
Loot:
N/A
Injuries:
N/A
Fame:
+6 (There is no fame for "saving a life", but you saved three, and I gave you double the amount of fame you would've gotten for a general good deed.)
Magic:
These points can NOT be used for Domain Magic
Devotion:
+2 to Famula (pray to Famula x2)
Story:
5/5
Collaboration:
5/5
Structure:
5/5
Knowledge:
Medicine: Treating people in order they need to be treated
Medicine: Keep blood on the inside by pressuring the wound
Medicine: Use physics to your advantage
Psychology: Seeing the inside muscles of a human for the first time isn't pretty
Surgery: Applying stitches
Surgery: Raising or lowering limbs to lessen the bleeding
Surgery: Removing outside objects from the body
Philosophy: Be effective, be efficient, be brave. Faith believes in you.
Philosophy: The oath of revenge
Faith: Can do anything, also talk while doing it
Loot:
N/A
Injuries:
N/A
Fame:
+5 (Same goes as for Faith, but you only saved 2 lives, + one general good deed.)
Magic:
These points can NOT be used for Domain Magic
Devotion:
+10 to Moseke (saved 2 lives)
Story:
5/5
Collaboration:
5/5
Structure:
4/5
Knowledge:
Medicine: Checking for blood and/or cracks in the skull
Medicine: How to treat a head injury
Medicine: Moukou Beans: Just the right dose
Medicine: Making a cast
Medicine: How to
properly place a tourniquet
Poisons: Moukou Beans: Just the wrong dose
Surgery: How to treat a shattered bone
Surgery: Applying stitches
Psychology: Feeling pity for homeless cripples
Peter: The talkative one
Loot:
You put 10 silver nel into the man's boot, please deduct this from your ledger. Thank you!
Injuries:
N/A
Fame:
+7 to Alex(Saving a life, general good deed x2, giving a gift in the form of putting money in the man's boot)
Magic:
These points can NOT be used for Domain Magic
Devotion:
N/A
Story:
5/5
Collaboration:
5/5
Structure:
5/5
General Comment:
I took a bit of a leap there with devotion and fame, the former because, to my knowledge, Symbri was the only one that wanted devotion to Moseke out of you three? (I awarded the Famula ones to Faith 'cause she has Famula's blessing, in case you were wondering) Also, since the fame chart tells nothing of saving a life, I went and doubled the amount of fame you would've gotten for a general good deed. General good deed fames were given for helping the patients that weren't fatally wounded, but still required some help.
Now, away from the seriousness, this thread got me so emotionally invested into every single patient! It felt like I was in the middle of an episode of Grey's Anatomy, if that show was actually about doctors. I just love how calm Faith is, and how, well, uncalm Symbri is, and yet she's too scared, or invested, to go and burst into an argument with Faith. I just feel like Faith is 10 years older than Symbri when I'm reading this thread, it's amazing. And Alex by herself is really fun to read. All that smug, but really she just wants to help. If I had favorites, which I obviously don't, Alex would definitely be one of them. I just love how she interacts with the world around her, in a smuggy, but still nice-ish way.
Story: All very good from all of you! Very well done!
Collaboration: As expected, really nice, I just wished there was more socializing between Alex and the other two, but alas, perfection doesn't exist
Structure: Faith - Really quite good, there were just a couple odd word choices in the first two posts that made me consult google. It all turned out just lovely, as a Brit like yourself would say >>
Vluharqih - All good, no issues here
Symbri - You've had some really small errors, but they kept repeating so I had to take away one point from structure. Some examples would be:
"When she was awoken by
faith it seemed like the first few moments were a blur,(...)" - Capitalization, should be Faith. Unless you meant that she was awoken by her belief in the Immortals? Which I doubt, so, yeah, forget it.
"Quickly fetching the
Suture kit Symbri watched
wide eyed as Faith went to giving orders again unphased by the situation, having her
Hold onto the wound Symbri bit her bottom lip as she touched the man's wound pressing down on it as warm blood welled around her fingers, she'd worked with raw meat before but seeing a human reduced to a similar state was in it's own way mortifying, seeing the muscles that lied beneath one's flesh was mildly disgruntled to say the least." - Several bad capitalizations, should be "suture kit" & "her hold onto the wound" (couldn't find any witty response to this one). It also should be "wide-eyed".
"
watching the woman work without flinching or taking any heed to the viscera she worked in, more than that she was quick and able to talk while she did it, Symbri wondered if she'd ever reach a level where she could do anything and teach it at the same time.
listening to her talk was enchanting in its own sort of way, she just seemed so calm amidst all that was going on, like an
Anchor amidst a maelstrom. " Again, some bad capitalization like random capital letters in the middle of a sentence, and lower-case letters at the beginning.
There were some other errors, as small as these ones or smaller, but I want you to know that all of those are easily fixable by a quick proofread and edit of your posts, and it's nothing to be alarmed about. A wise person once told me that if you're finding editing boring, what you can do is read the text out loud, but in a funny pirate voice! (I've been doing this ever since I heard the advice, I'm not joking
)
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or concerns. I wish you all a marvelous day/night/middle!
