The girl did not know what to expect after her question was asked. All she hoped for was the truth but she doubted about getting it. In her experience, truth was often hidden in gestures and diversions. It was slippery like eels. Would Cassander prove to be the same as everyone else she had ever met? In a way, she hoped for it. So then she knew where she stood and she could move forward. Because the alternative...well, it was unknown to her. Unfamiliar. And therefore, kind of scary.
So she was taken off guard when Cassander said what he did.
Because you remind me of myself, she heard him say and the words echoed in the momentary emptiness in her mind. In her brain cavity, those words managed to silence everything and capture her entirely. How could that be? How could she remind him of himself? She was no one. A frown returned to her expression.
Yet, his past bore similarities to her reality. She had to focus on them but she could see them. And they made her wonder. Could it be that she was not alone in her way of life? Could it be that Cassander really did understand her? And if not her specifically, then at least her life to a certain degree?
It was when he mentioned being a friend or a mentor that it gave her a pause and the fierce frown on her face shifted.
A friend? Elowen thought, brows lifting. A companion of sorts. She looked up from Karl towards the woods. She was not really looking for anything nor seeing anything. Yet, she saw it all in front of her. Mistral Woods and its life. Pea and Ark. The drama hens of the shack. Those were her friends. They were her companions. Life here was everything she ever had and everything she thought she needed.
Yet, as those words washed over her, they stung. The provoked a sharp pain to drive through her body. She had known it as fear her whole life. Something that fed the fire inside her blood. Something that never went away. But with everything that has happened since Meira's passing, the events at Creeksong, Elowen began to understand that fear and its many facets.
She was afraid of that which laid outside the woods because she was cautioned against it. But at the same time, she longed for it. It was strangest of sensations. The fluid nature of strong emotions.
Her expression shifted again and she dropped her gaze to the ground, attempting to hide her face. She felt the lump in her throat.
"I never knew my parents," she said at first. Her face twitched in a grimace she did not even know if she should try to hide. She was telling the truth though. She never knew her mother. Of her father, she only had a traumatic memory that wasn't even her own. She shook her head. "Meira...I guess you could say she was a guardian of sorts. I don't quite remember how I ended up here in Mistral, only that I have been here since I can remember. But Meira made sure I knew that she wasn't related to me. She..." The girl stopped and took in a deep breath before slowly releasing it. "She was both a guardian of me and of the forest. Protector. Ready to strike if needed." And the dead woman's threat rang in her ears. She understood it now. After so many years, knowing what she knew now, Elowen was clearer on who Meira was.
"I don't know about being strong or clever. I just do what I have always done. What Meira taught me. She taught me the craft. How to be. Who to be. But it was Mistral who has always been there for me." Her words ended in whispers.
She had never spoke to anyone about any of this. And she didn't quite know why Cassander was the one to be privy to those words.
"I don't know what friendship between people means," she said a moment later. "But if it means you come here without any requests just to spend time..." And she shrugged though it all meant so much more to her than that. "Then you are always welcome here, Cassander. And Karl too, of course."
So she was taken off guard when Cassander said what he did.
Because you remind me of myself, she heard him say and the words echoed in the momentary emptiness in her mind. In her brain cavity, those words managed to silence everything and capture her entirely. How could that be? How could she remind him of himself? She was no one. A frown returned to her expression.
Yet, his past bore similarities to her reality. She had to focus on them but she could see them. And they made her wonder. Could it be that she was not alone in her way of life? Could it be that Cassander really did understand her? And if not her specifically, then at least her life to a certain degree?
It was when he mentioned being a friend or a mentor that it gave her a pause and the fierce frown on her face shifted.
A friend? Elowen thought, brows lifting. A companion of sorts. She looked up from Karl towards the woods. She was not really looking for anything nor seeing anything. Yet, she saw it all in front of her. Mistral Woods and its life. Pea and Ark. The drama hens of the shack. Those were her friends. They were her companions. Life here was everything she ever had and everything she thought she needed.
Yet, as those words washed over her, they stung. The provoked a sharp pain to drive through her body. She had known it as fear her whole life. Something that fed the fire inside her blood. Something that never went away. But with everything that has happened since Meira's passing, the events at Creeksong, Elowen began to understand that fear and its many facets.
She was afraid of that which laid outside the woods because she was cautioned against it. But at the same time, she longed for it. It was strangest of sensations. The fluid nature of strong emotions.
Her expression shifted again and she dropped her gaze to the ground, attempting to hide her face. She felt the lump in her throat.
"I never knew my parents," she said at first. Her face twitched in a grimace she did not even know if she should try to hide. She was telling the truth though. She never knew her mother. Of her father, she only had a traumatic memory that wasn't even her own. She shook her head. "Meira...I guess you could say she was a guardian of sorts. I don't quite remember how I ended up here in Mistral, only that I have been here since I can remember. But Meira made sure I knew that she wasn't related to me. She..." The girl stopped and took in a deep breath before slowly releasing it. "She was both a guardian of me and of the forest. Protector. Ready to strike if needed." And the dead woman's threat rang in her ears. She understood it now. After so many years, knowing what she knew now, Elowen was clearer on who Meira was.
"I don't know about being strong or clever. I just do what I have always done. What Meira taught me. She taught me the craft. How to be. Who to be. But it was Mistral who has always been there for me." Her words ended in whispers.
She had never spoke to anyone about any of this. And she didn't quite know why Cassander was the one to be privy to those words.
"I don't know what friendship between people means," she said a moment later. "But if it means you come here without any requests just to spend time..." And she shrugged though it all meant so much more to her than that. "Then you are always welcome here, Cassander. And Karl too, of course."
