[Haven] More Questions Than Answers...

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 42 Ashan

Elisabeth’s eyes never wavered from Haven as the Element rowboat she was in approached the shore. From the moment the ship she had arrived on had been within sight of the settlement, cerulean eyes glued themselves to the shore, looking for one person.

Ten trials. She was ten trials late coming back to Haven. Ten trials missing from her mind, and she hadn’t a clue how to explain that to Balthazar. She was uneasy about the whole thing but wasn’t even sure how to begin looking for answers. Once she realized what had happened, all she had wanted to do is grab Storm and race back to the settlement as quickly as possible.

Which is exactly what she had done.

Frustrated with his confinement, Storm meowed at her, pawing at the sides of the cage she had for him, intent on keeping him safe during the transfer from ship-to-boat-to-shore. Looking down, she gave him a small smile, letting her finger caress over his exposed paw. “Just a few more minutes and you’ll have an entire settlement to roam.” He, of course, was impatient, looking at the raven-haired mage as though trying to understand what she was telling him, offering up another ‘meow’.

Elisabeth’s nerves were frayed, hands shaking just a bit. Ten trials. She only knew that because when she went back to her inn in Scalvoris Town, they informed her that she had just vanished. Luckily, they were kind people and had kept her things safe in case she returned. Apparently, there had been a weird weather event and they had worried she might have gotten caught up in that. Whatever the case, she was simply happy to have everything back.

From a bit out, she had seen Balder. There was a small amount of commotion before she saw the figure she needed to see – Balthazar. The moment she saw him, her nerves settled. He was there. He was alright. He would help her figure out what had happened.

Elisabeth was home. That was all that mattered. Everything else would figure itself out.

[Balthazar Black]

42 Ashan 721

It had been a difficult ten trials while Elisabeth was gone. The majority of it Haven had been trapped in a deep freeze and Balthazar's house was overcrowded with settlers who'd taken him up on his offer. The number of people made the building warmer which was nice but there was also the odor of many people he was unfamiliar with. The once empty walls seemed to breath now and while many would argue Balthazar had less privacy than ever before, it didn't feel different to him than having the Flame Trooper watching him all the time. Issues arose but nothing violent. One settler didn't like how another had positioned their cot. Another settler thought that they weren't being given a fair number of blankets but Balthazar pointed out he'd given everyone the same number and couldn't stop people from bringing their own. Lots of very petty issues. It seemed, often, that the people of Haven had petty issues.

However when the freeze ended around the 38th of Ashan, the settlers all dispersed back into their own homes and the house began to feel empty again. More time passed and the leader of the settlement did his best to lead while keeping the worries about Elisabeth in the back of his mind. Sometimes things got complicated and trips went longer than planned. He remembered how his trial turned a short trip into more than a thirty trial visit. He had to hope that she was not being delayed by something similar. He had to hope she would be fine and she would come home. Otherwise what was the point of putting up with all of it? If not for Elisabeth and her safety, why go through with the sentence at all? What did Balthazar have to gain by putting up with all the invasions and judgement? Nothing except a home for him and Elisabeth to enjoy and build together.

He would have been the first one on the beach the night she was returning if he hadn't been sitting in his house staring at a blank page in his notebook and trying to come up with a list of things to write to Saoire's Dream about. He wanted teachers, good reliable teachers, who could help improve on the foundation his settlers were building. He wasn't sure exactly who or what to ask for though so he was taking a mental inventory of everything Haven had and everything it needed when one of the settlement guards arrived to tell him about the Element ship on the coast.

Balthazar moved quickly but he did not run as he came down to the beach to investigate the rumor with Tib'ron close behind him. She's back. She's finally back. At long last he would get some answers as to what exactly was going on.

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 42 Ashan

The closer the small boat got to shore, the more unsure the young mage felt about what she was going to say. Her eyes never left Balthazar’s form though, trying to read his expression through the dark.

When the boat was close enough to disembark, a few settlers from Haven stepped forward to stabilize it, and immediately, Balder was there, helping her out of the boat. Once her feet hit the sand, she turned to grab her pack and Storm’s cage, pulling both from the boat, slinging her pack over a shoulder, and walking up the beach. Balder asked no questions, simply helping her and then stepping away so she could greet Balthazar.

She was happy to see him – that would be apparent to anyone watching her, including him – but there was much, much more behind her cerulean eyes. There was a storm there that only he would be able to decipher.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

As she approached him, a loud ‘meow’ slipped free into the night air. “Ohhhhh…sorry, Storm. I promised.” Stopping, she quickly dropped the cage, fingers opening the small door and letting the kitten race out, excited about his new territory. They were on land and safe now, so she wasn’t concerned about him wandering. Storm wouldn’t go far. In fact, he headed straight for Balder, intent on chasing the perplexed man's feet.

Picking up the cage again, she continued towards the man she loved, eyes to his once again. There were too many people around and what she had to say needed to be done privately, or as privately as they could. It would be up to Balthazar to determine how much to share with the Haven guards, although she suspected he would tell them.

Dropping both her pack and the cage, Elisabeth decided in a rare moment of selfishness that she didn’t care about the others right then, sliding her arms around Balthazar’s torso and laying her head against her chest. With eyes closed, she finally allowed words to come in the form of a soft whisper. “I missed you. So much.”

Warning sign number one – Elisabeth rarely forced affection on him like that in public.

Sighing softly, she let her head rise, gazing up at him. “Not here. We need to talk, but not here. Something’s happened.”

[Balthazar Black]

42 Ashan 721

Balthazar watched as Balder moved to help Elisabeth out of the boat with suspicious eyes. Prior to his sentence, he could have reached out to feel her frequency and known that she was Elisabeth and she was unharmed but without magic he was forced to reply purely on his eyes. Eyes failed everyone. If he had relied on only his eyes in Quacia he wouldn't have theorized the connection between wildfire and the Creep nor would he have been able to make the right decisions about those who'd taken the drug. Attunement let him see and deduce and learn but eyes, eyes just saw. It was hard to believe your eyes when you knew there were so many other forms of seeing out there. It was hard to believe she was really back, as much as he'd been waiting for her to return. His mind went to the worst possibilities first. This was not Elisabeth, this was a Yludih or some copy being used to trick him. He convinced himself that it was a trick while Balder helped her out of the boat and Balthazar watched them. He approached with slow, cautious steps to reach Elisabeth and gave only a small glance back to make sure his shadow was behind him.

He wanted so many answers to so many questions, some of which were still coming together in his head, but he didn't ask anything when he reached her. A quiet hand went out, brushed against her shoulder, and fell back to his side. She was there. She was tangible. She was not a ghost. Balthazar looked down at the cat in the cage as she released it and he couldn't help but wonder if it would have been a wiser decision to release the cat once they got into the- oh... the house. She hadn't even seen the house yet. He forgot about the surprise for her in the midst of her vanishing. He watched the cat move towards Balder's feet and thought the cat would have just run away altogether given the number of people, but perhaps the cat was brave. Good. No scared cats in Haven.

When the cat was free Elisabeth did a very Elisabeth thing, disregarding anyone but her own feelings and moving in to hug Balthazar who still watched her with suspicion. When he looked at her he saw worry, he saw that something was wrong, but he did not know what it was. He did not know if he was interpreting her emotions correctly or not because he wasn't even sure it was really her. She said she missed him and he just stood there, being hugged for a few trills before he put an arm around her as well.

"What will going anywhere else change?" Balthazar asked with a look back at the Flame Troopers watching him. Haven, in the beach or in the house, was a small settlement. Word would get around one way or another but if Elisabeth wanted to go somewhere more private than he would take her. "We can talk in the house."

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 42 Ashan

Elisabeth watched Balthazar’s reaction to her with a bit of sadness. Something was wrong with him too. She never expected affection from him but his being wary of her, which was obvious, was beyond what she had experienced before. It hadn’t stopped her from embracing him though, having needed that connection, although the moment she did, the young mage realized the error, breaking her contact as soon as she understood that what she was doing wasn’t helping the situation. Sighing softly, she didn’t say anything in response, turning and picking up her things again slowly.

Wasn’t he happy to see her?

The only thought that had raced through her brain since 'waking', for lack of a better term, in Scalvoris Town had been 'get to Balthazar'. And now that she was there, him right in front of her, her knowing that she was ten trials late, things weren't right and she had no idea what she had done wrong.

Where would going anywhere else change? Well, it would give him more control over the information she was going to tell him, to start? Had she simply blurted the problem out there in front of everyone, that would have been wrong. Apparently wanting privacy was wrong too but she was too tired to point that out. She was just…. tired. And worried. And scared.

But it didn’t matter. The relief at being home slowly began to fade into something else.

It was then that Storm decided her feet were much more viable than Balder’s, running over and swatting at them a bit. They hadn’t been together long but, oddly enough, the kitten seemed to always sense when she needed reassurance in some form. Smiling a bit, she poked at the creature with her foot, letting him capture it for a few trills.

Balthazar mentioned a house. That was the only thing that really made an impression on her. Looking up, she arched an eyebrow gently. “House?” It was all she could think to say.

[Balthazar Black]

42 Ashan 721

Elisabeth seemed to always see two options in a world of possibility and assumed when Balthazar did not agree with her, he was against her. He was suspicious of her when she'd arrived but that had faded. Now he wasn't expressing much of anything. He wanted answers and she wanted privacy that they'd never really have. So they were going to the house that had been built for the two of them. It was no longer overcrowded from the settlers who'd taken him up on his offer during the freeze but every time Balthazar walked through it, he could remember how packed it had been. He could remember the smells and sounds, but he could not hear or smell them again. It was strange. The perfectly preserved memory of a scent and sound rather than a sight.

He heard Elisabeth's voice chime up from beside him as they walked, repeating the word house like it was a question. He nodded. "Moved out of the tent, into a nice three room with small barracks for the guards and a smaller workshop next to it." Balthazar said in a level voice as they walked. He would tell her about how the settlers had complained about the size of his house, but not now. It was the least of the things on his mind. He was disappointed how his surprise had turned out. He was hoping to present it more grandly but in light of all the mystery he was not in the mood for it. Not long later they arrived at the building and Balthazar opened the door for Elisabeth and the Flame Trooper with them. "Welcome home," he said with a small smile and a gesture inside.

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 42 Ashan

A house?

Before she had left, the settlers had all been housed, but Balthazar and herself had still been in their tent. She hadn't minded in the least because she was with him, and to her, that was all that ever mattered.

Following him and the shadow, and Storm following her, they made their way to the structure, cerulean eyes glancing up at it curiously. Of course, she knew they would have a house eventually but with her memory gone and the worry wrapped in figuring that out, Elisabeth really hadn’t thought much about the future. It was odd really because Balthazar had been the one to teach her one should appreciate the now, and yet she was having a hard time doing so, thoughts consumed with how she would tell him of what had happened. It shouldn’t have been hard considering she knew nothing, but for some reason, it worried the young mage.

As they entered the house, she smiled softly, looking around and making sure Storm didn’t wander too far. He welcomed her home, eyes crossing to him, smiling. “It’s wonderful. I’m incredibly happy to be back home…”

Back. And then it was time to tell him what she knew or lack thereof. “I know you want answers, Balthazar, but the truth is, I don’t have them. My memory is gone. “ Visible frustration lined her face, frowning a bit at the inevitable feeling. Who wouldn't be frustrated when so much time was gone from one's mind?

Setting down her things, Elisabeth slowly walked over to where he was, finding his eyes with hers. “I remember getting on the Element ship, but as the journey wore on, my memory starts fading out. The next thing I knew, I was in the middle of Scalvoris Town, ten trials later. No explanation. No nothing. I remember everything before the crossing and after that point, but nothing between. I picked up Storm, made another stop, and came racing back to Haven as soon as I could. I wanted to be back here with you.”

Desperately wishing there was something else to say, her eyes flickered to the shadow, always aware of their presence but her focus was on Balthazar, waiting to see what he thought of her predicament.

[Balthazar Black]

42 Ashan 721

With everyone inside, including the little furry four legged creature that was not a caudori and therefore not incredibly interesting to Balthazar, the former mage cast one last glance out at the settlement before shutting the door to the house. Balthazar crossed the large open room to the door on the right side of the back wall, opening it and crossing into the bedroom without a word while Elisabeth spoke of how incredibly happy she was to be home. He returned from the room a few moments later, noticing Elisabeth had set her stuff down in the open 'meeting' room. "The bedroom is in here," He said with a small gesture for her to bring her things over before moving across the room again to help her move them. She kept talking, and he figured it was because she was nervous. Elisabeth, and a few other people he'd met, talked a lot more when they were nervous than when they were calm.

She claimed to know that he would want answers and then promptly crushed any hope of him receiving those answers. He did not display any signs that it bothered him. In fact everything about his expression was level. Too level. It was like imitating Doran's lack of expressions. He had discipline, even if he chose to let anger get the better of him in his trial. Circumstances were different then. He was a piece of hot metal thrust into a quenching tank then, now he was already tempered. He knew what anger would get him. He knew what anger would take from him. So he said, "Memory is a difficult thing. Hit a man in the head hard enough and he might forget who hit him." Balthazar mused as he set her things on their bed and took a slow breath. "If we can't fix it, we move on." He said in a stern yet calm voice as his eyes lingered on the bed. Memory did not just disappear. Eight trials did not just go away. The last time Balthazar's memory had been impaired, it was due to the actions of immortals. The Mummer's Ball. Yeva. This time, he did not want to know. Elisabeth was back, as long as it really was her he would be content.

"Losing ten trials must have been jarring. I don't know how I'd manage if I lost ten breaks. How are you holding up?"

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 42 Ashan

Arching her eyebrow a bit as he pointed out the bedroom, she simply followed as he showed her where they would sleep. Watching as he put her things on the bed, Storm followed the pair, sitting down by Balthazar’s feet, curiously looking at the man as the pair spoke.

He liked to fix things, the man she loved. There had been no expectation of them being able to do anything about her memory though. Elisabeth simply wanted to be with him and express how she felt about it, which he allowed her to do with his remark. “Frustrated.“ It was the one word that encapsulated everything she felt about the experience. “I woke up, and my first thought was to get to you. Initially, I was worried that something horrible had happened, but then I kept looking around at everyone going on with their daily business and realized it was just me. “

There had been a moment of clarity within that confusion that resonated with her, and it contained a confession she needed to make to him. “I remember, awhile back, I told you that nothing would ever keep me from coming home to you. I foolishly told you that I believed in that, and you tried to explain to me that there are things bigger than both of us in the universe.”

Sighing softly, the young mage sat down on the bed, eyes flicking to Balthazar, voice soft.

“I’m scared something almost kept me from getting back to you…”

Elisabeth had never admitted fearing anything to him before. Nervous, worried…perhaps. Scared was something different. They hadn’t even discussed that term in light of their detainments in Cylus, even though she had been. She bore the scars of that experience and had become stronger for it.

“Part of me wants to know what happened, but the other part….maybe I don’t.”

[Balthazar Black]

42 Ashan 721

Balthazar wanted to leave it alone and move on. He wanted to ignore it. That was what he always did and it had always seemed to work out for him... only maybe it didn't. His hands subconsciously rubbed the paradigm around his wrists. What did everyone else do? He couldn't help but wonder, when faced with Elisabeth's fear, how anyone else would have responded. He even wondered what the shadow would have done in his shoes but none of them would ever be in his shoes. He had a uniquely Balthazar way of stumbling into things. He shifted over to the bed and sat down beside Elisabeth. A few moments later he took her hand in his own and squeezed it gently. He held it then and looked at her while she reminded him of their old conversations. He still believed what he'd said then but he didn't want to remind her of that now. She didn't need that. He didn't know what she needed so he chose to be himself and he fixed what he could. He squeezed her hand again.

"It doesn't matter." His voice was firm but still kind, "You're back, you're here with me." He gave her a smile but it was similar to the ones he'd given shortly after his trial. Still, it was a smile. "Things may drive us apart, it happens, but just because we are stronger together does not mean we are weak alone. Act, don't worry, solve whatever problem pulls you away and get home. Whatever happened, you got home." And that had to be good enough for them.