Slipping

[Elyna]

87th Vhalar

Elyna had never been so glad to see the back of the city. She loved Andaris but it was so good to be going home. Wearing normal clothes, normal breaches, shirt, leather jerkin and cloak she’d also wrapped her scarf around her neck. Elsie was wrapped up in blankets against the cold and cradled in her arms as Malcolm steered the wagon. As eager as the Skyrider was to see Ember and be near the horses, she had agreed it was far easier to transport their precious bundle in the wagon. Elsie had stared at the world around them in her first journey outside the house. Deep green orbs trying to bring the world into focus.
Absorbed in the child. Elyna found herself smiling as the baby wriggled in blankets, freeing an arm, then a foot. She was becoming more adapt at wrapping her back up again. Though fear still gripped her chest at odd points. Worried that she’d somehow do something wrong, or drop her. Would the baby be too hot, or too cold? The young woman didn’t know what she would have done without Malcolm, of Faith for that matter. Malcolm was able to impart wisdom and experience. He didn’t seem afraid of hold the baby wrong and when Elyna had panicked that first night, had shown her how to wind the baby so that air wasn’t trapped in tiny lungs.
Her Mother hadn’t been pleased to find the Mortalborn asleep on the bed and Malcolm had spent the next two trials between the Burhan estate and the city itself. Another reason that Elyna had been keen to return to their house as soon as possible. She'd asked Faith to follow in a couple of breaks, so that sleeping arrangements could be put in place.
With a hand on the wagon, Elyna climbed down the stairs and followed the man into the house. The memory of his lips brushing her’s circled her thoughts. Unsure what was dreamt and what was real of that first day, Elyna wasn’t sure if Malcolm had kissed her; or not? There hadn’t been any further demonstrations between them, of affection but instead the silence had returned.
She could only blame herself. Exhausted, Elyna focused on returning to the house safely. Once inside she slid her boots off and carried the sleeping child into the original bedroom and set her down in the fresh linens of the cradle. That done she slipped out of the room once more. Elyna left the door open behind her so that any noises would be heard. It was then that she stood in the centre of the room. Uncertain what she should be doing with herself. Tiredness followed her like a shadow, sapping her strength and she looked at the house, blank of thoughts or words. Alone with Malcolm, the quiet was suffocating.
“She’s asleep,” She explained. He knew that though. She looked across the surfaces, clean and clear. The house was spotless. The woman wet dry lips. Had she forgotten how to make conversation? Elyna followed old habits and moved to set the fire. It was such an amazing thing to be able to move again, and almost freely. Willow back in tea took the edge off lingering pain and she was having less of the substance. Her mother had insisted on wraps around her middle again, beneath her clothing in a hope to assist her shape to return more quickly. Elyna couldn’t have cared less, after all it didn’t matter what she looked like. An arranged marriage would be impossible and she had no interested in following her Mother’s wishes in that respect. Despite Caelan’s continued hope that a nice young noble man might want a bride. It was too complicated to explain she had married Malcolm and no way to explain that Vanessa was alive. So she simply listened in silence to the plans and mothers hopeful insistence. It wasn’t going to happen.
The cauldron was heavy, too heavy for her to lift and her brows knotted with frustration before she set the handle down again. Facing the fire the woman shut her eyes. Pushing her face into her palms she suppressed a soft moan but the tears were falling.

[Malcolm]

Elsie was asleep, it was about the only thing Elyna had said to him all day. On the wagon he had been vigilant. The city, the road, the world, everything posed as a danger now he had something more important than himself to protect. Elsie occupied so much of his time and thoughts that the man could only be described as besotted, completely and utterly enamoured by the new girl in his life.
Having noticed the noble woman trying to lift the cauldron from the corner of his eye, Malcolm went to the fireplace and took the heavy pot from her. “Elyna, be patient, your strength has not yet returned.”
The pot was taken to the sink and filled with water, gravity fed from the tank he had set up in Ymiden. Malcolm returned the cauldron to the fireplace and left it to heat up and bubble away. He hadn't noticed the woman's tears, instead disappearing into the guest bedroom to pack his things. Malcolm had a few days leave on account of Elise’s birth, but he would need to return to the city soon to start training knights. It would be too much to ask the new recruits to travel all the way out to the farm every day, and he knew there wasn't enough room for him in the house. Now that his arm was fully healed, however, he could climb into the loft in the barn and take up one of the beds there.
Upon his return to the living room, and with the guest room all clean and ready for Faith to move in temporarily, he put his bag down by the door and looked to check that the cauldron wasn't boiling over on his way to the sink. It was then he noticed Elyna, slumped in one of the chairs holding her face, and crying.
“Ely?” Malcolm went straight to her side and took a knee. “Dearheart what's wrong?” He took one of her hands and stroked her hair back from her face. “Hey, hey,” he cooed, “none of that, you'll find your strength again soon,” he promised her, oblivious to the real reason she was crying. “Come here,” he put his arms around her and rubbed his hand over her side. Malcolm could feel the wrap beneath her clothing and recalled that Vanessa had done something much the same. Elyna wouldn't need it though, he thought, she was far more active than Vanessa had ever been and would soon return the her pre-baby-shape.
“Ben has promised to cover for me for the next few trials. I have a lecture the trial after tomorrow, and I will come home every night before bed to make sure you want for nothing.”

[Elyna]

The young woman was left in awe as the cauldron was collected with ease. She watched Malcolm, only moving to step aside as he returned with the heavy metal vessel. It had been something she could do. Lifting heavy objects, filling pots with water. She’d never had to think about her strength or worry about such things before the pregnancy. The baby was born and in many ways her body had not returned to her, nor her strength. On one level she knew that she was expecting too much. Malcolm was right, she needed to be patient and the strength would return. There had been a secret hope though, that with Elsie now in the world she could spring back into her usual life. That was impossible though. Life was changed. Completely and irrevocably altered.
Would they think she was a terrible Mother for crying? Would they think she didn’t deserve Elsie because she couldn’t stop the floods of tears? They came in waves of sobs and she sank into the chair, fingers pushed through her hair. Tugging at the strands as she struggled trying to calm the racing of her heart and the frantic spin of her thoughts. Was she stupid because she’d never sat and considered all the ways her life would change? It had been so important to protect the growing bump. The Skyrider knew also that she would give her life in a heartbeat for her child. Even in the depth of despair, she listened for a sign of movement. No matter which way she turned, she was doing something wrong or displeasing someone she cared about.
Malcolm dropped down beside her, quick to offer comfort. Her hand felt cool against his palm. Arms wrapped around in support. Friendly, helpful, caring support. He was trying, he was trying so hard so she nodded in agreement. Yes she knew. She agreed with silent motions. She hoped that her strength would return, that she could ride a horse again soon or visit the mews. She wanted to be able to protect herself. Carrying Elsie had made her vulnerable in ways she’d found hard to accept. Though the baby was born and safely delivered, she was overwhelmed with relief that her actions in Saun hadn’t caused permanent harm. There were still the scars though, carved into her flesh that served as a poignant reminder that she had failed. She’d failed Elsie, Malcolm and she had failed herself.
The Mortalborn would return each night to make sure she wanted for nothing. She closed her eyes tight against the glare from the fireplace. What if she wanted him? Head bowed the young woman nodded again. She pressed her palms into her eyes. The Skyrider dragged a breath in through tired lungs. What then? What happened in ten trials, or twenty? What happened when the season turned colder and Malcolm left in search of rebels? She drew her scarf across the skin beneath her eyes to dry them. Cheeks turned red, rubbed raw by hands scrabbling for control. Any kind of control that she could find, even if it was to simply stop crying or hide unwanted tears. The heat from the fire was making her head spin. Crackling embers lit the chimney on their ascent.
“It’s okay…I’m okay. It’s – they said it’d be like this. The third day, they said I’d be like this,” she attempted a smile. Unable to meet his gaze, Elyna looked up. Peering through the fresh flowers and out of the window. “I think – I think Faith will be here soon,” she whispered and felt a jolt in her heart. Sanctuary. She couldn’t look at Malcolm and so fixed her eyes on the stubble lining his jaw. Blank, she had to be careful and she had to remain blank. She had to be sure that he wouldn’t see that she was no longer drowning. She had gone. Immersed in dark water and watching him from a distance. They had come so close and she’d felt the sparks dancing between them, polite, friendly sparks of two adults trying to do the best for their child. Theirs was a path of two people zigzagging across parallel lines, occasionally coming into contact with one another. Did he still love her? He was besotted by their daughter and she loved him all the more for that... It was a devotion she did not deserve for herself. He was going to return to the city he’d said. In a few trials he needed to go back to train his army.
"Mal," Elyna laid her heavy gaze on his collar, "if it wasn't for Elsie, would you still be here?"

[Malcolm]

There was just the sound of the fire burning through a dry log at the woman’s back for a long few seconds as Malcolm gave the woman's question considerable thought before offering his answer. “No,” he replied, wary. “Because you're a lot better at fighting than I ever gave you credit for, and without Elsie holding you back I think you would have sent me packing the moment I turned up on that door,” Malcolm smiled and squeezed one of Elyna’s hands. “But I never would have been far and I don't think my feelings would have changed for you,” he admitted.
The knight bowed his head. “It's hard to love someone you can't trust, and the trial I left for Ne’hear without telling you what I thought I knew I made a lie of everything we were. I’ve embarrassed you and your good name, I let you down. It doesn't matter what I hope, what I left unsaid is not something I expect to be forgiven. I love you, Elyna, and our beautiful daughter is a blessing, one I would never wish undone or returned. Every moment is still as vivid and wonderful in my mind as when it was lived. The first time I saw you, the first time I kissed you, the moment I realised I loved you, and every moment after that.”
Malcolm lifted Elyna’s hands and kissed her folded fingers. “I'll sleep in that barn for an arc if I must… I know that perhaps the passion is gone for you, but unless you can convince me that there is no love here, here I will remain.” Malcolm levelled his gaze with Elyna’s, looking up into her eyes. “I want to fix this, please let me try.”

[Faith Augustin]

There was no doubting it, this was unlike anywhere she had served before. Not because it was a home, she was used to serving Tristan in his home after all. However, Faith had never served a family before; that was what they were the three of them, a family. It was not her place to comment on, or even see, the dynamic there but it was nonetheless a new experience for her, juggling what needed to happen in order for her to carry out her duties seamlessly. In preparation for Lady Elyna, Ser Malcolm and Miss Elsie, Faith had been here the trial before and had cleaned the place. Thankfully, she thought with a smile, it was not reminiscent of when Tristan had first bought her, cleaning his home had taken a half dozen trials in and of itself. This place just needed a spruce up and a clean to bring it back to the level that Faith thought was acceptable, having stood empty for a few trials. There were fresh flowers in windows, freshly made and aired beds and clean surfaces. Cushions were plumped and ready and Faith had made sure to put some of the supplies for Miss Elsie near both her cot and where Lady Elyna tended to sit. Small touches, but she hoped that they made things more convienient for the new mother.

And then, this morning, Faith had walked into town to the market in order to fill up the cupboards with food. Lady Elyna had given her money to do so and Faith had approached the task with care and diligence. However, the fifty golden coins which Lady Elyna had given her had weighed a lot less than the food she brought back with her. Vegetables, flour, meat and fruits, each of which added to the load, as well as spices, herbs and oils. So, her walk back had been slower than she would have liked, laden as she was. Still, she carried the weight as evenly distributed as she could and she maintained a steady pace.

But that meant that she was here later than she had wanted to be and, obviously, had not got back before Lady Elyna had returned. As she approached, Faith saw that they were here and her lips pursed in disapproval of herself for not keeping up the pace more or for spending too much time choosing just the right fruits to tempt Lady Elyna with. But there was nothing that could be done for it now and even the determined young slave had to admit that she had gone as fast as she could. Her arms were shaking with exertion, as were her legs, but she maintained. Faith was not a particularly strong woman, nor had she ever been, but she was determined and used to enduring physical discomfort, so she breathed in and tried to make sure that at least looked a little presentable when she entered. It was a difficult task as she was carrying more than she should for longer than she should and she looked dishevelled and hot and sweaty, but she could not do more than hope that they did not notice and just enter the house.

And enter she did. Laden down with bags and sacks and more bags the young slave came in as quietly as she could, which is to say not very quietly at all as the door thumped shut behind her. She tried to curtsy to the two of them, but her trembling legs and unevenly distributed weight meant it was more of a bob, really. When she smiled at them, it was apologetic for what she saw as the shambles she was creating, quite unaware that her presence might have been interrupting any sort of moment, "I am sorry, I meant to have the cupboards filled before you arrived. Would you like a cup of tea?" she asked, making her way to the kitchen where she would put down the bags with a palpable sigh of relief, before getting about the task of clearing away the contents so that they did not disturb the owners of the house. Of course, the other thing that she did was put the kettle on if either of them wished it.

Off Topic

50gn deducted from Elyna's ledger for the foodstuff

[Elyna]

At his initial answer, her heart skipped a beat. Head bowed with the expected rejection she barely heard the words that followed. A compliment paid in heartfelt words. How could he be sure though, how could he think highly of her? Surely if he knew, then his opinion would change. The woman squeezed his fingers in reply. What followed caused the woman to bow under the weight of emotion. Shoulders folded in she tried to make herself as small as possible. It was hard to love someone you couldn’t trust. He was right. His words touched all the chords of her heart in gentle melody. Elyna wanted to reach out to the man. Her trust in him had been shattered, and it wasn’t entirely his fault. What of his trust in her? My wife is unfaithful, it was true. She had been unfaithful and bestowed more than a simple kiss. Elyna felt like she was made of porcelain. If she had been, cracks would have been spreading over fragile skin. Not two trials away and she’d kissed Vakhanor…and yet he remained.
”I know that perhaps the passion is gone for you, but unless you can convince me that there is no love here, here I will remain.” Malcolm levelled his gaze with Elyna’s, looking up into her eyes. “I want to fix this, please let me try.”
She couldn’t avoid his gaze any longer and lifted her gaze from his collar. Lips parted in an answer that was a struggle to find. There was no longer any forgiveness to give, because it had already been given in silence and his continued respect for the boundaries she’d set. “You have no reason to trust me either,” she breathed, “I was unfaithful. I do not deserve your devotion-”
Faith burst through the doors in a flurry of bags and cold air and saw Elyna leaping to her feet. The young woman crossed to the slave, brows drawn in a frown “Faith, you didn’t carry all this down from the city, alone?” She demanded, concerned for the girls safety. What if she’d been attacked? She collected up a sack with both hands and dragged it across the floor towards the kitchen, easier to unpack. She looked up and across at Malcolm, hoping to disguise the way her voice and fingers shook.
A plaintive cry rose at that moment from the room and the Skyrider fled so fast that she tripped over her own feet. She stumbled through the door and collected herself in the dark. She smoothed hands over her shirt, pushed her hair back from her face. It was then she bowed, slow and careful to collect her daughter, taking a seat on the bed with her back to the door and fed the baby. Small hands grasped warm skin and wide eyes met hers. She smiled down at the tiny person and hushed her back to sleep once she’d finished eating. With Elsie back in the cradle, Elyna stood to return to the main room.
The world turned darker as she did so and she wondered if night had fallen as she’d nursed. Confused, she frowned and took another step forward. Until her legs gave way and buckled beneath her. Hands out she managed to break her fall on the hard wooden floors and she dreamt.
The loud thump of her fall however had disturbed the resting child. Little arms and legs shot with surprise and green eyes searched the dimly lit room. A wail started along with tears of frustration that precious sleep had been disturbed.

[Malcolm]

It had taken them almost fifty trials, but finally they were getting somewhere, only for the moment to be interrupted by Faith, who appeared to have walked all the way down from the city to the farm carrying more than her fair share of groceries. Malcolm found the edge of the table with his left hand and rose slowly as Elyna dashed to help the slave. He watched as she took one of the bags and had to drag it along the floor, lifting only one item at a time to place them on the countertop, as if all of the strength had been sapped from her form.
Elsie cried, and hoping to make himself useful, Malcolm made a move to collect the baby, only to have a Elyna beat him. She tripped and he found himself reaching out to help, but the noble woman was on her feet again before he could even cross the room. Malcolm stood torn, knowing that Elyna did not like an audience while feeding the child, and so he returned to the kitchen to help Faith put the shopping away.
He was good for teaching up into the high cupboards and lifting the heavy stuff, like the flour and jars. “If you don't know how to ride a horse, we will have to teach you. Maybe this afternoon you can have a lesson. That road is far too dangerous for you to be walking it alone,” the man warned. “I have two horses, Red and Mithril, I'll introduce you and you can let me know which you prefer. You'll be free to use the animal for the length of your stay,” the man smiled, the gesture warm and inviting, he was grateful Faith would be here to help Elyna settle in at home again. Red was probably a little bit flighty for a beginner, he thought then, and the Andalusian seemed to have a much nicer temperament.
“Tea sounds lovely. There is some water boiling over the fireplace already or you can test out the new brick oven,” he pointed to the corner of the kitchen where the kettle could be heated up on the hot plate. “We both prefer tea, but you're welcome to help yourself to anything you like while you are staying here. The guest room is all set and if you need me for anything, I'll be out in the barn most nights.” Malcolm hadn't admitted that he would be staying in the barn, rather that he worked late and would do his best to stay out of their way most evenings. “Cold water runs to both of the taps in the kitchen and bathroom, but if you want hot you'll have to boil it. I ca---,” there came a loud thump from behind him, and Malcolm whipped around to race to Elyna’s side.
Elsie started crying and after helping Elyna to her feet, he swept her up to carry her to the bed. Malcolm asked Faith to continue preparing the tea, knowing Elyna wouldn't like being made a fuss of. Malcolm put Elyna down on the bed and assured her that Elsie was fine before he went to collect the baby and set her down in Elyna’s arms to help calm the both of them. He couldn't understand why she was so faint, but insisted she stay off her feet for the rest of the day.
“You're doing too much, too soon, it's been a long trip,” he rubbed her poor, knocked knees and looked at the woman's hands to make sure they were all right before taking Elsie. “Don't be afraid to wrap her up nice and snug,” he showed her, tucking the babe up in the blanket, “she's used to confined spaces remember, its familiar, safe, and warm,” the knight smiled and held a much more contented Elsie in one arm while he sat facing Elyna.
Concerned, he pointed out that perhaps she should consider taking the wraps off, that perhaps they were constricting her midsection too much and may have caused some lightheadedness. “Do you need anything? Should I fetch a doctor?”

[Faith Augustin]

"Oh, Lady Elyna please, no, it's fine" she said and sighed as Lady Elyna proceeded to drag the sack across the floor "It is against the slave code of conduct you know" she said in her whispered tone as she at least tried to help the Lady with the dragging, a smile tugging at her lips as she looked at the noble lady "There might be an inspector and, should you be dragging sacks whilst there is a slave in the house, it's an on the spot fine" her quiet sense of humour kicked in at odd times, but Faith was quite serious in being determined to serve the absolute best she could. She smiled at Lady Elyna and opened her mouth to thank her when the baby began to cry; Lady Elyna turned and moved to rush to her daughter, tripping on the way. Faith, like Malcolm, moved forwards to try and catch her, albeit her reactions were much slower than the man's were. But the Lady made her way into her bedroom to feed her daughter. Whilst that happened, Faith continued to put the foodstuff away.

But then Malcolm ~ Ser Krome! she reminded herself harshly ~ came to help her and Faith really wished he wouldn't. Not a little bit, a very big lot was how much she wished he wouldn't. It was a small space, he was everywhere in it and insisted on lifting heavy things which only caused his muscles to move in ways that were more than a little distracting to the slave girl. His proximity made her flustered and she reverted to formal as she always did when feeling uncomfortable. "I have ridden a horse, Ser Krome. From Venora to Krome when I first accompanied Lord Venora, when I met Lady Elyna and was given to her as a gift, then back to Andaris we were on horses, Lady Elyna wished it after the zombie attack." she explained with a smile and the expression of a woman who believed that the man she was talking to knew exactly what she was talking about. "Lord Venora told me that he believed horses can understand the common tongue" Famula, why was she wittering at this man? Why not just be quiet? Because when she was quiet all she could hear was the sound of him breathing, or moving or something. "So I spoke to mine a lot. It did not have a name though, so I called it horse. But I have more food to collect this afternoon, I could not carry it all. If I may, a horse would be useful. Thank you, Ser Krome" she explained, apologetically. On his instruction on where to find him though, she nodded and she was listening to his explanation when there was a loud thump.

They both moved, immediately, although Ser Krome was faster by far and he instructed her to continue making the tea. This she did, although worry for Lady Elyna creased her forehead. She had read about pregnancy and birth and indeed it sounded like it was very traumatic on the body. Faith had read that women were tired and out of sorts after birth for a good length of time, and Lady Elyna was pushing herself so might well be extending that, she knew. She made a cup of tea and sweetened it, then waited outside the door until it was appropriate that she pass the tea to Ser Krome or be allowed into the room. She made sure to mention that Lord Venora had given her some training in medical matters and she had studied under a doctor for a short while. She would be happy to help any way she could, but she told Ser Krome that, or Lady Elyna (depending on where they wanted her to be) in her usual quiet and earnest way. And internally, she promised herself that she was going to cook the best food that she had ever cooked in order to give Lady Elyna the energy she needed to heal.

[Elyna]

Wraps? What was he talking about? The young woman, despite having staggered back to her feet with assistance, was disorientated. Head pounding she tried to make out the shape of Malcolm in the dim light. Caught up with fussing and soothing the disgruntled baby placed in her arms. Malcolm took Elsie back. Frustrated by the lack of light, Elyna turned and pulled the curtains open. A shaft of light split the floor in two and showed up the dust she’d disturbed in her fall. After moving the fabric her arms dropped listless to the blankets and she nodded. Finally able to comprehend what he’d said she shifted, edging down the bed. She slid a hand beneath her shirt to pull at the fastening. The knot undone it was a simple process to unwind the linen from her core and discard it without care on the floor, “she wants me to get married,” she muttered beneath her breath. Stupid, stupid, stupid idea. If she hadn’t been so tired she would have argued against the wrap herself, but recently it was simply easier to accept the will of others. People who knew better, or made better decisions for her.
“I’m fine,” she forced more energy than she felt into the words, “I don’t need a Doctor, I’m just…I’m tired,” eyes threatened to close as she sat. Faith entered the room accompanied by the sweet aroma of honeyed-tea and the Skyrider smiled in welcome. The dark-haired girl explained that she had experience with Doctoring and the young woman nodded in agreement, “she’s really…really good with bandages,” she explained “a-and cleaning out bleeding clothes,” vouching for Faith’s competence and prowess as medic was her intention. However her head felt heavy on her neck. The young woman curled up, tongue thick with exhaustion as though drunk.
“Did you offer Faith a horse?” Her mind was quick to wander, “the black socky one…black horse with socks. Not woollen ones, white ones,” eyes threatened to close again. Elyna pulled the pillow nearer, wrapping her arms around it to cuddle. “He’s a nice horse…” her breathing slowed and she drifted. “I’ll go to sleep. I won’t get up, I promise.”

[Malcolm]

“Mithril,” he told the woman, “but she's welcome to take the stocky black one if she prefers.” Malcolm knew Elyna would not put Faith on a dangerous horse, and so the black mount of hers might have been better than the speckled grey Andalusian who could be a little jumpy. He wanted to ask about the situation Faith had brought up, and the zombies and such, but realised he would probably get more out of the slave than his exhausted wife.
The knight reach out and pressed the back of his hand to Elyna’s forehead and then to the back of her neck; she didn't appear to have a fever but he thought it better to be safe than sorry.
Malcolm left the room, abandoning his tea to the side table, he waited for Faith to return from the room and rocked Elsie with care, hoping to put her to sleep. “You need to cook meaty meals,” he told her, “It was near impossible to get her to eat anything with meat in it while she had been carrying Elsie. Meat might help improve her strength,” he was quite sure. Elsie closed her eyes, soothed by the man’s deep voice, it wasn't long before she returned to sleep too. Malcolm had no intention of putting her down though, knowing that he would be busy in the coming days with work, he didn't want to miss any opportunities to hold her.
Again the urge to ask what had gone on with this so called zombie attack surged within him, but Malcolm wondered what else Faith might tell him by mistake if he made it seem that he knew everything. He took a wild stab in the dark and went with his gut. “Back in Krome when you were gifted to Elyna, what did you think of my son Marcus?”