A time and a place.

[Celeste Andaris]

1st Ymiden, 718

Celeste Andaris was afraid.

Afraid of what that woman would take over her mind once again. Afraid of becoming her, of being her. Afraid of every memory she had which hurt her so much and, in doing so, hurt Xander too. However, there were some things which were fundamental. "I love you, Xander. More than I have words to tell you, but I am not living in an Inn any more. We are buying, or renting a house." She looked at him and smiled slightly. "I may have had all my standards suppressed for the past two seasons, but I am afraid that I am not prepared to maintain. Besides," she said, and meant it. "You need space. Space to practice, to train, to read and to be away from me. Us"

It would be reasonable to assume, of course, that she meant space to be away from her and the babies, but she did not. She meant space away from her and the interloper who lived in her head. Tessa Anders, the whore and weak willed, broken little tramp who Celeste hated. Tessa looked at him, and shrugged, changing in a blink as she did every time. There was no warning, nothing, just one trill she was one and the next, she was another.

"Both of us, she means," Tessa said and she looked down at Zana with a smile. "These two, you don't wanna be away from them. Jus' us. It's all we've got in common you know. Lovin' you an' these babies. Memories, too, some of them. What Master Peake did to us, that kind of thing. I don't remember that Rafael Warrick boy, though, an' yet I know him 'cos she does." Tessa looked down at the babies and her face twisted in pain. "I'm scared, you know. I'm really scared. I'm not real. My memories, they're not real, an' I'm just a made up part of her. So, you need to get rid of me so you can live yer lives. I know that." Get rid of her, it seemed so strange. Yet, there was a simple, unavoidable fact as far as Tessa was concerned.

"At least if I was gonna die, there'd be the unknown. I don't have that. I just have to cease. To stop bein'. Never to have been real." She sighed deeply and looked down at the children. "But if I'm not real then why am I so scared of leavin' my babies?"

Shaking her head, Celeste stood up and moved over to the window. Tessa spoke about her emotions, her feelings. Celeste did not. She did not speak of her shame, though it weighed on her constantly. For no apparent reason a deep blush often stained her cheeks and she was skittish and unsure of many, many things- yet she did her best not to show it. She sought Xander's proximity, but she could do no more than hold his hand or be held in his arms and, whichever one of them fell asleep, it was inevitably Celeste who woke at night, bathed in sweat and tears, fearful and begging.

"It seems," Celeste said, softly, "that Mr James might be our next lead. We should investigate, don't you think? We have to remember that they brought me here to bring you here and Benji was there when they... when she... when I was taken. That was why he hated me, he was working for her. I.. " she what? "If we get somewhere to live, I think we should live in separate rooms. Sleep in them, I mean. I just wake you up at night." There was more to what she was saying, what she was feeling, but Celeste left it there for the moment. Except, of course, to say, "I mean when we get somewhere to live. When, Xander Krome."

[Xander Andaris]

Xander looked up at her from the knot in the wood he had been staring at, engrossed in thought he had almost completely missed what she said. His brain was racing to keep up with his ears as he was pulled suddenly out of the depths of his mind. "Erm," The processing was slow but it eventually got there as he managed to formulate a response. "I think you forget, we are not quite as wealthy as we once were, besides that is a big commitment to a city we have hardly seen anything of." Xander raised his shoulders in a nonchalant manner showing his uncertainty on the idea. They were both now unemployed and without their noble gained privileges too, Celeste may need to get used to living it down a little.

He tapped the table for a moment while considering their options before she began to speak once again. However she was no longer Celeste but Tessa, he stifled a sigh, still not used to the sudden switching of personalities. It was difficult to keep up with how suddenly it could occur. It was very philosophical for the first thing in the morning and philosophy was not one of the straight to the point Shieldbearer's strong suits, even at the best of times. "I don't want to be away from you, both of you, surely that is clear?" Xander seemed honestly surprised as he pulled his seat back from the table and turned it more straight on to face her. "Would I really have given up everything, travelled around the world and risked my life to save you if I didn't want to be by your side?" The ex-noble moved his hands Questioningly.

"Your fear makes sense I suppose and as to whether you are real or not I can't answer that, I do not pretend to understand the mind or the soul that inhabits it or whether such a thing can be created." He had no idea if Tessa was a separate soul or being or just part of Celeste that had been given its own voice. "If you knew you were not real you would not exist and that isn't possible, no maybe you are real but the question is not are you real but what exactly you are." It seemed harsh to ask but it was true and Xander as ever was blunt and honest.

He stood and moved over to look down at their babies too. "You may be as real as Celeste or you may not but the matter of the fact is you are here now." He thought about it more and did not believe it possible to just create a new soul out of nowhere, nor force it into a body already taken. "If you ask me perhaps you are one in the same, two voices of the same person that attribute to different parts of you." Xander placed a hand on her shoulder and continued to looked down at Zara and Katherine.

As he held her shoulder she once again switched, Tessa being overtaken by Celeste. Unfortunately she seemed incapable of deciding which topic she wanted to discuss most at this moment in time, perhaps a side effect of the mix of her different personalities. "Firstly, I agree that we need to investigate Mr James, when we get the chance and it is sensible to do so." He moved onto her next comment then, trying to keep some semblance of order to the conversation. "Secondly that is not what will happen, if we get somewhere to live we will stay together. You did it for me when I suffered from night terrors and I will do it for you, we are married and I will not see the webspinners mess with that connection we share." Any more then they already had he supposed.

[Celeste Andaris]

"I am more than prepared to lower my standards, Xander, but this is below the threshold. We are like slatterns. I have a house, Benji is dead. I have money, also, I took all of it when we left," she didn't even notice that she was referring to Tessa as 'I'. She'd be horrified if she did. "Renting somewhere will be achievable, surely? Ala'ni needs a garden, Xander, people to play with her." She hated the flip-flopping that she did but both Celeste and Tessa remembered Ala'ni now and so to the little girl there was very little difference between the two. Because they.. she... they worked hard to make sure that was the case. "And I have no intention of making a commitment to the city, but the children need stability. We do, too." He'd be comfortable anywhere, she was quite sure - in fact she was fairly confident that her pup could sleep on a chicken's lip. Celeste didn't need grand or fancy, she told him. Just somewhere that was theirs.

He didn't want to be away from them? Tessa looked at him and smiled slightly, despite the despair she was feeling. "I irritate you, an' we both frustrate you. It's a lot to take in, for you an' us. I just mean that you need space, Xander. That's all. And I know, now at least, I know what you've given up to come for me." She looked down at the babies and sighed, "her." But the question he posed, of what exactly she was? Tessa looked at him with a frown and then shrugged slightly. "What am I? A whore, I suppose. Is that what you mean?" But he put a hand on her shoulder and Tessa leaned against him, lowering her head to rest against him.

When he spoke to her about Mr James, Celeste nodded but his response to the idea of separate bedrooms was predictable, she supposed. At the very least, she should have seen it coming. However, she hadn't and so Celeste considered his words. "Do you remember, when we first started sleeping in the same bed how, sometimes, I'd freeze when I realised that there was someone there? How terrified I was?" She reached up and touched his cheek, gently. "You were so patient. But that was one man, one attack. There have been so many, Xander," Celeste's lip trembled but she didn't cry. "She calls herself a whore, but that isn't what she was. What I was. Benji sent his wife onto the streets because he wanted me broken, but that was like controlling my food or clothes," both of them things he did. "Being a streetwalker was a minor reminder of my place. He... Xander, the things he did, that he made me do. Him, his friends, people I didn't know. He would bring the worst kind of men home and listen to me scream, then he would try and make me scream louder when they were done with me. I might never... never be able to..." She shook her head and breathed in, trying to quell the emotion, pain and humiliation.

"I love you. I do. But I might not ever be able to share your bed again, Xander. Not like that." Breathing in Celeste looked out of the window and smiled, sadly. "I'm afraid to go outside. I think we should, if we can. The longer I go without doing so, the bigger it's going to get. Shall we go and explore the city a little?" She looked at him and gently moved his hair back into place, a casual and usual gesture. "We can look at house prices," she added, drily.

[Xander Andaris]

Of course she made sense, she always did about things like this. He thought it was one of her frustrating perfections, he loved it but couldn't help but wish it wasn't true. Still he just wasn't quite sure they were ready, a new city, a new life, a new home, it all felt like too much acceptance. Maybe the Shieldbearer hadn't quite accepted that the Rynmere chapter of his life was over, clinging to some last thread of temporariness. "Let's see I don't want to rush into anything." It wasn't a no he was not refusing to do it but he wanted to think about it properly before committing their limited funds to the investment.

Still Tessa took his statement far too literally, perhaps he had been too philosophical for once, there was a first time for everything. "Of course that isn't what I mean, I wasn't talking..." He sighed and shook his head there really wasn't any point in trying to explain. It wasn't because he couldn't get her to understand but that he didn't want too spend the time doing so. "Forget it, it isn't important, I just don't want you to be afraid." Yes she irritated him but so had Celeste and that hadn't stopped him loving her more and more each day. "I never want anyone to be afraid but that is too optimistic so I will settle for helping you and Celeste to feel comfortable while whatever is going to happen happens."

She explained more what she meant that it had been his turn to take her statement in nothing but a literal sense, missing the true reasons for which she no longer wanted to sleep beside him. Still she had misunderstood him, he had not wanted her in his bed so they could make love. He just wanted her beside him where she should have been for the past two seasons. "I understand." Her needs outweighed his, they always would because the wolf was more often than not incapable of putting his needs first. "I can be patient with you, I am still the man I was back then and if you aren't comfortable and happy then neither am I." Of course he neglected to mention how long it would be before he stopped placing a chair up outside of her door and sleeping there if separate bedrooms was going to be the case.

"Lets go." Xander moved over top the table, gathering up a small coin purse and strapping his sword to his belt as usual. He looked over at the sword of Rafael Warrick where it was leaned up in the corner. For a moment he considered taking it too but decided against it. The Shieldbearer could already imagine the looks of distaste Celeste would flash his way if he did. He wondered if she recalled his actions in the kitchen that day, he had given the boy a death more than he deserved. For some unknown reason he felt for the boy, little did he know the true extent that they paralleled each other. They had just fallen along different paths when faced with the world before them.

Xander scooped up Zara and wrapped her in a blanket cradling her in his arm as he moved open and held the door open for his wife. "If you are ready my lady." He smiled charmingly and looked at Celeste with warm blue eye. He probably hadn't called her 'my lady' since the first time they met, a bit of a nostalgic call back after she had mentioned Krome earlier. "Let us see what Yithiral has to offer." He looked very much like a farther and nothing else there. A man in the doorway holding his baby and especially so as he called out for the final member of their now rather large family. "Ala'ni, come on we are going for a walk."

The girl came storming down the hallway carrying her sword-stick and giggling as the son of the Innkeeper chased her with his own stick. A smile lit up his features although who knew what Celeste would make of it. "Alright, alright." They came to a halt in front of him and the boy dipped his head before the giant in comparison that was Xander. "Sir." The boy seemed to suddenly be shy before Xander rather than the wildly excited like he had been just moments ago. "I hope she showed you who is boss." He smiled and tapped the boys shoulder gently. "Go on Ala'ni is coming out with us, you can play later."

The boy darted off back down the hallway with a quick wave to Ala'ni as Xander looked down at the girl. "Put your stick away little one, we are going out for a while." She seemed momentarily put out before she realised that Celeste was coming too, for the first time in a while they would all be doing something together. "Okay father." She did as she was told leaving the stick by Rafael's sword and then they were ready to go.

[Celeste Andaris]

Celeste looked at her husband and when he said lets see she smiled at him. That meant, yes dear but he didn't want to admit defeat quite so easily. "Of course," she said with a slight nod. "It's best that we consider such things carefully. You're very wise." One eyebrow lifted and she watched him with a half smile. They had used to tease each other like this, when they both knew exactly what the other was saying and yet pretended they didn't. Her gaze on him softened and she realised something as she said it. "I've missed you. This. Us." But, fate was a cruel thing and Tessa was there before Celeste had finished the words. She said nothing, though, just resting her head against his shoulder and allowing the moment to be. "I'm not afraid. It's nice," Tessa whispered quietly. "I think it's the first time in my life, you know."

The same could not be said for Celeste, who was very much afraid and yet, Xander comforted her, reassured her and told her that he would be patient, that there were no expectations on her. "My wolf," she said, her hand reaching to his cheek. "I know how much it hurts you when I wake, when you hear about what happened. There's no need." Yet, she had to admit that she slept better with him. There was one thing Celeste was growing more and more sure of, though, and that was simple. "We'll work it out." He didn't realise, she imagined, but just touching him, being touched by him in such a casual manner, these were enormous things for her. No other man. Not even Torqin would she be comfortable with. Celeste was damaged, psychologically, and possibly beyond repair.

But yes, a walk. As he picked up Zara, she moved to Katherine and Celeste smiled at him as he did. Their movements in parallel, they got ready and then she saw him glance at the sword. "I've never killed anyone before," Tessa said, looking where he looked and moving to her own memories. "I hope you don't think worse of me. At the time I didn't remember that he'd tried to stab me," Celeste explained. "But now," Tessa shrugged and tapped her temple. "Well both sets of memories is weird. Isn't it beautiful girl? Come to Mama,"

My lady? Tessa looked up at him in delight and Celeste smiled as she spoke. "My lord, you are most kind. Oh, it's chaos in here." She rubbed her temples and sighed. "I'm afraid Xander, and I think that might be why I am flipping between the two of us so much." She was afraid, both of them were, of going outside. Of seeing people. "If there are any of my clients out there, what recognise me," Tessa said and Celeste continued the sentence, "I don't want trouble, Xander. Just put your arm around me and they'll go away."

She was flitting between her two personalities too fast for her to keep up, but as Ala'ni charged in the door, Celeste beamed and walked over to wrap her daughter in a hug. She saw the emotions play across Ala'ni's face and she knelt down to speak to her. "I know it's been difficult, my darling, and you've been brave haven't you? But being brave is hard sometimes." Ala'ni's face was solemn as she nodded. "So, father and I are going to buy you some new dresses, and maybe a doll to say thank you for being so brave and helping Father stay brave too." Wide brown eyes looked between the two of them. "Are you coming with us, Mama?"

"Yes, sweetheart," Tessa said, softly. "Mama's coming with you. We can hold hands the whole time an' then maybe I'll be brave too, do you think?" Ala'ni smiled and nodded, then looked between the two of them, a baby each in their arms and for a moment the little girl looked like she might burst into tears. Instead, though, she beamed in pleasure. "Can I get a new hat, too, Father?" Tessa looked up at him as Ala'ni asked that and she smiled at him. It would be alright, Celeste thought. They would be.

All six of them.

[Xander Andaris]

"I do not think worse of you, I had just hoped to keep you from the darkness that comes with taking a life." Xander eyed her cautiously knowing it was likely a unpleasant topic to discuss. "I make it look easy but its not, it changes you in ways you don't even realise until much later." He tightened his belt and made sure to keep a calm voice as he touched upon the sombre topic. "I only realised recently that I don't know the names of most the men I have killed, they were just obstacles to me but that is what they have to be to live with it." He moved over to the door.

The wolf was not convinced but nodded anyhow. "No trouble, I promise." It was one he would try his best to keep but knowing what they had done to her was not something easy to ignore. His pride was wounded by the thought of it and while he was not a man controlled by it he could not help but feel like he had failed his responsibilities to Celeste. "I won't cause any trouble." It was good to clear that up, he wouldn't cause any but if someone else started it he would be more than comfortable putting an end to it. He would do his best not to get arrested doing so though.

Xander wasn't so sure buying gifts was the best idea at that moment but he was in no mood to argue and especially not in front of her. "Choose one a new hat or a new dress? The doll, if it is what you want, is a treat either way." Perhaps he was frugal but these weren't exactly the best times to be throwing money at clothes. It was worrying how quickly he had adapted to the lifestyle of saving money, then again he had never been one for the finer things in life. Being an Andaris had forced him to dress better and spend his hard earned money on expensive foods and parties. Now though he was free to revert more to his Krome self and keep his money tight in his back pocket. She nodded in thought but did not yet give an answer he supposed it would be some time before she did.

So out they went on their family expedition, babies in their parents arms and Ala'ni skipping along with them. It was perfect almost, something he would have dreamt of as a child with his sister when she convinced him such things were possible. Never once had he truly believed it possible but here he was among an arguably perfect family.

Immediately it became clear something was happening though as crowds of people rushed down the streets, all heading in the same direction. "I wonder what's happening." The Shieldbearer observed looking over at his wife. "Perhaps we should go and see? It could be something that effects us." He shrugged slightly and looked to her for agreement or not. Personally he was quite curious to see what all the fuss was about, it must have been something important by the looks of the people all rushing to see.

[Doran Cooney]

Celeste "Tessa" Andaris

Knowledges
Intelligence: Gathering information from a range of sources
Intelligence: Always consider accomplices and what part they play.
Intelligence: In a conspiracy, consider that almost everything will have a reason.
Negotiation: Know when you've won
Negotiation: Coat success with praise
Discipline: Understanding the person within you is still you
Psychology: Multiple personalities cause chaos and confusion

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Renown: N/A

Points 15

Xander Calen Andaris (nee Krome)

Knowledges
Negotiation: Don't outright say no, it buys you time
Negotiation: Put forward a reasoned argument
Psychology: Dealing with taking the lives of others
Psychology: Questioning the existence of a second personality
Discipline: Dealing with your wife having multiple personalities
Discipline: Not giving in to the females in your life
Discipline: Stand by your argument even if your opponent already made up their mind
Caregiving: Reassuring an upset woman.

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Renown: N/A

Points 15

---

Oh. Multiple personalities have never really been something I've liked reading much, but as a psych professor, I'll just assume you know what you're writing about. Xander, as always, is pragmatic and loyal; I'm always surprised at how patient he is with Celeste constantly trying to put distance between the two of them. Definitely a weird situation, but if anyone can force things to work and help whoever his wife is now, it's Xander.

Please edit your grade request, thank you!

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[center][img]/gallery/image.php?album_id=39&image_id=7932[/img]Doran Cooney[/center]