Ask and it will be given

[Malcolm]

67 Vhalar 716

A shock of cold air saw his lungs burn, choking him from the dream as Malcolm gasped and sat up. The sky was pink and yellow, boasting the first light of a new dawn. The mortalborn’s arms felt heavy and stiff as he opened and closed his fingers a few times to try and promote better circulation of his blood and warm chilled finger-tips. Malcolm opened his right hand and looked down at it as if it had offended him. The dream had been so real, yet no blood painted his rough hands. Sweat beaded on his brow and ran down over his right cheek to catch in his stubble. One more night in the hay and he was going to go crazy.
With a tug of the rope that led up into the loft, the knight got to his feet and brushed off the straw that clung to his clothing. Elyna had informed him that there were beds up above the ground floor in the loft, but all the strength had gone from his arms after a day of building, and sporting a new wound that still stung, he had opted to curl up in a blanket on the floor again and given in to exhaustion. After donning a new shirt and a fresh pair of woollen socks, the man was out through the double doors, frosty mud on the drive flattened under his boots as he headed straight for the house to make sure Elyna was okay.
A knock at the door went unanswered and after calling out a couple of times, Malcolm circled the building and drummed his fist against the boarded up window that led into the bedroom. “Ely?” He called, but still no reply.
Having built and installed the bathroom window in ymiden, Malcolm understood best how the latch worked and managed to wiggle the catch free with a thin twig he had found on the ground. He pulled the window open and jumped up to try and lift himself up in through the window. It took a few attempts and reopened the cut on his right arm, causing it to bleed through the bandages, but finally he had managed to get inside. Malcolm fell into the bathtub with a light thud and winced, having knocked his knee on the edge. The knight rubbed the tender skin through the material of his pants and climbed out of the bath to then slip out of his boots and move through the cottage quietly. He felt like a stranger in his own home, unwelcome and dangerous.
The door to their bedroom had been left slightly ajar, and he wrapped his finger around the handle before pushing it open with one hand on the door, while he pulled back with his other hand around the knob, keeping the wooden divide from squeaking. Inside the room, Elyna was on her side, curled up in the middle of the bed with the blankets pulled up over her shaking shoulders. A light sobbing sound called him to investigate further, and as he came to stand at the edge of the bed, he realised she was crying.
“Ely?” Malcolm reached out and closed a gentle hand against her shoulder, his fingers a lot warmer now. When she didn't respond to his touch, Malcolm squeezed and tried to turn her so that she might look at him. “Elyna, what's wrong?” Concern settled in the deep lines in the centre of his brow and at the edge of his eyes. Was she still asleep?

[Elyna]

The dream had started with a different world. One where she’d never been married. Never stood barefoot at sunset and made vows to Malcolm. It had turned though and there had been so much blood and pain. She had begged the man for forgiveness. He’d offered it at first, confused by tears. But then he had withdrawn, angry. Without a backwards look he’d left her lying in long grass. Grass had turned to prickly straw and she’d woken. She’d sat up from the bed of horse feed confused. Stumbling to her feet the woman had limped out of the barn, struggling to see through a thick mist that covered the land. There had been familiar sound of the horses in the paddock. When she’d reached the gate, neither Ember nor Red had raced to greet her or lip her hands and skirts for treats. The gate had clicked open at her touch and she’d stepped into the field, barefoot. Her feet were cold on the frozen earth and she’d tiptoed forward and into a warm puddle. The rising pool of blood slid over her toes and the woman had sunk down, scrabbling in the dirt. Fingers closed around fur and she’d moaned allowed with pain. Fresh tears had fallen down icy cheeks and she’d crawled forward in search of the horses she suspected were dead. Ravaged by a wolf in the night. She found the body though, lying prone on the frozen mud and the scream had stuck in her throat. Bjorn. Tiny body prone and blood seeping from his skull. The mist closed in around the both and the woman bent double with grief, sobbing until a hand touched her shoulder.
Elyna turned heart thumping and tears damp of puffy cheeks. Disorientated she rubbed weary eyes and waited for them to clear and focus. Malcolm? Where was she? Had she woken up or was it another dream? There was a roaring sound in her ears, as though she lay deep underwater. The Mortalborn had asked her a question. The woman pulled air into her lungs as sleep finally started clearing. What had he asked? Tired limbs were heavy against the bed. He had asked her what was wrong. Disorientated and still half expecting to wake up again, the woman squinted. “I killed him.” Elyna wet cracked lips with a careful touch of her tongue. “I killed his little brother and I destroyed his whole world,” she explained. “Nothing I do, will ever be enough.”
There was a sharp throbbing pain the side of her temple. Crying always gave her a headache. The sensation of waking with tears on her cheeks was unremarkable. Usually though the dreams were less clear. Elyna wondered if she remembered them because she’d woken so fast.
Awareness seeped in. The fresh blood on his shirt and the smell of it. The press of soft sheets against her back. Feet that had grown cold overnight, despite an overlarge pair of woollen socks. There was a piece of straw in Malcolm’s hair and there was no mistaking the vivid green of his eyes. She was awake. The woman pulled in a breath and sat up slowly. She wore a warm shirt beneath the sheets but pulled the blankets with her. It was a crisp morning, with mist on the inside of the window panes.
“How did you get in?” She frowned certain that she’d locked the door the night before. He’d always been sneaky but usually she was a light sleeper. More so these days. Had she been so exhausted that she simply hadn’t heart him? Or was her body simply happy to ignore the sounds of him moving around the house. He was safe. She felt safer with him close by than she had all Vhalar. Maybe it was because she’d been dreaming of Malcolm before the dream had soured, but she lent forward and closed her fingers around the strand of straw and pulled it free. She twisted it between her fingertips before lifting her gaze to his.
He’d been gone for so long and she knew nothing of his travels. Nothing of what he had seen or done. Not even if his mission had been successful. She had assumed so because he had returned. Hopeful that he’d forget the nonsense murmurings of a waking mind. Would he leave now that she’d woken? She wanted him to stay.
“What was it like?” Her voice was soft, “was Ne’haer how you remembered it?”

[Malcolm]

Elyna sat up and Malcolm leaned forwards to fix the pillows behind her back before she leaned into them. The noble woman had mentioned killing someone and his heart sunk momentarily, Marcus was fine, he knew that, but what of Vaughn? He hadn't touched the mind of his younger son since his return and now he worried. It was then the right information came to light, and Malcolm knew Elyna was talking about that boy she believed she had been responsible for.
Forget Ne’haer, he thought, if Elyna was still losing sleep over this child, he wanted to get to the bottom of it. “It was horrible,” he admitted, “I hated almost every moment of it. As soon as my feet touched down on western soil, I was already dreaming about my return home.” A lie and he knew it, he had been longing for home the second he had stepped onto the ship bound for Ne’haer, but all that had changed because of the kiss, a kiss that has slowly turned his heart to stone.
“Tell me what happened,” he insisted, it seemed simply telling Elyna that she was not at fault would not do. “With the boy, tell me how he died?” He had sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out then to close his hand over one of her knees to offer reassurance.

[Elyna]

The woman wondered if she would always be surprised by the tenderness of his actions. It shouldnt have been unusual, Elyna had always been loved by her family, she knew that. However she'd spent the last decade taking care of herself and refusing to expect more from the people around her. It was harder to be let down that way.
With her immortal given ability, Elyna was well aware that Malcolm hadn't spoken the truth. How it was a lie, she was uncertain. He seemed unwilling to provide any details on his journey and she sank back against the cushions. The baby was asleep, but stirred at the sound of his voice. More and more she could feel the movements and make guesses as to its state of sleep or wakefulness. The woman reached forward once more and collected his hand. He had pulled away the night before, but something about her dreams the night before had made the closed scar on her thigh throb, and his palm was too close for comfort. She guided his hand to the bump and watched his expression.
It seemed too cruel. That she should be preparing to welcome young life when she had stolen it. The woman swallowed, aware that it was unlikely Malcolm would settle for anything less than the truth on this occasion. The winds whistled beyond the window and she shivered despite the many blankets. She wet dry lips once more, "I went to Burhan," that he already knew. "There was a smith on the boat, Vakh and his little brother Bjorn. They were playing this stupid game..." She smiled at the memory. It was hard though, the journey tied with so much pain at her parting with the mortalborn before her.
"I offered to take them out into the wilds to explore - one morning after the mist cleared." It was then that she took a deep breath. There was a lot to come and she was afraid that if she didn't say it one go, she wouldn't be able to. "I waited," the words even now were hard. " I waited till the mist was cleared. We met at the gate - they had a picnic... We went through. We...we were going to the river and back. A simple journey in range of the wall." She was staring at the hand on her bump. Unable to lift her gaze. "He ran off... There was a pocket and he ran from the track and it curled around him... He was screaming, Mal. I never heard anything like it... I lay on the ground and reached beneath it. I had to get him out so I pulled his leg." Her breath came in a sharp gasp, "he fell. He must have hit his head- He was- He was dead and it was...I led them out there Mal. They were in my care, my responsibility. They trusted me and now he's dead."

[Malcolm]

A slow, infectious smile manipulated his lips up from the frown they had fallen into as Elyna led his hand to her middle. There he could feel the baby inside of her move with curiosity to kick at the light pressure of his hand. It seemed cruel to smile, however, as the noble woman began her story, visibly upset by its retelling. It were as if vines had reached out with her words and wrapped around his heart to squeeze tight, the woman painting a picture that would upset any parent. He wanted to reach out and take her hand and pull the woman into a hug but their silent boundaries had been long agreed to, he was already in the house against her will and would not act further to defy her.
Malcolm, however, knew that he needed to say something. “You did what you thought was rig at the time… children can be fragile,” he admitted, “people in general are. Yes you took them beyond the wall but you were not the only adult there, and you did not make the decision to follow with child. Elyna it sounds to me that you did your best and acted as quickly as you could at the time. That man seems to be a good friend of yours, leading me to believe that he has found it in his heart to forgive you, perhaps you need to try and do the same?” He hoped at the very least that she could try to forgive herself.
Even with the news of the boy, he was selfish and couldn't help but feel a warmth spread through him as she used the simple nickname no one else called him by. Mal, by that name he was hers and hers only. The baby flipped all of the sudden and Malcolm lifted his hand, staring wide-eyed at the woman's belly. It had been such a strange feeling for him that he could only imagine what it must feel like for her. The mortalborn leaned forwards and put both hands on the woman’s belly, scolding the child in a deep, but gentle voice. “Go to sleep, little one.”

[Elyna]

The story had stolen her energy. As though she hadn't slept, the woman felt drained and exhausted. "I promised that they would be safe," she added softly. Children were fragile and she had been responsible for the death of a young man in her care for less than a break. "Nothing I do, will ever clear the debt I owe Vakhanor, Mal." With more words spoken between them so far that morning than had been exchanged in a season she was falling into old habits. Malcolm was right. It seemed that the smith had found a way to see past his pain. But guilt was a cloak of shadows. Easy to pull on and nearly impossible to shed. Guilt and shame had followed her back from Burhan and she kept her eyes fixed on his hand.

The baby flipped and she let out a soft gasp of surprise, a smile pulling at her own features as she looked up at the man and met his eyes. "He likes your voice," she admitted quietly, "I think he knows..." It always felt cruel that Malcolm should be excluded from these moments. Something the distance between them had forced. His fingers were warm on her stomach and the light that filtered through the crack in the curtain was touched with gold.

"I...I kissed Vakh because he was drowning and it's all my fault. What... If I can't do this Malcolm? What if I can't keep the child safe or well, or healthy?" The woman closed her eyes "when I was i-in Saun I drank-" the word froze on her tongue, "I had to slow my heart so you wouldn't know. What if it did something terrible? What if I've already done something that cannot be undone?"

[Malcolm]

It would be difficult to convince Elyna that it was okay for her to move on with her life, to respect Bjorn’s memory without holding onto the guilt and allowing that guilt to see her act against the person she knew she could be. Self destruction was an ugly path he had traversed a few times, one the mortalborn didn't want to watch his beloved take.
“Just wait until he finds his voice,” Malcolm smiled, “when they start answering back,” the smile morphed into an easy grin.
Malcolm’s main concern whenever Elyna spoke like this was that she spoke as if she were alone in the endeavor. He wasn't going anywhere, but after such a long journey and all that time away, the mortalborn doubted Elyna would take his words to heart, that only time and devotion would help her see that she had a good parented in crime in Malcolm. “You can't get this wrong,” his fingers brushed the top of her hand. “I'll be right here,” he paused, “right out there,” the man pointed over his shoulder in the direction of the barn, “to help in any way that I can.”
His eyes found hers in the dimly lit room, and he realised how tired she looked. Dreams in which she lost little boys had to be just as bad, if not worse, than the dream he had experienced. “Why don't you try and get some more sleep? I'll make you some tea and breakfast before I start work on the room. It should be finished before sunset.”
With that Malcolm got to his feet and left the bedroom. He went to the kitchen and put on some water to boil over the new brick oven he had purchased for the cottage, a luxury item very few houses in Rynmere could boast. The fire it needed to heat up was a lot smaller and didn't take as long to get going as that of the fireplace, so the water was boiling within minutes. Malcolm wasn't sure what Elyna was able to stomach so close to her due date now, so he went for something light, a piece of bread he was able to toast over the oven, half an avocado, and a soft boiled egg. He seasoned the food with a little salt and carried in the plate along with the tea, setting it down on the side table.
“Breakfast for two,” he smiled, touched the swell of her belly and left the room again to sit down at the table with his own meal, looking forward to the work ahead of him.

[Elyna]

With his gesture and his words the Mortalborn promised that he would be around to help. At the start of the season this would have prompted her frustration or even anger. A rebuttal that he was neither needed, wanted and nor were his false promises. Living in close proximity to the man once more Elyna had been painfully aware of the care he tried to take. The tacit agreement to keep his distance. An agreement that she was slowly growing tired of. After the bandits had attacked she had tried to broach the distance with gentle touches and a kiss to the back of his hand. The Mortalborn had thanks her for her kindness and left the house in only his boots. The thought made her smile as he left the room and alone with her thoughts.
Elyna closed her eyes so that she could focus on the scuff of his socks on the floorboards. The oven lit and water boiled. The clink of mugs, spoons, platters. No longer uneasy in his presence the woman realised that she was comforted by it instead. No, she didn’t believe that she could forgive herself for Bjorns death. However she could try. She would still be worried about the baby and the measures she’d taken to slow her heart. Malcolm hadn’t said anything about her words, or about the kiss to Vakhanor. As though he’d dismissed the conversation, as though it wasn’t important to him anymore. Her heart thudded with fresh worry. What if he didn’t care any longer and jealousy no longer snapped at his heels. At least the anger had been evidence that he wanted her, loved her still. Had passion slipped away in the silence? The alternative was that there were more important things on his mind than a single stupid kiss but the Skyrider knew the world better than to hope.
He returned with food which she accepted, grateful and suddenly shy. Then the Mortalborn retreated again. Elyna ate and drank quickly, mind slowly turning with fresh thoughts. Malcolm had always been one to perform his duty above all. He was here to protect her when she was vulnerable, or rather their child. He had married her because of the child too. Of that she’d never had much doubt. She’d announced the pregnancy and the offer had been his response. If she hadn’t fallen pregnant they wouldn’t have married. She would have gone with him to Ne’haer. A thousand tiny differences and yet she still couldn’t bring herself to regret the baby. Space and time and distance would only separate herself and Malcolm further though and she sank down into the covers, curling up.
The woman dozed until the sound of building woke her. It was then that she stretched and dressed. Wrapped the heavy cloak she’d stolen from the man, and armed with blankets and her sewing bag she slipped from the house to her space beneath the three. From the hill she could watch the building work. Elyna re-built an old fire and perched on a log, leant against the prickly trunk. Wrapped in the blankets she threaded her needle and started to stitch, determined to finish a few more gowns for the baby before starting embroidery on a soft blanket of pale yellow wool. The noise from the building was less intrusive, and the light was better. It was a crisp clear day with a few pale clouds stretched over the horizon. Pleased to realise that Ben had joined him she hoped that he’d be less tired by the end of the day. Her eyes lifted at every chance to watch the tall man with dark hair whenever he stepped into sight.
Every so often she would stand and stretch, making her way back to the house to prepare hot drinks for the Knights and herself. She made sure there was something warm for lunch and returned to her sewing. Elyna realised that she must have dozed again because early night was falling and the sound of hammering and sawing had ceased. She stood and shook off the thin layer of ice that had settled on the topmost blanket. She collected the finished gowns and folded them into the bag along with the blanket. The actions reminded her of a dream she’d had, that she’d been sitting beneath the tree with sketches and drawings balanced on her knees ready to send to Malcolm. It had never happened, it was a dream she was sure. She scuffed out the dying embers with her boot and made her way down the hill. Ben’s horse had gone.
“Mal?” She returned to the house with the sunset at her back.

[Malcolm]

Benjamin had come along as promised to help get everything done. With the two of them working together the build hadn't taken long at all and the walls had gone on inside and out. While Ben had finished installing the new window, Malcolm crouched over a makeshift ladder that he had put together using two long battens and lots of shorter pieces of timber to fit the rungs. Ben held the ladder while Malcolm climbed up onto the framework and waited for the tiles to be handed up so that they could begin work on the roof. It had taken the rest of the afternoon to finish the job, and Malcolm spent a little time after that fixing any existing tiles that had come loose since he had purchased the house in Ymiden, getting ready for the coming winter.
After waving Ben off, Malcolm had crawled under the house to check how the supports were holding up. He fixed a squeaky floorboard he had heard on his way out that morning, and tightened one of the links around the waterpipe from the sink before finishing for the day. With the room ready, he was able to move everything in. Not wanting to get any of the furniture dirty though, Malcolm removed his shirt and washed his hands before taking the drawers out of the dresser to make it lighter and therefore easier to lift by himself. After positioning the dresser and returning the drawers to to their rightful places, he stacked the baby’s things on top of the dresser, not sure how Elyna wanted organise them.
The cradle went into Elyna’s room before Malcolm sorted out the new queen sized bed for any guests the noble woman might invite around. Everything had a place now, and with insulation installed in the walls, the wind and cold wasn't likely to get it and cool the house down of an evening, meaning the fireplace wouldn't have to work too much harder to heat the house throughout. Benjamin had shown him how to pack the insulation tightly, having just finished work on his own place. With everything done, Malcolm sat down on the leather armchair he had purchased as a gift for Elyna, and closed his eyes for what he promised himself would only be a few minutes.
Malcolm had awoken with a start to the sound of Elyna’s voice. He raced up out of the chair and came out of the new room, looking around for his shirt and boots. “Sorry, I think I fell asleep,” he admitted. “Do you want something to eat?” The man wrestled with his shirt to try and untangle it from being inside out, both elbows and the belly of the shirt scuffed with dirt from crawling around under the house. “I can whip up something or just get out of your hair?”

[Elyna]

It was a welcome return to the house to find the furniture vanished into different rooms and no longer piled in the corner. Her hand closed on the handle to the new room before Malcolm raced out. A naughty boy caught where she shouldn’t been. Or that how he acted. She retreated a step, mouth falling open. The fireplace at her back was making her uncomfortably warm. Heat raced down her spine as her gaze moved slowly over the base skin of his shoulders. He had gained muscle in his absence. Shoulders and chest were broad and her lips felt dry. She wondered if the baby was pressing against her lungs again. It was harder to breath and she leant back against the table top. Her hands behind her as she rested.
The shirt was quick to cover taught skin however and her gaze was forced to drop in order to linger. Resting finally on his belt before she blinked. The woman shook herself and forced herself to look up again, meeting his expression. Whip, what? Hair? Elyna let out the little air her lungs had trapped.
“I was going to make dinner,” she offered. Unable to hold his gaze much longer she looked at the wall behind him. Curiosity pulled her forward over the floor. Kicking off her boots as she went. They were set beside the front door and she moved around Malcolm to stare at the new bedroom. The tightness in her chest only increased, her ribs too small for her heart. Silent as she moved around the room, moving her hands over the surface of the dresser before the trailed over the walls in her wake. Slow exploration of the alternative textures. Elyna followed the dips and swirls of the woodgrain before she set a hand at the foot of the bed. Relief was becoming a more important emotion that she had ever expected. The room was done and complete. It was ready. New life was coming and now it would have a home.
The woman straightened up and turned to face him once more. “Are you going to collect your bag from the barn, or will I have to do it for you?” She asked with a raised brow. The Skyrider took a few steps forward and stood an arms-length away from him. “Why would you sleep in the barn when there is a perfectly good bed right here? It will be warmer, you’ll be more comfortable.” She opted for rational arguments. Longing to reach out and touch him her fingers twitched at her sides. She had extended a hand and been denied before. The dream from the night before though, came in flashes of heat and the memory of lips brushing over soft skin.