• Solo • Exciting Times

[Seira Shiryu]

continued from here


5th Cylus, 722


They had a concert to plan, and the needed to get started with it if they were going to have enough time to practice for it since the concert was going to be in four trials. Especially since Seira was asking Seri to learn a new song from scratch. So while Seri looked over the melody for the new song, Seira quickly got some more paper and a pen.

"Did you have the time to write down a list of the songs that we know?" she asked her twin.

Seri nodded.

"I'll go get it." she said after a trill.

Seira watched her go. It didn't take her sister long to return with the list that she had requested. When she did, Seira read through it to see if any songs had been left out. There weren't any.

"And what do you think about coming up with a theme for our concert?" Seira asked.

She had asked the question earlier so she hoped that Seri had had some time to think about the idea. Perhaps she might have even come up with a few ideas for a theme.

"I don't think it's such a good idea, Seira. If we had more time to plan and prepare for our concert, maybe. But four trials isn't really much time to get everything done. Having a theme would mean it would take us much longer to plan the concert, and that would leave us less time to practice. At least it would if we were to plan a themed concert properly."

Seira thought about what her sister had said. As she did so, she realized that creating a theme would involve more than just choosing songs that fit the theme. To do the task properly, they would need to make sure that the decorations matched their theme. And that would require the permission of the people who ran the Starling Gallery. Besides, it would take them a considerable amount of their time to master the new song that Seira wanted to introduce at the concert.

"Good point. No theme it is, then." she said decisively.

That was one decision made. And several more to consider.

"I think that we should start the concert with lively, upbeat songs. Then once we grab the audience's attention we can move on to the ballads and the like. I would like the last song we perform to be Family. I'm hoping that the song will leave a lasting impression on them and get them thinking about their own families. That isn't going to happen if we perform the song at the beginning or towards the middle of the concert. They'll be distracted by the rest of the concert.

"That makes sense." Seri agreed.

When it came time to choose what songs they wanted to perform, Seira suggested that they take turns picking songs that they wanted to perform until they had enough to fill the concert. But Seri was content to let Seira choose all of the songs and told her as much. Seira realized that the fun for her sister lay in the performance itself, not the whole process. So she agreed readily to take charge of the planning process.

Seira looked through the list of songs. As promised, it was a list of every song that they knew. On the first run through, Seira crossed out every song that they didn't know well. They were already going to be learning one new song, and they only had four trials to prepare for the concert. She figured that they didn't need to add anymore songs they were unfamiliar with to that.

As she continued to go through the list, she made a mark beside the songs that were especially popular now. It was important to consider the audience when giving a performance. If they did not like what you were performing then they would not enjoy the performance. But at the same time, Seira felt that it was important to include new material to intrigue the audience. Hearing the same songs all the time, no matter how much you enjoyed them would be boring, and that would affect their enjoyment of the performance. For that reason, Seira placed a mark beside some of the songs she had sung back in Rynmere; specifically ones that she had not performed during the Busker Fest.

When she came to the song she had written about her experiences in the civil war in Rynmere, she hesitated. The reason she had not performed it during the Busker Fest was that Rharne had seen its own suffering with the fighting at Storm's Edge. But more than an arc had passed since that time. Would hearing Remember the Fallen remind the people of Rharne of what had happened at Storm's Edge? Would it be a bad thing if it did? Now that enough time had passed the the pain of that time would not be fresh in peoples' minds, Seira decided to take the chance. She placed a mark besides that song as well.

Once she had chosen the songs that she wanted to sing, it was time to choose the order in which to perform them. Seira already knew that she wanted to start with the lively, upbeat songs and lead into the ballads and romantic songs later. With that in mind, she started a new sheet of paper and wrote down the names of the lively, upbeat songs that she wanted to perform. Within this group were popular songs from Rharne, and some of the ones she used to sing in Rynmere. After some tweaking, Seira was happy with the song placement. She left some space, then wrote the name of the song she had just written at the bottom of the page. That left the epic ballads, tragic songs, and romantic songs that she wanted to sing.

Rather than separate them into their own groups the way she had with the lively, upbeat songs, she alternated them so that she wouldn't spoil the mood of the concert by depressing her audience with too many sad songs at one time. Remember the Fallen was the first song she wrote down of that type. She followed it with an epic ballad about two Lightning Knights who were brothers, best friends, and rivals all in one. That was followed by a romantic song about a barmaid finding true love when a Lightning Knight began coming to the tavern she worked at.

In this way, Seira planned out the order for the rest of the songs that she wanted to sing. When she was done, she copied her final list onto two separate sheets of paper, and gave one of them to her twin.

"This is what I would like to sing at our concert. Do you have any changes that you'd like to make?"

Seri took the offered list, and read through it. After a few bits, she shook her head.

"I think that this is good." she said.

Seira smiled at her.

"Then I think it's time that we get started practicing."

[Seira Shiryu]

7th Cylus, 722


Seira was satisfied with the way their practice sessions had been going up to this point. They had run through all of the songs she wanted to include in their concert several times in the past couple of trials, and both she and Seri were confidant that they would do fine on most of the songs. Even the songs that they hadn't played since they were in Rynmere were going well. But they still needed to master Seira's newest song, Family. So that was what Seira wanted to focus on for this practice session.

Seira herself had memorized the words of the song already. It hadn't been that hard to do since she was the one who had written it, and she was used to learning new songs quickly. But she still needed to get the tempo right. Seri, on the other hand was still trying to master the melody. She could play it well enough when it was just the two of them practicing. There were a few mistakes here and there, but she could play the song through. It was the mistakes that she needed to work on in Seira's opinion. That, and getting herself to the point that she would be able to play the song with confidence in front of an audience.

Since Seri needed more practice than she did, Seira had her start playing first. That way she could listen to her sister play and point out any mistakes that she heard. Seira listened to her sister warm up by playing combinations of notes from the song she was trying to master rather than the scale. That too was practice for the song. When she was ready, Seri began to play the song in earnest, and Seira listened to it closely.

It didn't take long for Seira to realize that most of the mistakes Seri was making happened in the middle of the song. There were a couple at the end, but the biggest problem was in the middle. Seira asked Seri to concentrate her efforts on the middle of the song rather than playing the whole song through. It took many attempts, but after a few breaks, Seri had managed to correct her mistakes and play that section of the song through several times without error.

Seira didn't have to ask Seri to move on to the end of the song and work on the mistakes she had been making there. Once again, Seira listened to her sister play the part she was having trouble with over and over again until she could play it several times in a row without making a mistake. Since there had been fewer mistakes to correct towards the end of the song, that part had only taken Seri a little more than a break to fix.

Then it was Seira's turn. She began warming up her voice by singing the scales while Seri continued practicing the song they were working on. When she was ready, Seri started from the beginning of the song, and Seira listened for the right moment. Then she began to sing.

"Keeper of my heart, guardian of my soul,
You are the one who never abandoned me.
First friend, best friend, the other half of my soul,
I will always love you.

Family of your blood, family of your heart,
Family is what matters above all.
True family can be relied on when nothing else can;
Trust in the strength that comes from family.

Guardian and protector, bringer of comfort,
You are the one who saved me.
You taught me that there are still good people in the world after I learned that only my twin could be trusted,"

Seira paused when she stumbled over the last line a bit. It wasn't that she couldn't remember the words, but the awkwardness of the line made it difficult to sing. Frustrated once more by her lack of skill in song writing, she wondered if she should rewrite that part of the song. But there wasn't much time left until the concert, and any changes made now would make it that much harder for her to master the song in time. Besides...she still didn't know how to improve the line, and it did convey the feelings that she wanted it to. It would have to do. She started again.


"Keeper of my heart, guardian of my soul,
You are the one who never abandoned me.
First friend, best friend, the other half of my soul,
I will always love you.

Family of your blood, family of your heart,
Family is what matters above all.
True family can be relied on when nothing else can;
Trust in the strength that comes from family.

Guardian and protector, bringer of comfort,
You are the one who saved me.
You taught me that there are still good people in the world after I learned that only my twin could be trusted,
I will always love you.

Family of your blood, family of your heart,
Family is what matters above all.
True family can be relied on when nothing else can;
Trust in the strength that comes from family.

Protector of children, strong and brave,
You are the one who protected me.
I admire your strength and confidence; you know your own path."

Once again Seira stumbled over an awkward line, and once again she started over from the beginning. She did this until she could sing the song through from beginning to end several times in a row. By the time she had managed to do so, Seira knew that she needed to take a break.

"Seri, why don't we take a break and go do something else for a while? We've made good progress with this session, and if we take a break now we can have another practice session later to see if we still need to work with this song some more."

Her sister was quick to agree, so Seira went to take Taerin out for a walk.

[Seira Shiryu]

9th Cylus, 722


Seira quivered with excitement as she and her sister warmed up for their concert. Totrial was the trial. She had been singing and playing an instrument for as long as she could remember. But although she had performed before crowds, and even at festivals in the past, this was the first time she had done something like this. Giving a concert in a place like the Starling Gallery seemed a lot more...formal somehow, than anything else she had done in the past. Seira wasn't frightened, though. Instead, she was excited. She couldn't wait to walk out onto the stage and begin singing.

As she continued to warm her voice up, her mind drifted back to the breaks preceding this moment. She and her sister had arrived at the Starling Gallery several breaks before their concert was due to begin. Upon arrival, they had met with Ruvio Lancier. He showed them the theater where they would be performing, and allowed Seira some time to plan things out in her mind so she would know where she and Seri should stand as they performed. The theater was an impressive sight, and Seira couldn't help but imagine what it would be like when it was filled with people.

Ruvio had given them the chance to perform a song on the stage before the audience began to arrive so that they would be able to get a feel for the acoustics of the room. Seira jumped at the chance, so after a quick warm up she and Seri began. Seira could hear the difference immediately. The hauntingly beautiful melody of Remember the Fallen seemed to echo through the theater as Seira waited her her time to sing. The song sounded...bigger somehow. Different than the way it had sounded when they had practiced it in Seira's room at home. Grander, maybe. As Seira started to sing, she couldn't help but feel grateful that Ruvio had let them get a feel for the acoustics of the theater before their concert. The difference in the way they sounded might have been enough to distract them and cause them to make a mistake otherwise.

After they had finished their song, Ruvio introduced them to Gastiom Clouds and Kori Graybolt. Gastiom was the head chef for the gallery, and as such, he was the one who had prepared the food that would be served before the concert began and during the intermission. He showed Seira a selection of hot pies that he had made for the event. Some were filled with jam while others were filled with cheese, or meat. The beverages that would be served included some that were hot like hot chocolate, and tea while others that were cold like mead and ale. Seira thanked the man sincerely. She was certain that the people who came to hear her and Seri perform would be satisfied with what was being offered.

Kori turned out to be the Head of Staff. He was the one who would be in charge of the servers who provided her guests with food and drink. He and his crew would also be the ones who would clean up after the concert was over. Seira thanked him as well.

Seira forced her mind back to the task at hand with an act of will. It was more difficult than she wanted it to be since she was both excited about her concert, and distracted by all the things that might go wrong. But she managed to complete her warm up a few trills after Seri had completed hers. Then it was time.

Seira and Seri entered the stage. The theater was filled with people. Seira was thrilled, but at the same time, her heart pounded with nervousness. What if she or Seri made a mistake in front all of those people? Seira forced that worry aside with another act of will. A concert might be more formal than performing at a festival, but the actual performing itself would be the same. They would be fine.

Seri came to the point where Seira needed to start singing, and Seira began right on cue. Her voice rose in the lively tune of a familiar song that was quite popular at the moment. It was about a Lightning Knight and a Thunder Priestess who happened to be twins, and the crazy adventures they went on.

[Seira Shiryu]

As the last notes of the first song faded away, Seri launched into their next song. Keeping with the trend of starting with lively, upbeat songs, this song was a popular drinking song that was currently making its way through the taverns. The story within the song was of two men who got into a drinking contest over a girl that they both loved. The "prize" of the contest was less than amused at being treated as an object so she retaliated by joining the contest herself. She drank both men under the table, and the song ended with the woman going off with a third guy who had admired her skill and politely asked her for a date.

Seira listened carefully for the moment she needed to jump in and start singing. When it came, Seira came in right on time. As she sang, she watched the audience and felt a thrill of pride when they looked as though they were enjoying the performance.

The third song was a lively song about a stubborn farmer. He wanted to ride into the market to sell his vegetables, but his mule was even more stubborn than he was, and it had other ideas. In the end, the mule ended up eating the vegetables instead of the farmer going to the market to sell them.

When they reached the half way point in their concert, it was time for a brief intermission. The audience was invited to enjoy some snacks in the lobby while Seira and Seri took a short break. Seira drank some water to ease her dry throat. As she did so, she thought about how much fun she was having during their performance. It made her want to improve her singing even more so she could perform better for her audience. That thought led into ideas of what she might do to get better at singing. And from there, she started to wonder if she might ever become good enough to be able to perform for Ilaren.

Once the intermission was over, Seira and her sister made their way back on stage. The song they started with was a transition of sorts. It was a ballad about the adventures and loves of a sailor that sailed the waters around Rharne. In some places, it was fast and lively. That was where the adventures and sea battles happened. But it had its slow, romantic moments as well. From the standpoint of performing the song, it was more challenging than the others they had performed in the first half of the concert due to its tempo changes as well as some difficult notes. Even so, it was within Seri's ability to play since she had practiced it extensively for the concert. Seira herself had much less difficulty with it than her twin did. The end result was that they pulled it off well, and their audience enjoyed it.

Other ballads followed the first one, and with them came some sweet, romantic love songs as well as hauntingly beautiful tragic songs of loss, and true epic ballads filled with adventure. Each one had one thing in common with all of the others. Whether it was an epic adventure to rescue a sister in distress, or the loss of a beloved family member that lingered on in death, or star crossed lovers with families that did not approve of their union, family was involved in one way or another. And it all led up to the final song of the concert.

When it was finally time to perform their last song, Seira glanced quickly at her twin. This song was very different from the others she had sung, and it was more of a risk than any of the others; not only because it was a song that her audience wouldn't know, but she would also be ending the concert with a very sad song. It was a song that Seira herself had written as a child back in Rynmere, and it was based on her own experiences in that city. As such it was unknown here in Rharne. But it was a powerful song that Seira had felt strongly enough about to take a risk on. The melody was a hauntingly beautiful one and the words offered a powerful warning. Seri gave her an encouraging smile and nodded once. Then it was time to begin.

Trapped all alone.
Far from home.
With only cold fear to sustain her.
Two sisters kept apart by powers unknown.
The iron gate forbade passage to all.
Silent witness to the horrors that came.

War claims all, great and small.
And the innocent suffer the most.
Those who are lost can never return.
The unlucky ones remain behind to mourn.
Remember the fallen, and never forget
the true horror brought by the flames of war.

A sea of men akin to the stars in the sky.
None knew from whence they came.
Blades of silver gleamed bright in the sun,
brought an endless flood of crimson death.
Merchant or beggar, young or old,
none could stand before them.

War claims all, great and small.
And the innocent suffer the most.
Those who are lost can never return.
The unlucky ones remain behind to mourn.
Remember the fallen, and never forget
the true horror brought by the flames of war.

Families torn apart.
Screams of pain, screams of despair.
Terror fills the air.
Mothers wail over lost children,
while orphans search for what cannot be found.
Calling out for those who can no longer answer.

War claims all, great and small.
And the innocent suffer the most.
Those who are lost can never return.
The unlucky ones remain behind to mourn.
Remember the fallen, and never forget
the true horror brought by the flames of war.

Those spared by the unreasoning blade found a crueler fate.
Left behind to face the aching loss.
Cold fear plagued every trill.
Hunger, and thirst, a lingering death,
awaited those spared quick release.

War claims all, great and small.
And the innocent suffer the most.
Those who are lost can never return.
The unlucky ones remain behind to mourn.
Remember the fallen, and never forget
the true horror brought by the flames of war.

When the song ended, the room was silent for several nerve wracking trills. Then someone began to clap vigorously. That person was followed by another and another until the entire room was filled with the sound. The audience had loved the song, and they stood to show their approval. Seira felt both a great sense of relief, and of great pride. She glanced at her twin, and found Seri smiling back at her. Then they took a bow, and exited the stage.

Some of the people from the audience lingered to congratulate them on a good performance before leaving. Seira thanked them sincerely. Their words and the feelings they gave her combined with the sheer enjoyment she had had while giving the concert made Seira determined to give more concerts in the future. And from the look in Seri's eyes, she didn't think that she would have any trouble convincing Seri to join her.

[Pegasus]

Your Review

Seira

Overview

Thank you for editing your posts to make the knowledges easier to see - hopefully that helps you going forward. If you look at your review request, you'll see that there are number of duplicates in the "skill used" sections. I would suggest the following to you - in order to make Peer Reviewers lives a little easier.

a) Don't list XP and Knowledge in brackets - we don't need it in Skills Used. If a peer reviewer needs to have a look at that level of specifics, they can just click the skill list under your avatar and hover over the skill in question.
b) Untrained is not a skill level. Just stick with Novice.
c) if you have used the "level=" in the knowledge code, then the level of your skill will appear in your review request (here, it's the "Detection (competent)" etc). You don't need to duplicate unless you want to highlight a specific place where you use the skill, and as long as you stop putting in knowledge / xp and keep it the same, that should get rid of that duplication.

Now - on to the review! This is an interesting thread and I enjoyed parts of it a lot. I liked being able to understand Seira's choice of songs, for example, and her reasoning behind the order of them. I would have liked to see more emotion, however, in your writing. This is a big thing for Seira - for them both - and I felt it was a real opportunity to explore your PC a little more. Especially considering that I think you overplayed her Discipline here a little. With Competent Discipline for sure she'd have been able to carry on and perform - but I felt that the nerves she was feeling deserved more than the single sentence it got.

I very much liked that you included examples of the songs, that really helped me to visualise what was happening. I also thought it was great that Seira wanted to end with "Family" and then worked backwards from there. I loved her reasoning for that. But she didn't end with Family - she ended with a very sad song which was likely to leave a very different final impression.

Seira Shiryu

• Renown: 10
• XP: 10
• Knowledges:
  • Logistics: when planning an event, save the thing you want to leave a lasting impression for last so that people will not be distracted from it
  • Detection: listening carefully to pick up bad notes in a song
  • Discipline: forcing yourself to concentrate on the task at hand when excited and distracted

Consequences

Seira herself noted how important the final song is and, since her actual final piece was one which she had been unsure of even including because of it's emotional impact, she would immediately be aware of the likely impact of her choice to end with "Remember the Fallen". Over the rest of this Cycle and into the current one, Seira will find that she is getting more of a mixed response from people who recognise her. Ilaren's city is about celebration and good alcohol, after all, and the way that Rharnians deal with death is very specific. ( lore thread = "When a Rharnian passes away, their loved ones make a point of celebrating their life rather than mourning their death. The deceased is placed on a decorated funeral pyre, which is then lit on fire and sent out onto Lake Lovalus. Afterwards, their loved ones throw a party in remembrance of the deceased. Beer and food flows freely as stories, both affectionate and humorous, are told about the deceased’s life." ). Ending her concert on such a song, even one so beautiful, has left a lasting impression on those who went there - but a mixed one.

Seira will be aware that there are those who found her choice of final song distasteful - she will also find that she has a few new fans who are a group of young Rharnians who are fascinated with death and call themselves the "Shadow Walkers". They will request that Seira writes more about death, misery, pain, etc. She will also find that, should she wish to enter Buskerfest this arc, she will be politely but firmly declined. Buskerfest is restricting those who can enter (see Rharne's calendar) and her music is not considered in Rharne's best interests at this time.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding this review - drop me a PM.