• Mature • Mistakes

32nd of Ymiden 716

The capital city of the of Rynmere, here is seated the only King in Idalos.
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Elyna
Approved Character
Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:31 pm
Race: Naerikk
Profession: Official Troublemaker
Renown: 231
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The Skyrider knew that her mistake, had been waiting outside the front door before making a run for the tree. Heart racing, she’d paused and listen to Malcolm pad though the household and struggling out of his shirt. She was grinning like an idiot. The hard baked ground softening beneath damp toes and the sun warm on her face. The morning smelt of promise and summer, of forthcoming heat. Hearing Malcolm return from the bedroom, she’d started running across the land towards the tree, intending to climb and slip safely out of reach.
The man’s long legs closed the distance between them though and she was caught, laughing as she landed and rolled onto her back. Pinned she wriggled, trying to escape but found her arms weakened with mirth and ineffective at taking hold of his hands and pushing them aside. The young woman shrieked with laughter, “No! hah! It was an accident-” she gasped for air, arching as she tried lifting a knee and rolling to the side, failure and the hands remained merciless on her sides and stomach, “I just – I slipped ahahah…please Malcolm!” The more he tickled her, the less she could do and eventually she had to bend, stomach aching as she tried to move. Cheeks flushed from smiling she managed to curl her fingers through his and hold them still, level with her ears.
“As clean as you’ll ever be!” she retorted, eyes dropping slowly over the bare chest before raising once more with a wicked grin. The air had cleared, peace had been restored and she returned the kiss with loving affection. As they broke for air she tilted her head to one side in the grass, searching eyes that reflect the vibrant summer hue and her smile softened.
“I’ll paint the window,” she promised, “I’ll do whatever it is that needs doing Mal. We’ll be ready for whenever you come home…” eyes turned serious before she lent up and pressed a kiss to his cheek and sank back down, resting her head in the grass and wildflowers.
“Think of some names for me? Before you go?”
word count: 361
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Rumour
Prophet of Old
Posts: 2295
Joined: Wed May 11, 2016 3:47 am
Race: Prophet
Renown: 0
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Name: Elyna

Knowledge:
Basic Knowledge:
Malcolm: 420 Arcs Old in Vhalar 716
Malcolm: Protector
Malcolm: Strategist
Avari: Mortalborn
The Story of Avari Krome and Zor: True Story
The Story of Avari Krome and Zor: Malcolm’s Memory
Malcolm: Loved Avari 300 Arcs Ago
Rynmere Story: The Three Craftsmen

Specialized Knowledge:
Malcolm: Wrote you into his will
Rhetoric: More effective when you make eye contact
Meditation: Repetitive acts can be meditative
Seduction: Kisses are a useful tool to end an argument

Loot:
+1 letter from Elyna’s commander
+1 Malcolm’s will

Injuries: N/A
Fame: N/A

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
- - -
Name: Malcolm

Knowledge:
Basic Knowledge:
Avari: Mortalborn
Rynmere Story: The Three Craftsmen

Specialized Knowledge:
Elyna: No longer loves Yoreth
Seduction: The neck is a sensitive and sensual place to kiss
Seduction: Women like to hear the words “you’re right”
Seduction: Kisses are a useful tool to end an argument
Carpentry: How to use a drill
Strategy: Stand on the same footing as the person you anger

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: N/A

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
- - -
Comments: Another lovely thread, you two! There were many moments that made me laugh and smile and wince. You do a wonderful job of illustrating the day-to-day interactions, the little things, that make up a relationship. You write a very real relationship between Elyna and Malcolm, where it's not all rainbows and sunshine and flowers even two days after they get married! There's tension and disagreements and a desire for perfection, despite its impossibility. Well done!

One small note - please make sure the items you own in your threads are purchased and accounted for in your possessions list on your CS (for example, drill, sewing kit, etc). You may purchase these items from the Price List.

As always, please don't hesitate to reach out if I've missed anything in this review or if you have any questions. I'm looking forward to your next thread!
word count: 342
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"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."
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