It would appear, to the casual observer, that Faith had an inbuilt need, or a trained one, to feed. She had promised him lamb baked in a garlic and pistachio crust with chive potatoes and roasted root vegetables served with a mint gravy and she had delivered it cooked the very best she could. Served with a bottle of Stone Creek red wine she had eaten the food with more enthusiasm than the night before, although her appetite was small bordering on tiny, and she had taken sips at the wine but very slowly. Usually, followed by a strange expression on her face which suggested that not only was red wine an acquired taste, but also that she had not acquired it. In truth, she really didn't understand how Tristan drank so much of this muck. However, that aside, even she would have had to admit that the food was passing fair and she was pleased with it. If he'd have them, there would be extra helpings of everything and, to give her credit, she worked very hard not to just jump up and refill his glass or add to his plate. Mostly, she managed it, but now and then she realised too late and gave him an ironic and apologetic grin before sitting back down.
If he'd wanted to help with the preparation, she'd been more than happy to share that task with him, showing how to crush the pistachios, how to peel the vegetables, the basic tasks which he could pick up easily. She didn't ask him to, though, leaving it up to him what he wanted to do. During the preparation he might have noticed her moving more stiffly on one side than the other, like her arm or shoulder was stiff; she didn't say anything about it, but it was definitely there. Whilst she worked and whilst they ate it seemed that her default was to be quiet. She was perfectly content and she spoke if he did, but she didn't start a conversation at any point. Unsurprisingly, since he already knew her way of working, she was neat. She tidied and washed up as she went and had everything planned to within a trill it seemed, so that there was never disruption for any longer than there needed to be.
"There is more of everything, if you'd like anything?" She'd bought more than enough to feed four, after all, she didn't want to be caught short in her preparations. Once she was assured that he had eaten his fill she looked at him and suddenly smiled a most genuine smile "It is very tricky to not just take your glass over to put next to where you're sitting and then get on with the washing up. Small steps, though." It was all she could take, she knew, small steps; that meant of course that the journey would take longer but she couldn't go faster than she was capable of. "I went to see Lady Elyna and Malcolm today and told them." It had been important that she did, she knew. She'd mentioned them to him last night, but it had been a long night and she thought it was worth putting in context again.
How did she explain this? There were so many things that were going around her head and she looked at him and wondered if he had any idea of just what sort of lunacy he'd invited into his house. That wasn't a good thought, what if that meant that when she told him this he decided that didn't want her here? No. She banished that thought from her head and took a gulp of wine, pulled a face like she'd sucked at a particularly over-ripe lemon and charged head on in. "I was involved in the civil war last season. You know that. The Qe'dreki rebels who were holding Lady Elyna captive, who were trying to overthrow the king, they were the ones which attacked the walls. A lot of them fled and Malcolm and Elyna are leading troops into the burning mountains in a few trials to track them down." Such a large story, so many moments of terror and achievemnt and all the other things that she had felt, broken down into so few words.
"There was a moment, Padraig. When I realised that I'd made a difference and I could be free. I have to see it through. So I'm going with them. Which has knock on effects. I'll have to get the brand before I go. Lady Elyna and I tried to see the Empress today, but we weren't able to. We hope to, before we leave, to see if she can heal the brands rather than add a new one. But I can't be a branded slave in a military camp." She thought he probably didn't need that explaining, and she didn't offer to do so. "I'm scared of that. More scared than I'd like to admit, really. But if I have to, I'll do it." There was so much that she wanted to say about that. Would he think her hideous with a brand on her face? What about straight after it had been done, would he rather she was not here? She wanted to ask those things, and so many more, but of course, she did not. "I don't know how long the campaign will take. It might be a long time and not everyone will come back." There was no easy way to say that, so straight and clear was how she did it. Always, always it was so much easier just to hide behind factual statements.
"I didn't know they were going, but they told me and I've agreed to go with them. I didn't get details because Lord Krome was attacked, then I got stabbed. I'm fine, it's just a few stitches in my shoulder, but I needed to tell you. I'm leaving. I'll be back, I will. Plus, I wanted to ask you, really." Oh how did she do this? She wasn't good at any of this and she ran every scenario through in her mind. Each one had her saying things which she was just not physically capable of saying but which were there and pushing against her. More than that, every time she rehearsed it in her head she wanted to cry genuine tears and just ask him if he could still look at her with a brand on her face. It was beyond ridiculous. So, she stuck to what she was good at. "I thought that you would be a very helpful addition, your skills might be unexpected against the rebels. Also, we could pool resources and share things like equipment and tents. I'm not suggesting sleeping bags, but one tent rather than two. If you'd like to help. But there's no pressure, I haven't mentioned it to them, but I just thought you might...", she trailed off and sighed, she thought he might what? The possibilities were endless and she wrapped them all around in her head, tried to make sense of them and tried, genuinely tried to say all the things that she wanted to say.
"I'd like it if you did. But only if you want to, it's up to you, of course." Could it get any worse? Really, could she be more clumsy at this she thought and then, there it was, popping out of her mouth like she couldn't help herself "But I might have the brand, so you need to consider that." Marvellous work, Faith, her internal dialogue continued, make it look like you think he's that shallow. She took another glug of wine and pushed the glass away with a grimace. "That tastes worse than I communicate. I'm sorry. I should have stopped at 'I'd like it' or maybe ended with 'please, if you would, because then I'd feel like I might be able to do this'. That would have been better, and been more accurate"
If he'd wanted to help with the preparation, she'd been more than happy to share that task with him, showing how to crush the pistachios, how to peel the vegetables, the basic tasks which he could pick up easily. She didn't ask him to, though, leaving it up to him what he wanted to do. During the preparation he might have noticed her moving more stiffly on one side than the other, like her arm or shoulder was stiff; she didn't say anything about it, but it was definitely there. Whilst she worked and whilst they ate it seemed that her default was to be quiet. She was perfectly content and she spoke if he did, but she didn't start a conversation at any point. Unsurprisingly, since he already knew her way of working, she was neat. She tidied and washed up as she went and had everything planned to within a trill it seemed, so that there was never disruption for any longer than there needed to be.
"There is more of everything, if you'd like anything?" She'd bought more than enough to feed four, after all, she didn't want to be caught short in her preparations. Once she was assured that he had eaten his fill she looked at him and suddenly smiled a most genuine smile "It is very tricky to not just take your glass over to put next to where you're sitting and then get on with the washing up. Small steps, though." It was all she could take, she knew, small steps; that meant of course that the journey would take longer but she couldn't go faster than she was capable of. "I went to see Lady Elyna and Malcolm today and told them." It had been important that she did, she knew. She'd mentioned them to him last night, but it had been a long night and she thought it was worth putting in context again.
How did she explain this? There were so many things that were going around her head and she looked at him and wondered if he had any idea of just what sort of lunacy he'd invited into his house. That wasn't a good thought, what if that meant that when she told him this he decided that didn't want her here? No. She banished that thought from her head and took a gulp of wine, pulled a face like she'd sucked at a particularly over-ripe lemon and charged head on in. "I was involved in the civil war last season. You know that. The Qe'dreki rebels who were holding Lady Elyna captive, who were trying to overthrow the king, they were the ones which attacked the walls. A lot of them fled and Malcolm and Elyna are leading troops into the burning mountains in a few trials to track them down." Such a large story, so many moments of terror and achievemnt and all the other things that she had felt, broken down into so few words.
"There was a moment, Padraig. When I realised that I'd made a difference and I could be free. I have to see it through. So I'm going with them. Which has knock on effects. I'll have to get the brand before I go. Lady Elyna and I tried to see the Empress today, but we weren't able to. We hope to, before we leave, to see if she can heal the brands rather than add a new one. But I can't be a branded slave in a military camp." She thought he probably didn't need that explaining, and she didn't offer to do so. "I'm scared of that. More scared than I'd like to admit, really. But if I have to, I'll do it." There was so much that she wanted to say about that. Would he think her hideous with a brand on her face? What about straight after it had been done, would he rather she was not here? She wanted to ask those things, and so many more, but of course, she did not. "I don't know how long the campaign will take. It might be a long time and not everyone will come back." There was no easy way to say that, so straight and clear was how she did it. Always, always it was so much easier just to hide behind factual statements.
"I didn't know they were going, but they told me and I've agreed to go with them. I didn't get details because Lord Krome was attacked, then I got stabbed. I'm fine, it's just a few stitches in my shoulder, but I needed to tell you. I'm leaving. I'll be back, I will. Plus, I wanted to ask you, really." Oh how did she do this? She wasn't good at any of this and she ran every scenario through in her mind. Each one had her saying things which she was just not physically capable of saying but which were there and pushing against her. More than that, every time she rehearsed it in her head she wanted to cry genuine tears and just ask him if he could still look at her with a brand on her face. It was beyond ridiculous. So, she stuck to what she was good at. "I thought that you would be a very helpful addition, your skills might be unexpected against the rebels. Also, we could pool resources and share things like equipment and tents. I'm not suggesting sleeping bags, but one tent rather than two. If you'd like to help. But there's no pressure, I haven't mentioned it to them, but I just thought you might...", she trailed off and sighed, she thought he might what? The possibilities were endless and she wrapped them all around in her head, tried to make sense of them and tried, genuinely tried to say all the things that she wanted to say.
"I'd like it if you did. But only if you want to, it's up to you, of course." Could it get any worse? Really, could she be more clumsy at this she thought and then, there it was, popping out of her mouth like she couldn't help herself "But I might have the brand, so you need to consider that." Marvellous work, Faith, her internal dialogue continued, make it look like you think he's that shallow. She took another glug of wine and pushed the glass away with a grimace. "That tastes worse than I communicate. I'm sorry. I should have stopped at 'I'd like it' or maybe ended with 'please, if you would, because then I'd feel like I might be able to do this'. That would have been better, and been more accurate"
Off Topic
I forgot to deduct the cost of the wine (4gn), so have taken it out of my ledger now - the other stuff was paid for in the other thread. All there!