• Solo • Bottoms Up

[Patrick]

Ymiden 1 717, Noon

Location: Pat's Apartment

So it had been done. Patrick went out earlier this morning and purchased a safe at the bank of Rharne, decided it was time he found a place to store his personal shit. More or less things that Pat felt were necessary to keep hidden away, until a time would come where he should need them out again. They were safer there anyways than in his apartment, so the only thing left to do was indulge in something that would drown out his sorrows. He'd asked Daveth if he could have the day to himself, likely would do the same with Rose later, and been given that time due to personal issues.

Yes. Daveth knew a bit about what went on, about how Pat's recent relationship pretty much crashed and burned, about the dangerous pet that he supposedly had... which gave him the bite to begin with. Then of course there was just stress in general, every time Pat came home to be alone he still felt insecure with the place. Maybe it had been due to the fact Kar had came inside and nearly killed him once, or maybe it had been due to the fact this place held some fond memories...

Now though? Pat just wanted all that to just stop bothering him, to just go away for one day and allow him time to think. Thus after he went and deposited those things at the bank, the unusual sundial thingy included, Pat made his stop at the Boar and then bought himself a couple of favors to help ease the mind. Once he entered his home once more the bartender sat both bottles of whiskey on the table, his gaze shifted to the cupboard where he'd considered getting a glass to drink out of. But why bother though? He bought these two drinks for himself after all, so really they only needed to be drunk... by himself.

All alone... Rei couldn't drink at all, that's for damn sure at least. The little fairy would definitely kill over fast from even sipping the stuff. He sighed as this only led him to remember how alone he really felt, the cork of the first bottle popped with a pull from the lip. Without a trill to spare he went all in for the first drink, the bottle in a high tilt as the liquidated fire burned his tongue and throat. He took deep heavy breathes through his nose as he continued to drink, pushed past the sensation of burning he felt within the act of drinking. He made it about halfway through the bottle until he finally gave in, and tilted it back down to allow himself to breathe a little easier.

He exhaled and shortly afterwards belched a good ten trills, the second bottle grabbed as he moved from the table to his bed next. Simply put he placed the second bottle down on the floor, while he laid on his mattress with the opened one rested on his chest. Patrick had a lot to think about really. A lot to cool off from, to mellow out with or whatever the appropriate term was. Truth be told he'd felt ready to give in, become same old self destructive Patrick. The one that cared for nothing more than booze, sex, and money. All because of how well things had gone to shit last season.

[Patrick]

Two breaks in and he managed to drink about a third of the first bottle. Patrick had done nothing but lay in bed the entire time. He wouldn't admit it openly but right about now, obviously, he'd pretty much done nothing but moped over it all. He thought back to where he was in the Dust Quarter, where his mother died and eventually brother too. The thought of them led him to another brief drink, he was determined to go slower after that first act of stupidity earlier. Or was it pure genius? No. Consumption of alcohol was best done over time, otherwise it just didn't sit well in the gut.

It was then Patrick realized that he missed them. Dearly. His mother... well she'd definitely have words for him now, as well as his brother quite honestly. But he wondered something; what would they say? If they knew everything he'd been busy with, from last arc up til now, then what advice would they have to give for him? What support would they show? Dominek was a Lightning Knight but he was more dedicated as an older brother, always watching out for Patrick's safety as usual. So what now? What would he say or do? Would he encourage Patrick? Would Elinora truly disprove of his drinking session?

Or would she condone it and join him? He looked at the bottle in his hand and considered. She was always good to them when they were just boys, and she never got to see them grow into the men they became eventually... would she be proud? Would she provide encouragement? Pat looked up to the ceiling of his apartment next, another sigh parted from his lips as he tilted the bottle into his mouth once more. It had been a brief but slow drink, as he allowed the burn that commenced to fizzle on its way down. It honestly didn't hurt as bad as before, which probably meant he'd drank enough by now. He certainly felt a bit hammered anyways...

So what about Wendell and Rei? The two were likely happy with one another, off in their own private world away from this place. Good for them. He figured in thought as he quickly swept that matter under the rug. No point in dwelling on that, since he'd already done plenty of that for the past few seasons. He remembered his feelings for Rei mostly and then began to think... who was the first person he'd ever really cared about? Outside his family actually. Wasn't it... Lexi? Yeah. Alexandra Beurnen was her name when they'd met, but Pat always called her Lexi because he liked it. Liked her even, a lot more than any other girl he'd met.

Then again she... well she broke him in to say the least, introduced him to that kind of world to begin with. Then of course after considering finally becoming a couple, she decided to run out and skip town on him. Another horrible failure for him, it left a bitter taste in his mouth that he needed another sip for. It felt hard to choke down the fact he had the worst luck with relationships, and he even began to think that it was because of Lexi that he was so terrible. When he thought more about it, Lexi had been the one he fell for. Heavily in fact. But she had different ideals than he did, so when she decided she wanted to leave Rharne... he stayed behind. Why? Why not go with her?

Was it because of Dominek? No... Dom could take care of himself well enough, and Pat would've kept in touch otherwise. No... Pat felt scared at the time, or so he came to consider. There was a lot of uncertainty involved with her, that he couldn't decide to go with when she finally had the chance to leave. That there had to be the biggest mistake of his life, and therefore the downfall of his capacity for commitment in relationships. So how did that work out for others? Wendell and Rei had their own thing going on, so naturally Pat just became a mere item. An obstacle quite really. That's how he felt anyways, nothing more than just someone they could call upon later. Friend maybe? The idea seemed palpable but... as of now it felt as hollow as the hole in his heart.

Patrick looked at the bottle once more and found that only an eighth remained. His lips curved into a somber smile that only remained brief, as he killed what was left of the first bottle and then tossed it aside once drained. The empty glass clinked against the floor of his apartment for a bit, while he already reached down and opened the second one.

[Patrick]

He must've dozed off some once he'd taken a sip out of his second, because when he opened his eyes the lighting changed. Had the sun already begun to set? Oh well. What's a few breaks lost gonna do to him, when he's clearly got enough on his plate as is. Last he recalled he'd thought back on his family, then Lexi, then Wendell and Rei... Ugh, Ilaren save him. Last thing he needed to think about was him. Just another example of how perfectly Patrick could fuck up with relationships. Needless to say he certainly did feel something for a little bit... Now he wasn't sure if he wanted to anymore. The way things are now, he felt that anything more would just over-complicate it.

Quite honestly he did begin to wonder, though he didn't want to, if Alistair found himself happier with the guy. The two were getting married apparently, so he must've found something better in him than Patrick. The bottle tilted to pour a couple shots worth down, his arm dangled off the bed as he still held the bottle firmly. He felt hurt from these thoughts, these wonders that continued to occupy his mind. Deep down he still really cared but... just had the poorest way of showing it. Or so he surmised anyhow. Patrick didn't know what he could do about that really, change was something difficult for him to find in himself these days. Just look at him now, back in his apartment alone... drinking alone... always alone at the end of the day...

"Sod it." He sighed with a rise from his bed, once he tried to get onto his feet however; he found that the room spun quite erratically. Before he found his equilibrium Pat sunk back onto the bed with a murmured "shit," his mind in a vivid whirl while the world looked to be swimming. He didn't take into account how drunk he'd be at this rate, even so it still didn't feel enough to drown out the emotions he felt. Pat hated feeling them now. He wanted to feel nothing, to no longer be bothered with these complicated thoughts he had. And to top it off he was not only a drunken failure at romance, but a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off thanks to Her. The bitch which had decided to bite him, to make him into some kind of monster all for her... amusement.

Even now he felt like a danger to himself, and no amount of alcohol could wipe away that feeling. He done tried. Just like tonight and still no clear results, just a drunken blur from a wasted effort like usual. He wondered then... what if things turned out differently that night. Sure enough he would still probably be drunk off his ass, unable to go anywhere because of how heavily he drank. But he would be less of a monster by then, less of a threat to everyone and just to himself. That's how he liked it, in fact that's actually how he preferred it. Nights like this he could be flat out drunk and not care, only to wake up later and resume what life had waiting.

This curse he had however changed that. Not only did he prove a threat to himself, but to those who were around him as well. He was almost volatile lately and that aggression only helped in regards to work, particularly at the Harlot where he spent most his nights working. But in general? He basically was just an abomination waiting to go off, a freak with no control over his primal form... Syroa certainly had one nasty bite when it came to her curses. This led him to believe that Immortals, in general, were just things he never wanted to associate with. He'd met Jesnine who was Mortalborn, if he recalled correctly, but Twinkle-cheeks was different and therefore not Immortal.

Patrick looked at the damage done now and saw he was already just above half the bottle, a scoff came out drunkenly as he laid back onto the bed. He clearly wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

[Patrick]

So what did that mean then? Well being a danger to all around you wasn't fun at all, but that basically just meant he had to manage somehow. Learn to control it until he could find answers, hopefully lift this cursed affliction he'd been given. As for his 'friends'? Clearly he needed to stay away from them for a while, and not because he was a monster deep down. In general he needed to avoid them for a time, even if the number of friends seemed few to him. Even now they felt fewer and farther than where he was an arc ago.

He had to face it though, the reality that both sides were better off this way. Why bother them when they had things working out for them? They had their own share of problems to handle after all, and he definitely had his to consider as well; therefore the best solution he came up with was to leave it all be. Let them do whatever they want, while he just linger here and be miserable. Wait... was he miserable. He swirled the bottle as it looked somewhere between a half and a third full. Or was it between half and a third empty? Ugh. Now wasn't the time to ponder such things, Patrick was too drunk to care about that shit.

But not enough to stop caring. The guy laid on his bed still with eyes up to the dark above, the light outside dimmed to practically nothing now through his windows. Was he hungry? No. He was drunk. Therefore his mind felt simple, even if it still ran at high speeds. "...Well shit..." He lazily murmured as he turned over to place the bottle down, Patrick sluggishly tugged at his shirt to remove it, this of course proved a bit of a challenge until he finally slipped it his head through. He then rested on his stomach to feel a bit more comfortable, in the event he suddenly felt like vomiting in his sleep, he would be covered at least should it come to pass.

He knew though. Deep down there wasn't going to be anything good out of this, merely dropping his concerns for the few he cared about? The idea felt impossible now. Maybe after a few more drinks... "Ugh..." He didn't have it in him for any more, just an appetite for self loathing as he remained comfortable on his bed. But was he comfortable? It became very hard to tell, since he no longer had any indication of which way was up and which was down. He sighed again while his eyes drowsily closed, an arm brought up to rest underneath the pillow for his head. Patrick definitely went a little heavy on the alcohol today, and now he felt it take its toll on him to need sleep.

Could he figure out things tomorrow? Maybe. After finishing what he started with bottle number two. For now he just gave up and decided to slip into a drunken coma, where he'd sleep hard and heavy until come the time he felt sober enough to walk.

[Alistair]

claimed

[Alistair]

Patrick

Knowledge
Resistance: Building Up A Tolerance to Alcoholic
Endurance: Drinking Two Whiskey Bottles Alone
Endurance: Attempting to Move When Wasted
Meditation: Dwelling On Past Events
Personal: A Self-Destructive Loner
Personal: Missing the Ones You Love

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: N/A
Devotion: N/A

Points: 10

Comments: If you have any questions, comments or concerns, please let me know.