Just Breathe

The capital city of the of Rynmere, here is seated the only King in Idalos.
Malcolm
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Just Breathe

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97 Vhalar 716
Like a drum his heart pounded in his ears, cancelling out any background noise. Malcolm was calm, this was not his storm, merely a reflection of Elyna’s own inner turmoil echoed in his body. Quiet, the house took in a great breath as the front door was pulled open, sucking the warmth from wooden lungs. There was a low hiss, his own rage given voice. How dare she leave with Elsie, and on the back on a Volareon! Malcolm raced from the guest room and rushed to the front door, his voice like thunder as he called after the small silhouette in the sky.
“Elyna!”
He watched her disappear, the new silence broken by the familiar cry of a baby. Elsie was still here? The mortalborn went to the room to comfort the child, rocking her in his arms with care. Soon Elsie was once again asleep, and Malcolm was left alone to contemplate what might be going through Elyna’s mind. They were so mad, at the world and with each other. Things had been rough since his return, and what could have been a wonderful night was ruined by insecurity and unspoken truths.

Today he was meant to be training knights, instead Malcolm was sitting at home, racking his brain. It was difficult to see past his anger. Some hours had passed now and still Elyna had not returned. Malcolm had used his mortalborn gift to keep Elsie content for now, but two nosebleeds later and he knew this was not going to be a long term fix. He rummaged through old letters and documents, hoping to find something that might explain Elyna’s resentment. The will. It had led to a heated argument between the two of them before his departure in Ymiden. Malcolm threw it into the fire along with some other bits of old paper.
Upon the discovery of the letter he had sent to Vaughn, the knight also found a letter addressed to himself from Elyna that had never been sent. The words on the page were hard to read, not due to the amount of errors, of which there were many, but the message, one Elyna had failed to communicate during their previous spats. Malcolm balled up the letter. His nose stung with the tears he refused to shed. He had been hurting for far too long. The letter answered a lot of questions, but it didn't take away the pain, in fact, it only added to it. He swallowed and rolled the crumpled letter into the low burning flames and watched it disappear.
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 436
Malcolm
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Just Breathe

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There was a knock at the door and Malcolm raced to open it, taken aback by the faces that stood staring at him on the other side. “Godric, Ava,” he blinked away the dumb look on his face and welcomed them in, “please, you must both be tired, come in.”
Godric came in and helped himself to a glass of water after throwing his bags down. Avari followed soon after and set her pack down with care beside the door. She looked around the room and smiled, “are you going to give us a tour?”
Malcolm stood with brow raised. “There isn't much to the place I'm afraid, master bedroom, bathroom, guest room,” he pointed.
“Only one guest room?” Ava smiled. “Does that mean I'll have to share with this guy again?”
“Did you have to share a cabin on the boat?” Malcolm asked.
Godric smacked his lips, satisfied with the fresh water. “All sixty and some trials,” he called.
“He snores,” Avari mouthed.
Malcolm smiled.
“When do we get to meet Elyna?” Godric inquired.
Avari sat down at the table. “Is she home?”
Malcolm bit his tongue and chose his words carefully. “She's out at the moment, hopefully she will be back later this evening.” In all honesty, he had no idea when she would return.
“Bit late in her pregnancy to be going on daytrips isn't it, isn't she due soon?” Avari piped up.
“I'm sorry,” the knight admitted, “I meant to reply to your letter but things have been so hectic I forgot. “Elsie came early.”
“Elsie?” Avari got to her feet slowly. “Is she here?”
“Sit, sit,” Malcolm encouraged. “I'll go fetch her.”
Malcolm returned with Elsie a few moments later. The baby was wrapped in a warm woollen blanket, her soft, brown hair brushed forwards with a light sweep of the man’s hand. He placed the babe down in Avari’s arms with great care and tucked one of her little arms back into the blanket.
Avari drew in a breath, “Oh my goodness,” her eyes narrowed and she closed her lower lip over the top one, and looked to be fighting back tears. “Oh Malcolm, she's so beautiful. How does she do it? I couldn't leave this little angel alone for a moment.”
The man smiled, every bit the proud father he had been when it was their son Avari had been holding, only there was something special about Elsie, his first little girl.
Godric crossed the room and knelt down to pick something up off the floor and rose, frozen in place as his eyes fell closed and he read the item he had discovered on the floor. “Malcolm,” he spoke in a low tone of voice a few seconds later. “Is this Elyna’s ring?”
Malcolm turned to take the ring quickly and undid the chain around his neck to fasten it to the necklace and keep it safe. “She must have dropped it on her way out.”
Godric closed his hand over Malcolm’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. “She didn't drop it Malcolm, she threw it, what's going on?”
Malcolm grit his teeth, he had forgotten Godric had the ability to read items. “Avari will you watch Elsie for a while?”
“Of course!” Avari beamed. “As long as you need.”
Godric followed Malcolm outside where the two of them could talk in private.
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 578
Malcolm
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“And did he?”
“Against her will,” Godric nodded.
Malcolm closed a hand over his midsection, he felt empty, ill, had he eaten today? Could he after hearing such news… “Her letter mentioned a mark, on her leg,” he couldn't looked at Godric, but hoped with all his being that it wasn't true.
“Can I have the ring?”
Malcolm slipped the chain off over his head and set it in Godric’s hand. He watched as the mortalborn closed the ring in his fist tightly and shut his eyes, lost deep in concentration.
“A scar, and a nasty one at that… It looks like a dragon, or it did at one point.”
Malcolm got to his feet and walked away from the fence towards the lane. The small stones on the drive crunched underfoot, and the cool breeze whipped through his oily, black hair. “Is there anything else I need know?”
Godric stood up and leaned back against the fence. “She cut a man's throat?”
“Her uncle,” he nodded, “the squires in the city can talk about nothing else.”
“What are you going to do? You said you wanted to leave… to take Elsie with you?”
“I can't do that to her, not knowing everything she has been through. I thought it was just me, I thought… I thought she didn't love me anymore, maybe she doesn't. But there is more, far more than she let on. I don't know whether to think she is brave or--”
“That she doesn't trust you?” Godric asked.
Malcolm bowed his head.
“Where is Elyna now? Can you see her?”
“If I concentrate,” he agreed, and closed his eyes.

Everything was black, but as light fought to penetrate the darkness, blues lines shot across his vision in waves, followed a dim light, coloured yellow and green, like looking through a window during the daylight hours with one’s eyes closed. All of the sudden there was a bright flash of light, the floor of the horizon painted blue under the afternoon sun, which looked to be on its way down. Malcolm felt his limbs tremble as he fought to stay connected, forcing this particular gift uninvited, took a lot of concentration.
Elyna must have looked down then, and through her eyes he saw the crashing waves and the rocks far below her feet over the steep edge of the cliff, one he couldn't place. Malcolm was shocked from the connection by a sudden bout of vertigo. He rocked back on his feet and took a few uneasy steps backwards before falling. Godric rushed to his side, arms outstretched as if he had tried and failed to catch the man.
“Malcolm! Are you all right?”
“Fine,” Malcolm held his left hand out in front of him for balance, the right pressed to the earth beside him. He felt lightheaded and heavy all at the same time. “It's been a long trial.”
“Up we get!” Godric helped him to his feet. “Ease up on the abilities… your eyes look pretty bad.”
“Bloodshot?”
“Quite,” the man agreed. “Green surrounded by a ring of red.”
“Where's the ring?”
“Why don't you let me hold onto it,” Godric insisted. “I don't think it's good for you.”
Malcolm narrowed his gaze but didn't argue, Godric must have seen more than he had let on. “For now,” he nodded.
The mortalborn headed towards the house. “Are you coming?” he looked over his shoulder at Malcolm.
“I'll be in soon…”
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:33 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 593
Malcolm
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Malcolm wandered towards the fence again and closed his hands over the top rail. He leaned forwards, resting his temple upon his hands, one held over the other, and felt his stomach heave. Hot tears burned against his eyes before he blinked them away from his blurred vision and held his breath, trying not to throw up. Elyna was going to kill herself? How could he have been so blind to her misery? Was he the cause? He gasped, as if the world didn't hold enough air for his lungs, suffocated by the thought of a world without her in it. The mortalborn closed his eyes and fought to slow his breathing.
“Have I loved you to death?”
“Malcolm?” Avari called.
The knight wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt and straightened up. “Come home to me,” he whispered.
“Do you want some tea?”
Malcolm walked back to the house slowly and took Elsie from Ava. “No,” he said. “I just need some rest… we both need some rest,” he pulled the baby closer and retreated to the master bedroom, the door closed behind him.
Last edited by Malcolm on Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:34 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 188
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Comments: Wow. I really feel for Malcolm. I haven't read a ton-ton of his stories, but I do know how he and Elyna have been struggling, and it's awful to see him so torn apart, he usually seems quite strong. The writing was evocative, I could sense Malcolm's devotion to Elsie especially, and that he might have left Elyna if not for realizing what she had gone through. He's such a softie when it comes to his family and makes the mistake, like many do, to blame himself for someone else's suffering even if he didn't personally cause it. I hope to see Elyna and Malcolm begin to repair their relationship, though having read Elyna's attempted suicide and Vri's punishment, it may be a difficult trip ahead.
Story: Really good. Well paced. Nothing was under- or over-stated. Very well done.
Structure: I didn't see any errors on the read-through, so kudos to you for that!

Malcolm

CS: CS is approved and up-to-date.

Knowledge:
Avari: Shared a cabin with Godric
Avari: Elsie is beautiful
Childcare: Soothing a troubled baby
Childcare: Rocking a baby
Childcare: Holding a baby gently, with care
Deception: Lying to save face
Discipline: Slowing your breathing
Discipline: Controlling your grief
Elsie: Malcolm's first daughter
Elyna: Ran away on the back of a Volareon
Elyna: Left Elsie behind
Elyna: Hid what had been causing her distress
Elyna: Abused by Marcus
Elyna: Marked by Marcus on her leg
Elyna: A scar on her leg that looks like a dragon
Elyna: Brave, or distrustful?
Elyna: Wanted to commit suicide
Etiquette: Introducing guests to your home
Godric: Shared a cabin with Ava
Godric: Snores
Godric: Helpful
Godric: Concerned about you and your family
Godric: Perceptive
Investigation: Reading letters to find clues
Medicine: Self-care is important in times of distress
Malcolm: Anger can blind you
Malcolm: A loved one's pain adds to your own
Malcolm: Forgetting to eat
Malcolm: In grief
Malcolm: Caused Elyna's misery?
Psychology: Lying to yourself

Loot: -1 documented will, thrown into the fire. -1 letter from Elyna, balled up and tossed to the flames. Feel free if you want to add a more specific knowledge to your CS in place of the Elyna: Hid what had been causing her distress as I don't know what information was contained in the letter Elyna wrote that he burned. Also feel free to appropriately alter the knowledge Elyna: Abused by Marcus because I had to guess about that one too. Same goes with the Elyna: Marked by Marcus on her leg.
Injuries: Bloodshot eyes and anxiety due to having used the Eternal Bond. Nosebleeds due to having used Burning Touch to soothe and care for Elsie. Malcolm will feel exhausted, as if having been drained of energy for the next few days. Godric, too, will have bloodshot eyes and be tired for the next few days, having used his Psychometry ability.
Fame: +2 Solving a mystery (the source of Elyna's turmoil)
Devotion: None.

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 0/5
Structure: 5/5
Magic: You CANNOT use the XP awarded for magic.
Feel free to PM if you have any comments, questions, or concerns!
word count: 541
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