He was distracted, not like himself. Normally, he wouldn't be able to pass up such a good opportunity to torment her. Whether he believed the torment to be true or not, that didn't matter. So long as it was good enough for them to tease each other, then it was good enough. She missed it, Vega realised; missed
them. Still, he just needed time and she just had to be there for him. Part of which, she believed, was to talk about Nella. He certainly became more grounded, more
there and paying attention when they did speak about her. What he said provoked a grin and when he shot back that of
course she snored, Vega chuckled. She thumped him, too, because that was important and part of who they were, so she gave him what she considered a gentle pat.
"Cheeky." Yet, there was a sting in it for her. Whatever that was a pang of, she ignored it and grinned at him.
The shrine was very Cassion but Arlo seemed distracted again, wanting some time on his own.
"A'right. I'll grab up some wood from nearby. We'll need that," she said and moved to do that. He joined her fairly quickly, and she nodded. Once he'd started the fire, he just sat and stared at it and Vega watched him and tried not to worry but failed. It hadn't been long, yet he seemed to be going further and further inwards. There were a hundred thoughts going through her head when Arlo shook his and said that he wanted to tell her something. something that had, apparently, been on his mind for a while. Vega looked at him and nodded.
"A'right. Wassup?" she sat and listened to him.
"Lied? About what?" Vega leaned forwards and then sat back. She heard it all, everything that he said, but Vega processed it in two parts. The first bit was very much first and it was that which she reacted to.
"I bloody well knew it you steaming ass." When she looked at him her eyes were flecked with crimson and turquoise.
"Why'd you lie to me? I thought we were friends. Arlo, I'm only ever gonna wish you good luck an' hope you're happy." Though quite why she was upset, she didn't know or didn't want to think about. She felt tears prickling in her eyes and so she focused on the angry rather than anything else, yet still the tears remained and she wiped them away, angrily but more of them appeared. Then, of course, she started thinking. When they'd talked about it, he'd done this whole thing of they went where they went together.
"Oh, you... " he'd said more, but Vega wasn't thinking about that yet and frankly, she didn't care. It was almost certainly more of the same. Anger bubbled in her at what she was realising and she grabbed her bedroll and threw it at him. Hard. She wasn't a bad shot, must be said.
"I've done this, come 'ere cos I thought you needed to get back to normal, an' I've been worried sick about you. You're all distracted an' I thought it was cos of your mum, but it's not, it's cos you wanna be off with someone else. Jus' go if that's what you want, I don't care. Jus' go an' be with who you want to be with. What?"
Vega would be the first to admit that she wasn't academically bright and her way of thinking was not logical. But he'd said all these things, and then said more things and there were just a lot of words but then there were the last words. It was her? Why didn't he say that
first? She couldn't sit down, that meant being still so she stood and she paced.
"I.. me?" Vega breathed in, turned and walked to him, then sat on the log next to him.
"It's us, an' we're best friends." There was no doubting that, or at least she hoped there wasn't.
"But why didn't you start with that end bit? I thought you were tellin' me that we're not gonna be together no more" She couldn't hide the emotions she felt and suddenly, a half-dozen or more apparently unrelated memories fell in on her and Vega's eyes swirled in confusion.
"You threw me out cos you wanted me to stay in there with you?" Vega looked at him and her frown had never been deeper.
"That's bass ackwards, innit? Mind you this is you we're talkin' about, I s'pose. A'right, well. Let me tell you where I'm at." Soon as she worked it out, he'd be the first to know, she thought. But then, she took his hand like she had that trial he'd found out about his mother. Then, he'd yanked his hand away, out of her grasp like she'd burned him.
"I'm afraid. Of two things, I guess. First, that if we mess this up, then we mess us up, an' I love us." She was trying really hard to be clear, here, but it was tricky.
"I 'ate the idea of there bein' a girl at the university. Or anywhere. It makes me wanna find her an' pound her face in jus' cos she's breathin' and clever and beautiful. An' she probably speaks proper too. But I could pound her face in just for bein'." She'd pictured what she'd do but Vega thought now probably wasn't the best time to tell him. Or ever, really. 'Love me, I'm a psychopath' probably wasn't endearing. Instead, she squeezed his hand and stood again, needing to move, to pace.
Because there was that second fear. That was a different thing.
"But, Arlo, 'ow long have you been feelin' this? Cos, you know, you're in grief an' it does weird things. It's not long since your mama died an' your emotions are all over the place. An," she didn't know quite how to say this. It was probably better coming from someone else, anyone else. Someone eloquent or able to string together sentences.
"An' I don't wanna 'urt you, an' I don't wanna 'urt me." Her eyes were a half dozen different colours each when she spoke.
"Cos you know, if you're grievin' an' just feelin' weird, tha's fine. We just need to know, 'cos I wanted to pound your non-existent girlfriend long before yer mother died." Sitting back down next to him she took stock of her emotions. She was still angry at him, she realised and her voice shook with the emotions which she was feeling.
"I don't know whether to thump you or kiss you, you idiotic man. I thought you were leavin', Arlo. Why didn't you start with it's me?" In the end, she went with both options, simultaneously. Her punch was not gentle at all, but when she kissed him, it was as fierce as she ever was and she was loathe to break away. Her eyes were deep, solid indigo when she did, though and she looked at him with a question in her gaze.
"I know this might seem contrary," she said, her voice dropped to a whisper.
"But Arlo, you need time to grieve an' I don't wanna complicate that. This'll be here then, but righ' now, you need time." She firmly believed she was right, but damnit, his timing sucked.